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30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
Occasions,WeddingDEC 15, 2023

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread

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If you’ve ever planned a wedding, you’ve likely been bombarded with a host of expectations and recommendations. You may have heard that “you’ve just got to have a bouquet toss!” Or reminded not to forget your "something blue" and "something borrowed!” 
But every couple has the right to plan their big day however they like, and according to women of Reddit, there are plenty of traditions they’d happily retire. Below, you’ll find a list of traditions surrounding tying the knot that some women find outdated and unnecessary, as well as a conversation with Editor in Chief at Bespoke Bride, Jhona Yellin. Enjoy scrolling through whether you’re wedding planning or not, and be sure to upvote the traditions you’re tired of as well!

#1

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
Smashing cake in the faces. What a tacky thing to do.
134points

#2

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
The newlyweds going into large amounts of debt to have the "perfect" wedding.
133points

To learn more about which wedding traditions are fading out of style, we reached out to Jhona Yellin, Editor in Chief at Bespoke Bride, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. She shared that one tradition she’s noticed happening far less recently is the father-daughter dance. 

“This is a tradition where the bride dances with her father as a symbol of their bond and his approval of her marriage,” Jhona explained. “While this may seem sweet and sentimental, it can also be problematic for many reasons. For one thing, not every bride has a father or a good relationship with him. For another, this tradition can imply that the bride is being ‘given away’ by her father to her husband, as if she is a property or a prize. This is not only outdated, but also sexist and patriarchal.”

#3

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
Any references to the groom being "tied down" or the bride being the old "ball and chain". Like f**k why do we keep acting like married couples hate each other?
125points

#4

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
I found out in some wedding traditions, the groom removes the garter from the bride with his teeth in front of everyone, and that sounds intensely uncomfortable to me.
100points

#5

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
Brides family pays for the wedding. There are 2 people in the relationship, so why? If you have parents paying for it, it should be a shared cost. Realistically, I think the bride and groom should pay for their own wedding. Either way, the cost shouldn't fall on a single party.
93points

“I think [the] tradition [of the father-daughter dance] has become outdated and should be replaced by something more inclusive and empowering,” Jhona suggests. “For example, the bride can dance with any person who has been influential or supportive in her life, regardless of their gender or relation. Or, the bride can skip the dance altogether and do something else that showcases her personality and talents, such as singing a song, giving a speech, or performing a skit.”

#6

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
The fact that the second you mention anything is for a wedding, the price jumps x100.
My daughter’s wedding planner bought round, decorated cakes from a local baker and stacked them herself with a wedding topper for a tiny fraction of the price the same bakery would have charged for the same cakes for a wedding.
91points

#7

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
Bachelorette/bachelor parties in cultures where they're more or less expected to revolve around or at least include sexual and/or humiliating activities. Plus points if the goal is to get the bride/groom p**s drunk too. In my world, those events are a way to celebrate a friend and their marriage, not something that should embarrass them or have any hints of the absolute gross "last night of freedom" idea, no matter how jokingly. It's extremely weird and uncomfortable to me and I'd never partake in it.
80points

#8

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
The bride being "given away" by her father, like she was his possession and now she's the groom's.
77points

As for brides and grooms who feel pressure to continue these traditions, even if they may not like them, Jhona urges them to stand up for themselves and their preferences. “It’s your wedding day, and you should be able to celebrate it in a way that reflects your style, values, and vision,” the  expert says. “Don’t let anyone else dictate what you should or shouldn’t do, especially if it makes you uncomfortable or unhappy.”

#9

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
I'm half South-Asian, so we have this "tradition" where the bride is expected to be sad and quiet/shy during the ceremony. The elders typically look down on brides who are happy, dancing, etc. It's such bs and needs to be abolished.
Also, there's an expectation to invite and cater to people that you don't even know. Friends of friends that are supposed "family". You're also expected to invite family members even if you don't like them.
The show of force, as I like to call it, is another thing that irks me. The weddings that I have attended have always been big, flashy events. Gotta have the best cars, big venues, tons of people, flashy designer stuff, etc.
I'm not a fan of it. To me, it just looks like you're spending thousands to impress people that you don't even know or like, lol. It'll all be a distant memory to them once it's over and something new pops up.
77points

#10

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
"Mr. and Mrs. John Smith".
72points

#11

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
Vows along the lines of "wives, submit yourself to your husbands"
69points

“Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to be rude or dismissive of other people’s opinions or expectations,” Jhona added. “You can still be respectful and diplomatic, but firm and assertive. You can explain your reasons for choosing or rejecting certain traditions, and offer alternatives or compromises if possible. You can also enlist the help of your partner, friends, or wedding planner to support you and communicate with others on your behalf.” 

#12

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
Most of them. Honestly, the excessiveness of weddings these days is nauseating to me. Not sure if that qualifies as a “tradition.” I don’t care for grandiosity when it comes to a one day ordeal that is truly meant for the bride and groom. It shouldn’t have to be a big production to entertain everyone else.
60points

#13

Honestly, the fact that people feel pressured to throw this massive, expensive extravaganza. Bring back the backyard weddings with a chill cookout.
Report
60points

#14

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
The 67000000000 pre wedding events. Bridal shower, bachelorette all that dumb expensive stuff.
58points

In lieu of some of the traditions they may not love, Jhona recommends that couples find fun and unique ways to incorporate cultural traditions into their weddings. “For example, if you want to showcase some Spanish culture in your wedding, you can do so by choosing a Spanish-inspired venue, such as a hacienda or a vineyard, or by adding some Spanish elements to the decor, such as colorful tiles, fans, or flowers,” she told Bored Panda. “You can also wear some Spanish accessories, such as a mantilla veil, a bolero jacket, or a red rose. Take a look at this real Spanish-inspired wedding that we covered a while ago.”

“Remember, the most important thing is that you and your partner are happy and satisfied with your wedding day, not anyone else,” Jhona added. 

#15

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
In my country groom acts like he is paying for the bride, he brings money and there come few men dressed as a fake bride and groom is like "I don't like this one, bring me next!" And then comes the real bride who he "buys"
55points

#16

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
The garter toss. It needs to die like yesterday. It’s so crude. I did it at my wedding when I got married to my ex husband and if I have a big wedding for the next time, we’re 86ing it. I felt gross when we did it.
52points

#17

Honestly, being forced to wear WHITE HEELS that I'd never wear again... I bought bright peach flats that I wore ALL DAY. My MIL wasn't amused, especially at church. I, however, was delighted that after all of the other concessions I made that day, that I was able to stand my ground in the Orthodox church. But, afterward, I wore them until they became a different color and clearly well worn. No regrets!
50points

As old traditions fade, new ones emerge. And one popular wedding trend Jhona says she’s noticed recently is the personalized vow exchange. “This is a trend where the bride and groom write and recite their own vows to each other, instead of repeating the standard ones provided by the officiant,” she explained. “This trend allows the couple to express their love, commitment, and promises in their own words, and to make their ceremony more intimate and meaningful.”

#18

Money dance. So incredibly tacky.
50points

#19

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
"I now pronounce you Man and Wife!"
Was he not a man before? Is she just a wife now? If people started saying "I now pronounce you Woman and and Husband!" people might think that sounds weird, but it is exactly the same and just as odd.
47points

#20

30 Of The Stupidest Wedding Traditions, As Shared On This Online Thread
I don’t know if this is a tradition or more of a general sentiment, but phrases like “getting it out of your system” and “last fling before the ring” regarding indulging in some debauchery before the wedding ceremony are just disgusting.
The idea that someone would feel “the need” to possibly cheat on their partner is awful. There are plenty of couples who go to strip clubs together, too, and that enjoyment wouldn’t disappear after a wedding.
I have heard in movies excuses like, “Oh, at least he/she did it before the wedding” (and let’s be honest—the excuse almost always applies to the male partner).
43points

“I think [the trend of personalized vows] is a wonderful and refreshing way to celebrate the uniqueness and authenticity of each couple and their relationship,” Jhona says. “It also gives the guests a chance to witness and share in the couple’s emotions and stories, and to feel more connected and involved in the ceremony. I highly recommend this trend to any couple who wants to add a personal touch and a creative flair to their wedding day.”

If you’d like to hear more about trends or traditions you might want to incorporate into your big day, be sure to visit Bespoke Bride for endless inspiration!

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