911 Operators Share Their Stupidest Calls, And It's Too Embarrassing To Read

Lady called 911 because someone called her a whore.
Her words (*translated): "I'm calling 'cuz they're calling me a whore and no man has ever f*cked me!"
Dispatcher: "Ma'm... Do you have an emergency?"
Lady: "They're calling me a whore and calling me things!"
Dispatcher: "..."
Lady: "And they're being mean! I need someone to come!"
Dispatcher: "...Okay, we'll... sigh We'll send an officer..."
Lady: "Uh-huh! hangs up"

One was a very drunken college girl who was sobbing because she was so drunk and so cold that she was shivering and she couldn't get her house key into her door.

Guy swallowed a light bulb and a battery hoping to get a script for narcotics.

I've had someone call 911 to know how long to smoke a brisket.

Once got 911 a call asking if our refrigerator was running.. Indeed it was.

I had a lady call 911 because she put her credit card the wrong way in a parking meter and the lettering of her name had gotten the card stuck in the card reader. She wasn't too please when I advised her it wasn't an emergency and she needed to call the service number on the parking meter.

I got a call once from a lady asking for a ride from the grocery store. She wasn't In danger or stranded.

Got a call once of an empty wheelchair by a business. No one was around the wheelchair or calling for help, it was just sitting by a business so the caller wanted an officer to check it out.

Paramedic here. Got the call for difficulty breathing. That's obviously a big deal, so we book it over there with the ambulance and fire engine as an all-hands on deck deal in case this goes south. Arrived to find an approximately 54 year old female patient absolutely SURROUNDED by cigarette butts, ash, and empty packs. When asked if she felt the difficulty breathing may have been from her recent and obvious chain smoking, she said no. She ended up feeling better and didn't want to go. What a surprise.

Not a 911 operator but a friend is. A guy called in asking when someone was going to come pick up a bucket of possums. He had a bucket of baby possums and wanted someone from the sheriffs office to come get it. And yes, it was Florida.

I've had someone call 911 report that their trunk wasn't opening and they wanted to know what to do about it.

Toe pain at 3am on a Saturday night.

Apparently there's this wild turkey near one of the backroads near the interstate for the past few weeks. We get about 3-4 calls a day about it.

Someone had a bug crawl into their ear while he was sleeping.

I once had a 999 call from a guy working at a station, reporting a woman who was standing on a train platform and peeing onto the track.

I can tell you the dumbest call I've ever been dispatched to, it was for a women who had had a splinter in her finger for three days. It was 10:30 at night and we got held over from our shift because of this call. We took her to the hospital and she asked us to drop her in the waiting room. I wanted to scream.

To ask if they can legally own a monkey.

A fire captain's (from a different city) son stubbed his toe on a cement bench and had us call him an ambulance so we could take him to the hospital.

A woman has been calling for years to complain about white boxes in her yard that emit radio waves. At night, someone comes and moves them around in her yard.

Dispatcher ####, do you have an emergency?
Yes, is ther a 24hr supermarket in the area?