“It Just Seems So Gross To Me”: 50 Parenting Clichés And Stereotypes That Need To Retire

The whole "don't say no" thing. Just....no.

On the Mr. Mom thing I hate when strangers complement dads for doing the bare minimum. Particularly Boomers. If my husband, who absolutely 100% is a fantastic dad, takes the baby out by himself he gets called a good dad by strangers. It happens every time. Meanwhile I will be with the toddler. Once he took both kids to the playground by himself and got called a good dad for giving mum a break. I was having a break because I had been with them by myself for the past 72 hours while he was on a boys trip. No one told me I’m a good mum in that time…. Actually you know what from now on I’m going to start randomly saying this to other women when they’re on their own with the kids. Particularly on the weekend.

I hate the Suffering Olympics, making hurtful comparisons or treating parents of onlies like they aren’t experienced parents and are on easy street. We need to support one another and not dismiss other parents.

I have one kid who is going on 6 and people treat me like I’m not a “real mom.” Whenever I try to talk about challenges or this or that, it’s like:

“You don’t understand because you don’t have a boy.” (My MIL said this to me when my nephew was acting up at Xmas. He was a toddler being a toddler.)

“Try twins.” -When I was almost hallucinating from lack of sleep, when she was a newborn.

Made a comment about how having a baby was a lot of work but a lot of fun. “Just wait. You think 7 months is a lot of work, wait until she’s 7 and you have to deal with their emotions.”

We have had almost no help her entire childhood thus far.

I don’t go around telling people “must be nice,” that have grandparents or family nearby. Or “oh you have help? Imagine having no support.” I am just happy for them.

I am very proud of what we’ve accomplished and do not need to win the Suffering Olympics to prove I’m a good mom.

Shaming breastfeeding moms or breastfeeding moms not being allowed to talk about breastfeeding without hearing someone bring up "nOt EvErYoNe cAn bReAsTfEeD".

I get it. Most moms don't want to formula feed. I personally didn't want to because it's super expensive. But I should be able to talk about it without someone trying to make me feel bad about it or shaming me for giving my kid food.

Moms bragging about how they never leave their kids or go and do anything ever. Legit had a friend brag that she hasn’t spent a night away from her child who’s almost 5. Dude, that’s not a brag, that’s a serious problem and you need to separate yourself. Maybe she feels guilty because she works a TON during the week and feels a need to overcompensate? Either way, mom’s need time for themselves!

The whole notion that teenagers are just terrible. I have a 16 and 19 year old, they are great, so are their friends.

Not wanting girls because of the “teenage years” or whatever age period they pick.

All of the gender stuff - "girls are easier," calling girls "busy" while just shrugging off boys having the same attention span because "that's just how boys are." Telling me that I'm not prepared for my soon to be born son since he is going to be so different from his sisters. Like, no, all toddlers have a short attention span and my son will be different because all children are different. Boys are little hooligans because their parents let them be, not because they are genetically predisposed to bad behavior.

Oh, how about this one, ladies.
The idea that your children are all that you should/do need in order to be happy, and that if you do not feel this way or want something more, you are a bad mother. And people will actually try to make you feel guilty for not feeling this way. I have lost count of the number of people who have straight up told me that as long as I have my daughter I should be perfectly content in life, and if I am not I am a terrible mother who has something wrong with her

The newest one is posting videos of parents teaching their toddlers basic life tasks and thinking it’s a revolutionary thing while putting down their future partners. Like, “I’m teaching my daughter to build so that shes not impressed with your dusty son putting up a shelf,” or “Teaching my son to cook so that he’s not impressed by your daughter’s frozen lasagna!”

It started out funny but like with everything it just got ruined and more outrageous. Feels like we’re raising a generation of really ungrateful and cruel people who can’t appreciate small things other people do because it’s “expected to be done”.

The idea that all parents lose their identities once they have children and become boring, souless, shells of their former selves who never do anything fun or for themselves.

That, as a stepmom, I'm an evil b***h who hates her stepson. Or that I'm my husband's affair partner. Or that we're "playing house" and that I'm trying to replace my stepsons mother.

All couldn't be further from the truth. I do step up to be the maternal figure he deserves since his mom has chosen to just see him 2 days a week but jfc, society (on line and in person) paints ne out to be the wicked witch for existing and it needs to stop.

Negative stereotypes of SAHMs--that they're uneducated, lazy, spending their hardworking husband's money, don't do anything all day, etc.

I recently became a SAHM after working outside the home my entire career and I'm shocked at how often those stereotypes are openly thrust upon me. People feel no shame about it. We just had a tax appointment and we own two businesses--a general contracting firm and a small farm. My husband said that the GC is the main source of income and that "the farm is, yknow--" and the accountant cut him off, looked at me, and said "just something to keep *you* busy?"

The only child stereotypes.

RedRose_812 replied:
As a mom to an only child (and not by choice, because infertility is a b**ch, but people who are one and done by choice hear this cr*p too), I am so tired of hearing that 'you're not a real mom/parent/family until you have more than one child.' Having my parenting struggles diminished because I have 'just one,' being told that I should 'give [my] daughter a sibling,' that she must be so lonely without a sibling to play with, or that she'll be a selfish, spoiled, unsocialized weirdo without a sibling — just stop.

The stupid every time someone has a girl "She has her daddy wrapped around her little finger!" Dumbassery. It's annoying and kind of creepy.

Schools calling mom when then us a behavioral issues or the kid is sick/injuries. It’s 2023. Both parents usually work. My kids former school despite putting down that dad was to be called first insisted they call me. Never mind that my husband worked from home and it five minutes from school at any given moment they decide to call who works outside the home about 10 minutes away but wouldn’t be able to leave until they find coverage for my department.

I understand calling me if they can’t reach my husband, but they didn’t even try to reach him. Often times I would text him to see if they called him and he said no but would then go in and explain to call him first and next time same issue.

Piercing kids' ears until they are old enough to consent. It’s so sad to see infants with their ear lobes pierced.

That children are just awful, horrible little monsters all the time, any kid will "ruin" everyone's time if they're in a restaurant, and that kids should just stay home. And that all parents are lifeless creatures who are ruining everything. This is usually from the rude end of the "childfree lifestyle" people. I think I've been far more disturbed, annoyed, harassed, and offended by other adults in my life, but ok, one ig video of a little kid crying quietly for a second and it's all "I hAtE kIdS. ThIs Is WhY i UsE bIrTh CoNtRoL". Nobody cares that you hate kids and have no patience and this trend of loudly proclaiming how much you hate whole groups of people based on factors they can't control is going to look pretty gross in a few years.

When my husband travels for work, the assumption that life goes on like normal. But when I travel for work, there's always an assumption that I will arrange for my husband to have help when I am gone.

My husband and I both work from home with very flexible schedules but I have the much larger workload. We split household stuff pretty even, and then he takes on more of the childcare to balance my workload. We take time to do events and activities all together, but he does breakfast, drop off, pick up, dinner, bathtime while I work. While we both signed up as volunteers for school, my husband signed up as room parent. Apparently he was the only dad in the whole school, so he is called a Room Mom 😂 I know it annoys him a teensy bit but I find it hilarious and I know he wouldn't want a separate title, other than maybe Room Dad or Room Parent instead.