RelationshipsFEB 25, 2023

Daughter Who Was Disowned By Her Parents For Being Gay Refuses To Support Them Financially, Wonders If She's Being Cruel

Mindaugas Balčiauskas and Rokas Laurinavičius

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Coming out can be an incredibly difficult and scary experience, especially when the people closest to you react negatively. For Reddit user MadeTheirBed_aita, it resulted in her being disowned by her entire family.

Despite the challenges she faced, however, the woman was able to build a happy life. But then, when everything seemed going great, her parents reached out for help after facing financial struggles, and she was faced with a difficult decision.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), parental, family, and caregiver support is very valuable in helping children and youth cope with adversity, especially if they encounter stigma or prejudice associated with factors such as their race/ethnicity, gender, disability, sexuality, weight or socioeconomic status.

For example, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth who are accepted by family members and caregivers are more likely to exhibit healthy development in adolescence, e.g., participating actively with peers, showing personal autonomy, and looking forward to the future. So it's both sad that the author of the post had to grow up as an outcast and heartwarming that she managed to pull through regardless.

"Unconditional love can be problematic"

Image credits: ORION_production (not the actual photo)

In an increasingly polarized world, conversations about children who stop speaking to their parents have become somewhat common. Yet it also happens the other way around, even if the frequency is much lower. A 2015 study conducted by the British estrangement charity Stand Alone showed that 5% of estranged parents had initiated it themselves.

"In both research and popular culture, we rarely hear from parents who estrange themselves from their children because it's so taboo, and there are very few non-judgemental places to speak openly about the experience," Lucy Blake, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of West England, Bristol, who specializes in estrangement, told the BBC.

The reasons parents end relationships with their children are similar to the reasons kids cut off their parents. Blake said that among the most commonly cited are family conflict, differences in personal values (such as religious beliefs), substance abuse, and other toxic behavior.