"I'm 68 And Totally Alone": 50 People Share What It's Like Being Seniors

There are millions and billions who are of your age or even older who feel lonely. Does it matter to you? If not, you can’t expect your loneliness to matter to them. But, if you reach out to any one or more of them, you will get over your loneliness and also help others to get them over their loneliness.

Reach out to other lonely people. You will no more feel lonely.

My wife and I live in a retirement village. I sympathise with you on being lonely but we have been here for 2 and a half years and are surrounded by friends and acquaintances we never new. We have many friends who are single having lost their partners. There are so many functions and get togethers where we all join in and enjoy life. We feel safe and secure and it’s more of a lifestyle than just a house. We thoroughly enjoy our life here now and tell all our friends and family to think about doing the same. Many singles are now living a defacto relationship with someone they met in the village. I’m 75 and am one of the youngest residents my wife 73. We are not alone in saying it’s the best move we ever made.

I never thought I would end up this way. My daughter's rarely visit, I have no real friends and I am feeling bitterness sneaking in. I thought everything would get better once I quit drinking- all would fall into place. Quite the contrary! I can't find a reason for me… Don't give up your hope . You have reached out, that's a great start.

Have you thought about getting pen pals. I rediscovered the joy of writing letters over a year ago. I've made some amazing new friends.

Trust me we care; at least I do and like the recent 38 year old who responded, some of us DO care.

I am 62 and I am also having a somewhat lonely life, but counting myself very lucky I still have a formal job to 65. I also have grand children that punctuate my loneliness.

Anyway, back to you story I have a few suggestions that may help you. 1. If you have grandchildren just call their parents and ask to talk to the kids; over time the parents might agree that you meet the kinds and gradually bond with them, even allow sleepovers. 2. At 63 you are not over the cliff to take walks in the park or road. Who knows, regular walks may lead you to meeting someone that may break a conversation that may lead to friendship(

3. DIY- dismantly the old Iron (eg) and visit the internet on how you can repair it safely. This exploit might extend to something else like changing your car tyres, repairing those broken windows ( of course with help dorm the internet). But do get confirmations from professionals that might assist quite safely without exploiting you financially. 4. Get in touch with people over the internet that may share your predicament.

The scope is limitless, but don't pust it least you scare the birds away.

Hello,

I’m 69 and rowing right behind you. You are thinking thoughts that make you suffer. Now, this moment, is lacking nothing. Look outside at all the beauty, and if you find none, make some. There are people needing company all over. Take some baked goods to one of them. When you catch yourself thinking you are lonely, notice the thought, have compassion for it, and take it as a reminder to look around you with gratitude. No one else is responsible for or has the power to make you happy. They never did. It’s still on you. I recommend “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, free all over youtube. Very helpful. I’m happy to keep you company, if possible. Let’s see what we can do.

I can understand. I live alone But I have a pet. I don't know your circumstances, but if you live in a flat ( apt) you may be allowed a pet bird. It makes things much better, something to get you out of bed in the morning, something to talk to. I'm disabled and pretty much housebound, but I read, watch TV, and Quora helps too. I worked in the RSPCA charity shop for a year after my husband died, that was 11 years ago, until my disability forced me to leave, but I made some good friends. Please don't allow yourself to become isolated and depressed.

You have 2 choices in life. Be happy or be sad. You are in control of your life. If you are lonely and don't want to be then you have to do something about it. 72 yrs old is not really that old. You have so much you can contribute to life. Get a calendar and start filling it up with activities if you are still active then join a sport. If not, volunteer at a local hospital. You're in this world for a reason, you just have to put aside your own feelings and get involved with life again. The world needs you.

The best you can really do to help with your loneliness (fastest way too) is buy a pet whether that be a goldfish, dog, a cat or all of the above. You know, something that’s innocent, alive and aware that can keep you company. Something to talk to and or cuddle with.

The next step is to get a Hobbie, find out what that is and utilize that during your spare time.

3rd step, work part or Full time somewhere and be as social as you can be. You may get rejected and maybe alot but perhaps you could make a meaningful friend and or acquaintances that way.

You can also take some classes that you may enjoy like yoga, golf, general fitness class, an art class.

You can also find activities to do with random people on a website called meetup.

You pretty much “follow” or join the group. You'll get a notification that someone is hosting an event for the group whether that be hiking, painting, drinks etc. And that's pretty much all you can do.

Needless to say, you're not alone in your loneliness, plenty of us feel extremely alone.

Myself, I'm 31. Lost touch with all of my friends. I only have my pets and spouse for company. Is it enough? Hardly. I work all the damn time so I'm isolated majority of the time from receiving some company. I also feel I am way too busy to invest in connections. But you can do it ! Especially if you're retired. Which I'm guessing you are. Good luck !

I’m sorry you feel lonely, loneliness can be crippling and miserable - so yes, it matters to me. I am not that much younger than you and I would hate to feel the same.

But, in the nicest possible way, that’s all the sympathies you’ll get from me. Buckle-up, what follows is for you:

At 63, you have hopefully many years ahead. You have to grasp life by the throat, look it in the eye and take your future into your own hands.

If it is company you crave, YOU have to reach out and make it happen. Invite someone you know for coffee and cake (host it or go to a cafe). If it goes well, do it again and see if it becomes a regular thing.

If it’s shared endeavours you want, find a club or an event you can go to - the first time walking into somewhere alone is hard - but so what? It’s hard - but is it the hardest thing you’ve ever done? You’ll be pleased on two levels, firstly that you did it and secondly you’ve done something with other people. Then go a few more times.

If it’s mental stimulation you need, join an adult learning class or go to a series of talks - again, you’ll be there with others who want to learn or know the same things. Go a few times, see it through, smile at people, say “hi, how are you?”

If you’d benefit from a higher level of physical activity then start walking every day. Think if an adult fitness class or yoga or swimming or walking group that caters to beginners might be good for you - commit to going and seeing it through. Look people in the eye, say “hi, how are you?”

If you have religious faith, churches often have community projects, groups, activities you could be uninvolved in - with shared beliefs it could be an “easy-in” for you.

If you are 63, lonely and unable to afford to do any of these or your health doesn’t allow then try reaching out to any charities locally that do befriending or similar. If you ARE physically able, why don’t you become a befriender yourself - you already know how it feels to be lonely and visiting others can often show us how much we have and to be grateful for it.

So - a long message with little sympathy but I hope some helpful suggestions. The rest is up to you: no-one is going to come knocking and do it for you, either get busy living or you’ll just become lonelier and that’s the road to misery, depression and an early death.

Im 31 BUT hear me out! the existential crisis is a real thing and anyone can go through this at any stage or age of their life. May I encourage you to do what heals your inner child! what makes your heart sing! if you're lonely, take up a club and a hobby! there are plenty of things you can do to help you make connections and not feel so lonely! Odds are someone feels the same as you!

In his 90s my Dad told me he was lonely. Since I lived in another country and couldn’t be with him on a daily basis, I suggested he try to make friends in the home where he lived. He answered that he does but they keep dying. I suggested that he might get a ham radio. When he asked me why, I told him that he could talk to people all around the world. He answered, “Why would I want to talk to them?!”

I understand his dilemma now that I’m about to turn 80. Nonetheless, I intend to seek out my own types of company and other ways to alleviate loneliness: keeping in touch with local and Facebook friends plus famIly in other provinces; TV; books; local events at museums joining a club of people with shared interests, libraries and organizations to belong to; email/X, etc.. Books and magazine subscriptions will help, too, as well as TV and the internet. In addition, I already spend time on a walking pad in front of the TV and plan to continue; getting outside when the weather is good; keeping a lookout for acting/extra work through a union I belong to; being in touch with or instigating contact with neighbours, and volunteer work. My Dad isolated himself because either he didn’t know about or have any interest in what was outside his immediate residence or he expected his children to be available all the time. I understand and empathize (and even feel sorry that I wasn’t living closer to him) with his loneliness but one can decide to stay in a shell or to reach out to what one’s community offers to old folks or people who might take up a cause or explore what’s available in their surroundings. Hobbies are a great idea, too. Often a hobby will lead to meeting interesting compatible people. I’m planning to keep writing and hopefully having my work published. I also intend to resurrect the visual art I majored in at university.

Loneliness doesn’t depend on age. The loneliest time of my life was when I was an adolescent and I wouldn’t want to relive that for anything.

So the advice for loneliness would be the same for anyone at any age. I benefited from understanding I wasn’t alone - loneliness is ubiquitous. It was a shock to me to discover everyone else around me didn’t have perfect lives. Also, it’s very often that loneliness is tied to depression (cause/effect or effect cause - I dunno). Telling your doctor about it is important. They may prescribe something to at least alleviate depression if necessary and from there perhaps suggest some therapy. It’s not hard to find groups of people online or in your community who share your feelings.

Besides group self-help sessions though it’s important to put in the effort to connect to other people. Churches, community centers, online community groups offer all kinds of activities for like-minded people. Learn to knit, power walk, bird watch, any new skill. My mother found a thriving community in her government-supported seniors apartment building that was open to anyone in the neighbourhood. Bingo anyone? Bake sales? Their Halloween parties were renowned!

Volunteering is also a wonderful way to reconnect with people, both those you help and other volunteers. Take a moment and think about what you like, what gives you joy. Do you like animals? Volunteer at a local shelter for dog walking. Cat person? Check to see if they need help building feral cat shelters. I find there’s so much need out there and people are eager for your help.

Last word: I’m 72 and I find the older I get the more options there are. Who’da thought of chair-yoga forty years ago? So many government programs are now focused on an aging population. Most volunteers and community group members are seniors. And you have something the young’uns don’t - all kinds of TIME. :)

So take heart, and get out there. The world is waiting for you.

Not really, I am 76 and alone but don’t choose to do anything about it. If you don’t like it make a plan to change it. What can you do? How often do you leave the house? What would make you leave more often? What would solve loneliness? Would talking to children help or only adults? Do you need real conversation or just being near people?

After my divorce in my 30s I did not want to be alone. I joined a gym and worked out hours a day but they were closed at night. After they closed I played pool at the apartments. Weekends at night was nothing to do so I went fishing off a dock for rock cod.

Now if I wanted to be near people I could join a gym, buy a dog to walk at the dog park, go to the senior center for cards and lunch, go to casinos to play slots, take up bingo, get a volunteer job, start a business, watch some preteens after school, all people on the phone, go to a chat in a game I play, learn to use Zoom. I could go to a meetup group, buy nothing group, have yard sales. I could try online dating then have something to talk about to people about how bad it was. I could get a boyfriend, go out to eat and go fishing with him. Or I could stay home and complain about being alone.

I am 85 years old. My wife is a little younger. We are never lonely and we live in moderation, Our daughter is married with her own family, I have brothers and sisters and friend and I find that I am the one who occasionally phone the others. If I do not phone periodically, they all phone back asking why I did not phone,

I have so much to do, and occupy myself, with the home requirements my workshop, making toys for my grandson, hosting some students who have difficulty with their mathematics, , and physics and engineering subjects, There is so much to keep me busy within our home. To-day and yesterday we went swimming in the sea. I was talking to a variety of people, from children to those who were 90 years old, I guess we are very lucky. I always put an effort in keeping company . When young, working at Chatham Dockyard, I remember before going to University, I asked one young woman called, Jill Allen , with whom I danced, whether she would mind if I wrote to her, and she said, “ I do not mind, but I shall not write back !” I told her that I accepted that situation, and would expect nothing in return. After about eight years of writing to her, where she never wrote back, but always answered my phone calls, I told her that I was returning home to my own country, and that I shall not write to her any more……………… to which she answered,———-” No, no , no, do please proceed to write to me, as you are the only one who keeps me company!” I always answered telephone calls, even from those colleagues who made careers serving on oil tankers, and often told me, “ Carmel, I am never lonely when alone, as wherever ocean or country I am in the world, I know that you will answer my phone call,”

I guess that I am a lucky and fortunate person, but I it seems that I do put effort in making and keeping company of those who did not want to write to me , not phone me up. My wife pulls my leg as every time we go out, as I somehow start a conversation with any stranger using small talk. I held the hands of about a dozen people who were in hospital, and did not have any visitors, I learned all this while abroad , when I had a motorcycle incident broke my jaw and was unconscious for about four days, and had to spend about six months at East Grinstead Hospital in Kent. No one visited me, and so I had to seek the company of others, where even doctors and nurses shared a joke or two. When I left hospital to go back to Chatham, a consultant doctor approached me and told me that I was to keep company to a young woman who was to go back to Chatham, and she had no one to support her, The doctor told me that the young woman suffered from some moods where she could lose her senses and control, I was scared. The doctor told me what to do if that happened, I took the responsibility of accompanying this young woman to Chatham, where a family member awaited her at the train station, I was glad that young woman was fine, and all I did was to offer her my silent company, and she just wanted to talk, and I just listened. Our eyes met often and she knew that I offered her security, in my relative silence,

Lending an ear to others seem to be accepted as being good company even if I do not utter one word. I held my parents hand on their death beds and that was the best I could do. I suppose I have been a fortunate person in being alone but never lonely on many occasions and I make up for it when there is someone around, While residing in England for fifteen years, I spent 15 Christmases on my own seeing company in ballroom dancing and then returning to my meager residence which on one occasion was a cold attic in Gillingham. However the Company at Chatham, Rochester, Durham, Newcastle Upon Tyne, South moor more than made up for the one year I lived alone , but not lonely in an Attic and having to use outside toilets at around 1954. It was all experience that taught me about real life, that you need to help others without expecting any returns, but it is nice when you

Unfortunately, the majority of people are busy with their own lives, whether that is helping their family and taking care of immediate needs or frippery or something in between.

At my loneliest, I was depressed, I was dumped by a friend, and i felt unworthy to have friends. And I was only 26! I felt like I was Just a girl “with problems.” But I projected a lot as everyone has problems. I should have been more welcoming and receptive to those who were friendly instead of listening to this internal monologuing.

You probably still have a lot to offer. Do you still work? Can you drive? Walk? If you are able bodied, I would encourage taking up one volunteer cause for those in more need than you (homeless, soup kitchens, single mothers, disability) plus one hobby that brings you joy in case other people's hardships are draining. Or occasionally go out for lunch with another volunteer.

If you do not drive, but you are still fairly healthy, determine if there are any good places to invest your time a short (safe!) walk or bus ride away. If you cannot do much physical work, maybe you can go through training for a suicide or crisis pregnancy hotline.

If any working and volunteering would be too difficult, but you would like company, contact local churches and senior organizations.

If these options cannot work, it may be time to look at another living situation more suited to a retiree/ assisted living. Maybe consider moving closer to family or another place with more to offer. (Note: DO NOT move close to family unless you are sure, unless there are several to help out because otherwise one pregnancy, death, move, etc. will leave you with no help. Don't move close to them if you're not sure. Don't move close if the place overall has nothing to offer.)

I know these decisions are hard, but I think there is more in life for you. Praying for your next decades to be rich and fulfilling!

It matters to me, very much. I’m not lonely, but I’ve been bedbound for 5 years and now 63. It’s a struggle, but I’ve involved myself in ministry and it gives me a purpose and a sense of meaning to my life.

Message me anytime if you wish!

OK, learn to dance (don't do it to fall in love). I learned to swing and country dance after 60 I'm now 76. Learn a new interest (I DO like computers, but many hobbies exist). Take an art class at a college. Teach something at a school. All with a purpose of meeting people.

Join a non-profit or a food bank. You will see many people in worse shape but you may feel better helping them. Many non profits exist. Some would say join a (reputable only) church or other civic group of your choice. Always go in with an open mind but also be sooooo careful. Don't use your money to buy a friendship. If they want your money, well, they want your money.

Always plan some things you want to do or try, even if you don't end up doing them (yes, a bucket list).

Write a book, join a book club, join a group that critiques or writes books. Join a sailing club. You don't even need to know how to sail, you will learn.

Still, be careful, no group is perfect, and you might also be looking at your problems with fear. Find a lifestyle counselor if you need to sort out things.

Enough said? Maybe hard to start, but, once you begin, well you won't know until you start.

There are people that care and would love to meet you. I'm 73 and would invite you for coffee if I could. You have lots of friends that you haven't met yet. Please don't give up.

I'm 62. Twice divorced. I've come to the reality that depending on someone else for my happiness is a fruitless endeavor. I don't attempt to develop meaningful relationships anymore. I'm content with casual acquaintances and doing what I want. It's very comfortable for me now.. But that's just me.