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There are many reasons why people voluntarily choose not to have babies of their own. An article by The Upshot revealed that the main ones were the need for more free time, finding a partner, and not being able to afford childcare. Some couples don’t have the desire to have kids at all and would rather focus on their careers and spend time traveling.
Bored Panda reached out to Helena Woods, who kindly agreed to share about her child-free experience. She told us that it wasn't something she had doubts about.
"It’s never been hard for me to make this decision to be child-free. I’ve always known. And when you have that intuitive, knowing feeling in your gut, it’s not something you have to sift and sort through your mind. I’ve always loved children but knew I came here to live a different lifestyle and pursue different things."
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The hardest part for her is receiving judgment from strangers and even her loved ones. "I’ve been happily married for 6 years, with him for 9, and we’ve both known we didn’t want kids since we first started dating. To this day, I’m still pressured by my mother to give her grandchildren, even though I’ve firmly set boundaries and communicated that I don’t want to be a parent. She doesn’t let it go."
She tells us that uncomfortable situations where strangers feel like they deserve an explanation of why she doesn't want to become a parent happen too often.
"If I eat pizza, strangers look at my belly and ask me when I’m expecting. As a woman, you can’t escape the constant questioning. It’s as if people don’t realize we each have our own intuition to listen to, and our own unique path in life. Not everyone is meant to be a parent and not everyone wants to."
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Another difficult challenge Woods faces is that people think she doesn't like kids because she's living a child-free life. "I adore kids, and I’ve worked in childcare since I was a teenager. But what people fail to realize is that just because one loves children, it doesn't mean they would want to dedicate their entire life to being a parent to one. There’s no nuance anymore. People just assume you hate kids. It’s very hurtful."
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Concerning her partner, Woods told Bored Panda that the decision was completely mutual. "My husband and I both discussed not having kids early on when dating. We have check-ins every year to discuss whether or not we still don’t want to have kids. The decision was easy: we’ve always been on the same page. We realized that we love our peace. And we love silence. We love the open-ended freedom to do what we want to do in life. Not every year is promised."
"And we both have a lot of personal dreams, of travel, of books we want to write, of hobbies and subjects to learn about. More than anything, we love having the space and time to design our days the way we want to. We both recognize the sacrifice, time, and dedication to raising humans in the world, and for us personally, it’s not a prerequisite for our happiness. There is more to life than raising humans."
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She was also kind enough to provide some advice to people who might feel that they want a child-free life but feel too pressured by societal norms to accept it.
"Listen to yourself. Trust yourself. We don’t talk enough about the importance of self-trust. You know yourself more than anyone else. No mother, no neighbor, or teacher knows what you, yourself, want and will be happy with. Prioritize that soft whisper, that inner knowing. Listen to that gut feeling that you have and trust it. No one else’s opinion about your body and what you do with it is worth listening to."
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