Parents Share The Moments They Realized Their Kids Might Be Horrible People (35 Posts)

Before my son could crawl he learned how to climb the extra tall baby gate.

Before he could walk he climbed the window sill

Before he could run he climbed the bunk bed

Before he could open an applesauce container he learned how to unlock the front door

I’m not sure what moment made me think “yep. He’s a monster”

It might have been when I almost witnessed Harambe 2. I ducked down for ten seconds to tie his sister’s shoe and when I looked up he had one leg over the barrier ready to go say hello. He’s 2 by the way.

Or it might have been when I resigned myself to the leash. I brought it home, prepared for the protests. Instead he declared himself a puppy dog, made his siblings play police with him for two hours while he “sniffed out the bad guys” then gleefully showed me how easy it was for him to take the thing off.

I give up guys.

I have three sons. 8, 23 and 26.

The middle one, Andrew, boasted to me that he slept with "over 30 chicks" on Tinder. And with some of them in my bed.

He told me that pouring hot water on daddy would be so, so, sooooo funny.

when my daughter was much younger, she and my ex's son talked at great length about how fun it would be to chop me up, cook my body, and throw me away**.

When my daughter was naughty as a pre- schooler we used to put her in the kitchen for a timeout. We had a safety gate on the doorway and as long as nothing was cooking in there it was like a holding pen for her. Well she started to ask to go to the toilet as soon as she was put in there. At first she was allowed to go but pretty soon it became clear she was just using the toilet excuse to get out of the timeout early. The first time I told her she could go to the toilet after timeout (which usually only last a few minutes) she proceeded to pee on the kitchen floor in retaliation. She has a terrible temper. She's 15 now it's still there.

I'm not a parent but I remember when I was 6 and my brother was 4.5 we took a watermelon from the kitchen whilst our mum was on the phone and we managed to drag it up the stairs and then rolled it down. It smashed all over the CARPET at the bottom of the stairs. Our mum was so mad.

My six yo daughter told me to shave that thing off, my goatee. Couple days later I did, I asked her, "do you like it?" She makes a bit of a face and says" no I didn't know your chin was so small.".

When my son blithely told me he wants to play the documentary Under the Curve for his classmates because he is trying to convince them the world is flat. He admits he knows it is not, but he is trying, actively, to CON them into thinking it IS.

My 6 year old daughter punched my 4 year old son in the face and gave him a bloody nose. When I asked her why she punched him in the face, she looked at me and said. 'I didn't punch him in the face, I punched him in the nose'.

Oh man, too many to list. The most recent is when my son shot me with his Nerf gun directly in my eyeball. My eye still hurts a week later. A couple of weeks ago, my other son pooped on the floor (he's 3) and put a donut on top of it to hide it.

My 5 and 10 year old were having an epic verbal war in the living room which ended abruptly after I shouted various generic parenting noises in their direction.

My 5 year old son then walked confidently into the kitchen, took a picture of his brother off the fridge proceeded to dispose of it in the bin.

Utterly jerk behaviour of course but honestly I was secretly extremely impressed with his top passive aggression.

My 8 year old son had gotten a plastic baseball bat from me and my wife, this plastic baseball bat wasn’t just some weak plastic it actually was pretty hard. Well one day I walk outside to see my younger 5 year old daughter screaming and running from my 8 year old son who is holding the baseball bat and wacking her wherever he can, he was wearing my jeans, had a bandana on and a baseball cap on backwards. He kept calling himself a cool kid and wouldn’t stop wacking her. I ran over and stopped him and my Wife took our daughter inside to get an ice pack. I took the bat away and asked him why he was hitting her, and I repeat exactly what he said “because I’m a cool kid and cool kids show there siblings who’s the leader, daddy”. He got grounded for a week and after he was done with the grounding he told me he was very sorry, he wasn’t finished... A month later I find him running around with a plastic sword in a ninja costume from last Halloween and wacking my daughter again! I ran over, stopped him, my daughter ran off, and when I asked him why he hit her this time he said “because it’s fun”. He got grounded for a very long time, and I realized then he needed counseling. He is now 20 and my daughter is 17, my son had come over for dinner one night and some how that was brought up, he denied the entire thing even though before that he said he remembered counseling! I just hope he doesn’t raise his newborn son to be a karate master

My son is autistic, and therefore lacks a strong filter for his internal thoughts. Anyhoo, we were getting ready to leave the house a couple of years ago and he looks at me and goes, "Are you really going to work without any makeup?".

My 5 year old son didn’t like the babysitter we got for him on our date night. So he hid the car keys and my husband’s wallet, only taking out some cash to pay the babysitter..

Also one of my shoe, but that was poorly hidden.

My dad told me when we were driving once , I was in the back and was trying to climb through to the front , he pushed me back to my seat, I was maybe 6-7 and apparently said ‘when you’re all old and weak I’m going to chuck you about!’.

Not a parent, but an older brother of a young sibling. He poured paint thinner all over my moms flowers one summer after my dad accidentally left it on the deck (we were repainting the deck). More happy that he didn’t drink it but it was definitely an “oh my god” moment. She probably spends 100 hours+ and a lot of money gardening every spring/summer so it was a big deal.