Parenting often requires making difficult decisions. You can’t give your children everything that they ask for, even if you want to. And you will inevitably hurt their feelings at some point, just by telling them no. But knowing that doesn’t make it any easier in the moment.
One mom reached out to the internet for advice after she had to deliver the news to her oldest that she wouldn’t be able to help her pay for daycare. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers left the mother.
Telling your children no is never easy, no matter how old they are
This mom refused to help her daughter pay for daycare, so she could prioritize other financial obligations
It's important for parents to let their kids learn from their mistakes
Being a parent is a lifetime commitment. The job doesn’t end the day that your children turn 18, even if they are self-sufficient by that time. They will always turn to Mom and Dad for love, guidance, and sometimes, to be bailed out.
How much parents decide to help is up to them. They are expected to support their children no matter what. But sometimes, that means letting them learn a valuable lesson, even if it’s difficult.
According to Amy Edmondson at Scientific American, letting your kids fail is crucial to their development and future success.
“It can be hard to watch your kids fail. You absorb their disappointment,” Edmondson notes. “You want to fix whatever went wrong quickly, so they can feel good again. But part of making this work is learning to live with your discomfort, your anxiety about them missing the short-term gain over the long-term lesson.”
It’s important for kids to know that they have a support system that they can rely on when they mess up. But they shouldn’t be sheltered from making mistakes and learning from them. This allows them to become more resilient and helps them avoid bigger mistakes in the future.
When it comes to asking parents for help, money is one of the most common things adult children ask for. In fact, Northwestern Mutual’s 2026 Planning & Progress Study found that 42% of Americans admit that they rely on their parents for financial support.
This includes nearly three-quarters of Gen Z and over half of Millennials. And as long as the parents can afford it, financial experts say there’s nothing wrong with receiving their “inheritance” a bit early.
Many parents simply can't afford to help their adult children out financially
“The whole cycle of waiting for an inheritance to give is counterproductive,” says Megan McCoy, a financial therapist and professor at Kansas State University. “Oftentimes, that inheritance comes when the child is at the most financially stable part of their lives, instead of giving them the gifts when they need the support the most.”
However, many parents simply can’t afford to help out their kids. A 2026 Gallup survey found that 55% of Americans say their finances are getting worse. Meanwhile, another recent survey found that 77% of Americans feel anxious about their current financial situation.
If parents can barely afford to take care of themselves, they’re certainly not going to be able to fund their adult children’s lives too. And when it comes to paying for daycare specifically, that is not a small financial commitment.
The average cost of daycare for a preschool-aged child in the United States is $930 per month. That adds up to a whopping $11,160 per year. That’s not a small sum for any family, especially not one that is already struggling financially.
As difficult as it will be for this young mother to have to figure out a way to fund her child’s daycare alone, it will be a learning experience for her. And hopefully, in the future, she won’t need to ask her mother for money at all.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think the mother made the right choice by telling her adult daughter no? Feel free to weigh in, and then you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family drama right here.
Later, the author shared more details about the situation
Many readers assured the mom that she had done nothing wrong, noting that her daughter needs to learn how to solve her own problems
