30 Parents Share The Moment They Were Appalled By Their Own Kid

I'll just tell my side for my mother. (For clarity, she has admitted all this to me in the past, these aren't assumptions or anything like that)

I was an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy in her teens. She didn't want me from the get go. She would often leave at night, with me in the care of my father, cousin or grandparents and go party. When I was 2, right after my brother was born, our father died in an accident. My mother took this opportunity to leave me with my grandparents after the funeral and just leave, taking my brother with her. Over the next several years I saw her sporadically and for maybe a few hours at a time once a year or so.

Fast forward to when I was teen and I was living with her because she wanted a babysitter for my younger half siblings she came home drunk and I had had the last straw and screamed out, "Why do you hate me??" And she point blank told me it was because I looked, spoke, acted and carried myself just like my father. The thing is, she loved my father with everything she had, she even kept my brother instead of abandoning him because he shared our father's name.

When she was sober, I confronted her again and I told her I wanted the rest of the truth (I just knew there was more) and she didn't even try to pawn it off as her being drunk. She told me the same thing but added on that she never wanted me in the first place, that she felt no connection or bond with me, never had and that I may as well have been someone elses child and with the way things turned out, I may as well have been my grandparents child rather than grandchild. She said she should have listened to her father (my grandfather) when he told her to abort me and that the only reason she didn't was because my father wanted me and she loved him.

This both surprised me but also....not really. Like I knew she felt like this on some level but to actually hear it sort of threw me for a loop. To this day my younger siblings, who I basically raised, do not know me as their sister, they have no idea. My mother has kept it from them, they just assume I'm another relative (likely a cousin) from our massive family. The other thing is that all 5 of my other siblings were also unplanned/unwanted but she treats them like kings and queens, they had the type of bond with her I only ever dreamed about as a child.

Not me but my grandparents, i thought they loved my dad (who was verbally abusive to wife and kids, plus some physical abuse to me mostly) until we ditched him and he tried to move in with them but my pap called him a "deadbeat dad" and to get out

It wasn't until we escaped that my grandparents ever said a word against him but now it seems like they hate his guts

My kid has several issues my wife and I are tring to solve. He beats up on us, tries to hurt himself, screams & yells whenever he doesn't get his way. Rages to the points where he's unable to control himself. I can go on and on, but you probably get the gist.

Having kids has turned into a very stressful & exhausting life. Since my kid is only four, I'm very scared for the future. But with everything we're dealing with, I love him more than anything else in the world and could never live without him.

There are a few things that really irk me about my son and I recognize them as the result of me dropping the ball on being a good parent a few times. So I'm constantly trying to improve his behavior through improving my behavior. I feel bad for the people who were terrible parents and weren't able to recognize it or correct it, for whatever reason. :/

My two year old got sent home from daycare today because he bit three different kids, unprovoked, before noon.

My 2 year old just yanked my hair and laughed when I said 'ouch!'. I still love him but he's a little f****r sometimes.

My grandmother had 3 kids and doesn't like any of them. Loves all three but doesn't like them. The first is just an a*****e used her for money and her house like a hotel. Second... they just don't click, total opposites. Third is a needy lil mooch/hoarder who throws tantrums over stuff like the frosting color on Easter cookies because "that's not how daddy did it when I was little"

Now I'm not a parent, but damn is my mom pissed at my brother. The two were never really close, but after the divorce, my brother - call him Eric - clearly sided with my dad. Eric was already in the rebellious teen phase, so my parents' divorce really threw his emotions around.

It kept on escalating slowly, Eric refusing to clean up after dinner, my mother insisting that Eric always ask his friends for rides home from events, and that he be perfect in every way. My mother's side of it was always passive aggressive, never physical, all the way up to Eric's 16th birthday, almost a year and a half after the divorce.

He was upset with my mom because Angsty-Teen-Reasons, and wanted to spend his birthday with our dad, even though by the custody agreement, he was under our mom's jurisdiction. My mom felt that this was an assault on her as a person, and as a mother, and just lost her head. She started screaming her face off at Eric, saying how he was a terrible human being, and how she hadn't spent the past 15 years raising him to act like such a jerk to his mother. However, it was kind of my brother's 16th birthday, so he got pissed that she had forgotten his age. He stormed out, biked over to his friend's house down the street (No license yet), and then had his party with our dad like he had wanted.

The two didn't talk again for another month, until Eric started looking at colleges. Of course, since he's such an outstanding student and athlete, he had plenty of colleges that he wanted to go to. Unfortunately, Eric is shit at doing any sort of paperwork, so literally the first thing he says to my mom is, "Can you fill this application out for me?" Needless to say, it took a little more than that to convince her to lift anything other than her finger, but it reopened the dialogue between the two.

It's been two years now, and the two are still frosty, but at least they're talking. That month was one of the worst experiences of my life, having to deal with Angsty-Teen-Bitch and Eric my mother being so angry all the time.

I wanted to be a parent and love my child more than anything in the entire universe. AND ALSO I hate how she makes my house messy, I hate that I have to put her first financially and she will never appreciate that, and I hate how much of my time revolves around her. I hate what pregnancy did to my body. So whenever I think of people subjecting themselves to parenthood and all of its struggles without actually wanting to raise a human... I just don't get it. Like no. You will hate every second.

Even though he has some mental issues (thanks, drug-abusing bio-donors!!), the parental and school worker disrespect, f'd up attitude, stealing, drug-using, assaultive behavior towards peers, and hell-raising at school, and general dickishness (waaaayyyy beyond the normal pre-teen and teen dickishness) makes me flatly feel like not even trying anymore.

Even therapy and psych meds merely temporarily lower his extreme dickishness to merely incipid dickishness. Frankly, I'm just running out the clock until he more fully gets into "the system" (was already on probation for assaulting another student) until he does something truly stupid, and goes to the pokey. Until then, I don't really feel like investing much in the way of emotions in him. Just another person who happens to live in my house, and the more he's not there, the more peaceful life is.

Sad to say, I know...but too true.

EDIT: Holy crap, didn't think this would get as much attention as it did. To all of the kind folks (both professionals and fellow parents, and former "bad kids" who "get it"), thanks for your great advice. I'd really like to help my son be as successful as he can possibly be, and keep him from being the latest victim of a gang shooting gone bad, or a "I-was-in-fear-of-my-life" police event, or from irrevocably injuring himself with drugs or prison life (he thinks he's hard, but from personal experience, real criminals and gangstas would eat him for breakfast). All of these things are no bueno.