"I'm 68 And Totally Alone": 50 People Share What It's Like Being Seniors

I'm 70 years old. My precious wife of 41 years died this past January. I still feel like my world exploded.

My kids and grandkids stay in touch and try to keep me from being lonely. But in reality when they go home, I am still alone. In an empty house that is filled with memories and love.

I have friends and I have family. But I have never felt so alone in my whole life.

I'm a disabled veteran and for years my wife went to every doctors appointment with me.

We were together 24/7 for years.

I have decided that there's just no way this gets better. I am going to live with this loneliness for the rest of my life.

I have to say that the loneliness is nothing compared to the agony of having the other half of my heart ripped out as I stood helpless beside her hospital bed and holding her hand. That little woman coded 6 times before she gave in.

The 4th time they got her back, the doctor asked me if she coded again did I want them to resuscitate her. I said no, I don't want to keep putting her through that.

She coded again for the 5th time. The nurse standing across her bed from me and one of my daughters said she had no pulse and no BP . She started to go outside the room to get the doctor when suddenly there was a single beep from the monitor. She had a pulse. The nurse said it was from the epinephrine they had used to resuscitate her.

Her pulse climbed to 114 and her BP started to rise. It rose to 142/58 .I looked at the nurse and she said, this isn't the epinephrine, she came back.

The doctor and the whole code team were standing in the hall outside her open door. When the monitors started beeping by themselves he came and stood behind me.

I leaned over and kissed her forehead. I squeezed her head and told her. “You are my heart. You have been since the first time I saw your beautiful spirit. I don't ever want you to go, but even more I don't want you to suffer. If you have to go, I'll understand.

The beeping slowed down and gently stopped. She had coded for the sixth and final time. I could literally feel her leaving and for several minutes I thought that I might die too.

I turned and saw the doctor and he took my arm in his hand. He said, I have never seen anything like this happen before. He said she fought harder to stay than anyone I have ever seen.

As I write this through my tears, I have shared my feelings with strangers like I have never done before. I just don't!

But this thread touched me. I wasn't looking for my angel when I found her.

My life was a sorry state and when I asked her out, she looked me right in the eyes and said, I don't date drunks.

She caused me to change my life that very day. I don't have to tell you how the story turned out because I told you how it ended first.

I have been sober for almost 43 years now.

No matter what may happen in the rest of my life, this loneliness will live deep in my soul because she has gone from this walk and from my life.

Because she looked into my heart and gave me a chance, I have known love in ways that I never even dreamed possible.

So I tell each of you. If you are lonely you can change that. You don't have to go hunting love. If you let it and you give it a reason it will find you.

Remember this, you can't give what you don't have. So, put a smile on your face and go out and meet new people and make new friends. Allow yourself to feel joy and happiness and most of all learn to love yourself so that if and when love finds you, you will have stocked up on love to return. After all, love only works it's magic when you give it away.

So give you some love to share with those around you. And someday when you look back you will be amazed at just how much you loved and how much you were loved.

I am 80 years old , I’ve got some medical problems, which makes it hard to go out and have fun. My salvation has been my dog… I know it sounds simplistic ,

I don’t know what I would do without him. I never feel lonely, he goes everywhere with me. We go shopping, little walks cause I can’t walk very far. I talk to him and he listens. He’s always making me laugh.. I don’t know if that is something you would consider.. I wish you luck and hope you can find what you need. You are still a young person, so don’t give up..

I'm 71 years old and retired five years ago. I moved 200 miles away to be nearer my daughter. I had only been here one time, to buy my home and I just knew it was a small town in Arkansas. I knew absolutely nobody in this area. Five years later and I know my neighbors, I belong to a wonderful little congregation with many friends there. I got to the local grocery store where there are friendly customers and staff. I have a friend who moved here a year ago and only has maybe two friends. Nobody is going to come to you. Go out and find a church family, join a gym, go for walks, talk to your neighbors. Don't spend your senior years being sad. Enjoy every day you have left. If you lived near me I would be your friend. If you're friendly people remember you. I hope this helps.

I’m 67. I have a friend who was always telling me how much she enjoyed her senior apartment. Finally I did it. I got rid of most of my stuff and I have a nice one bedroom apartment. I don’t have to worry about yard work, or snow, or fixing things.

But the real blessing is that you can be alone when you want to, or you can participate in all the goings on…

Morning coffee hour

Card games

Working puzzles together

Pot luck dinners

Pizza parties

People to go out to dinner with

Or go to the thrift stores, or whatever.

And there is exercise equipment.

You’ll make all sorts of friends.

If you need a ride to a doctor appointment or car repair there’s always someone who will take you.

And its not one of those fancy assisted living places. No meals provided. Its just an over 55 apartment.

And since I’ve gotten rid of so much, its less for my daughter to deal with later on.

Actually, having so many people around took some getting used to.

My friend was right. It was a great move.

I'm 38 years old and am so unbelievably lonely that I can't go a week without getting a bit teary eyed because of it. Clearly if I knew how to beat the loneliness, I would have.

But it's the second part of your question that prompted me to reply. Because yes, people DO care. We may not know one another but I care a great deal. Seeing or hearing about others struggling with the same feelings that have haunted me my entire life is heart wrenching for me. ESPECIALLY the loneliness. Because I know all too well the feeling of just desperately wanting some kind of human connection. Of feeling like you could drop dead right then and tfr only person who would even notice is the guy who had to clean up your dead body. It's an agony I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. So, again, yes - I care. It may not mean much, or anything at all, even, but just know I do care. If you'd like, I'd be happy to exchange emails so you can feel free to contact me anytime you're feeling lonely. Just lmk in a reply to this (I swear I'll try to remember to read the comments on here)

If you're not interested, that's fine too. I just don't want you to think you're alone.

Yes I understand, I'm 68 and totally alone. My best friend my cat just died, all my girl friends live across the country and rarely comucate . But I'm trying to find something, no car so I can't travel so I'm working on my education on line. All I can do right now. Nearest town 10 miles away.

I have been there, I found myself alone, my son no longer needed me to be around for him anymore. And I watched a lot of TV! I did a few things I shouldn't have done. ( I don't recommend). Got back on track, watched more TV, did a lot of soul searching.

Decided to go back to work, part-time. I was very apprehensive at first I hadn't worked and almost 17 years. Just a little convenience store job. I didn't want it to interfere with my disability check. Turns out it was the best thing that I could have done for myself! Got to know my neighbors, all the people that lived around me. After working there for 2 and 1/2 years they had my back when I needed some of them. And made a lot of friends there. I highly recommend you do something simple that takes your mind off of yourself. Be it work with animals, help another senior citizen, give somebody a ride to a doctor's appointment, walk somebody's dog, they're a myriad of things you can do for free and things you can do to make money. You may find you just meet somebody that you click with.

I am almost 62. It sucks doesn’t it? Does it matter? Sadly no! When you grow old you are no longer wanter or needed. I was in business, volunteered , had party’s , friends. Family reunions were at my house . I did the work. I was supper mom. The kids were at my house. I loved it. But once the time is gone they are gone. Do I sound bitter? Maybe ! I decided to make myself happy and turn negative to positive. I will have slip up days but it has helped. Take a day go out to eat. Go to the Library. Ask if places take volunteers. You are on your way. Check in with one old friend a week. Set goals. It’s up to you. Change life!

I am 53 and have been single since my husband died almost 26 years ago. I did adopt and raise 2 kids but they grew up. One moved far away and the other loves close but I still don't see him as much as I would like. My sister, who is my best friend, also live halfway across the country.

That being said, I have become an introvert & love having my own space. Sometimes I get upset when my coworkers seem so much closer to each other than they are to me, but most of the time I am okay with it. I have found some hobbies that I love, I have pets (those make it a LOT easier) and I try to keep my family ties as close as I am comfortable with.

So, my suggestion, adopt a dog or cat or hamster or snake, find a new hobby, find ways to get out of your house. Oh, and try to see the positive around you. I have found that when I am depressed, I get grumpy and people pull back from me, so I do my best to be positive. Another thing you could try is to find a church, a book club or a ladies group nearby.

Good luck & I hope you find yourself less lonely in the future.

Im 61 years old, expat living abroad very far from my family, my kids don’t contact me anymore thanks to my ex-wife, have only a few friends and living alone. Do I feel lonely?, sometimes, yes. BUT, a very big BUT, I have a lot of time to enjoy myself!, I ride motorcycles, play instruments, play games (yes, you can do that after 60) , go out in long walks enjoying nature, go alone at night to bars and talk with people from all walks of life. I really don’t care too much if my life matters to somebody or if my existence is relevant to this world, only important thing is to realize that your life matters to yourself. My advice, keep yourself busy, spend your time alone enjoying what you have now, accept the fact that loneliness is inside your head, you are creating that feeling, not your situation.

You are not seen anymore. Once they needed you for everything, now they look through you, not to you. Yes, it happens to us all, once we are older. I’ve taken it upon myself to say hello to the elderly. Take up a conversation and offer get a beverage or sit in the park with them. Remember, if they are older than you, you are the one that matters to them. Be a friend and get a friend and you won’t be lonely anymore!

Yes I understand where you are coming from. I'm 80 years old and live in a nursing home. I'm very lonely. I try to stay active but it just doesn't happen that way. You can text me anytime. I live in Nebraska. I would like to be your friend. My name is Mary. Going to close for now. I have an ECT treatment in the morning, early, so I will close for now. I take those treatments because of my depression. I will put you in my prayers.

Evidently it matters to you.

Unfortunately, this is the lot of many seniors, especially these days. It used to be that multigenerational families lived together, whereas in modern times, everybody is on their own.

I don’t know what to tell you because I’m sure you’ll find, as I did, that it’s difficult to blend your life with someone else at this stage. And once you are living alone for a time, you develop habits that make it that you likely won’t want to after awhile. So you learn to be happy alone, and become set in those ways, or you become miserable alone, and develop those habits.

I tend to want to enjoy my last days, despite my lot, and not worry about it so much.

I’m a 72 year old woman.

EDIT: I am not the poster, not the lonely one. So please write your own answers to the original poster not to me. Thank you.

I don’t understand why people in their 60s complain about being old and alone. I’m 65 and lived alone all my life. I continue to work and will continue to do so until I cannot which probably won’t be for at least another ten years. There is more to life than being in a relationship or having children. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why people choose to have a family, but it’s possible to have a fulfilling life without one. It’s all about making healthy choices, having many interests and learning to love life in all areas.

I don’t think it matters to anyone.

I’m 68 and I’m less lonely than I was at 63, but that’s because I reached out to try to connect to people. I did so even though I had no hope of connection. I knew I didn’t matter to anyone. But I didn’t care. I decided I’d keep on trying to find people who I might come to matter to, despite knowing it was impossible.

I think I got lucky. I feel like I don’t matter and I know that feeling will never go away. Yet, for no reason, someone chose to come live with me. I was 65 at the time. I drove from Philadelphia to Chicago to get them and they and all their stuff fit in my Prius. We’ve been living together ever since. It’s a miracle!

I met them by writing about myself. I told the truth about my life — all the bad things I’ve done and all the people I’ve hurt and everything. I was open about all that.

I didn’t matter to anyone, but somehow, I’ve come to matter to someone. Perhaps it’s because I had no expectation that I could matter to anyone, and I kept on being myself. I don’t know. It doesn’t make any sense, but I’m grateful for it.

I retired at 65 and immediately started looking for volunteer opportunities. I don’t have any real friends and my family all live far from where I live. Getting involved with other things is important. I joined the Civil Air Patrol, got involved with a couple of emergency response organizations and volunteered with a local museum. I’ve heard a lot of people talk about going back to work because of boredom…. not me, I love every minute I am retired and stay busy at the things I’ve always wanted to do. Don’t sit around and think about how lonely you are. Get out there and make life happen! I can promise you, nobody is going to come get you and make you do things with one exception…. buy a boat and you’ll have more friends than you know what to do with….. You are on your own but you have the power to control your own life. Find a club that follows your interest.

I don't want to give you cheap advice and I am sure you have already tried a lot of things. But I also know that loneliness can drag you ever deeper down into depression where you finally stop trying. Please don't stop. There are other people who are lonely, too. There are people, lonely or not, who would love to know you if they knew you existed. Where I live, many people your age volunteer for something - beginning with something as simple as serving Coffee at the after-church-gathering or the seniors’ club, where you can also hear talks in a variety of topics, play cards, do suitable sports etc. If that is unattractive, primary schools are very happy to have “reading grannys" who come once a week to read to a child and practice reading with this child. And lots of other things. Of course I realise it is much, much harder if you are unable to move around freely. In that case, where I live, the church may (!) be able to help, whether you are religious or not.

As I said, I am sure you have tried a lot of things. This is just what came to my mind.

If you feed the birds, you matter to them. If you care for a beloved pet, you matter to them. If you treat the check out person at a grocery kindly, look them in the eye and thank them or ask them how they are doing, you matter to them. If you give a homeless person something to eat or a few dollars and see them as a fellow human being, you matter to them. I believe if you do little things every chance you get that matters, then you will find what you are looking for was in you, not outside of you.

It matters to me.

It's been a hard couple years for .me too. I just decided that all my sadness was just wasting my.life. I am the only one that can change that.

I started slow. Started writing down the things/people/activities that set me up for a downward spiral. Started eliminating those things.

I found things to do that made me happy,.or at least didn't set me on a bad path.

I started moving. I started walking my dogs more. I worked in the yard. I fired the pool lady and started doing it myself. I got more involved at my job. Found people who were a.positive influence.

I also practiced .meditation of sorts. Kind of my own style, but it clears my brain of stuff that was just sitting in .my head.

No one can make you happier, but you. You have to want to feel better though.

Was it easy? It wasn't. At first it was a struggle for me. But I got tired of feeling sad all the time.

I'm 66 and I don't know how much life I have left. Made up my mind to stop wasting what I've got left.

I feel better. I still have days that aren't great, but they are fewer.

Life's short.

Sending you good thoughts and a virtual hug.

I am also 63. I am mostly retired but clean and manage my 2 airbnb's. I work a few hrs a week as a home caregiver. I also have a 15 yr old son. I exercise 3–4 days a week at the gym or walk/run 4 miles or take a pretty hard exercise class. I have a couple of good friends and great neighbors. I can't say I am lonely because I kind of chose my quiet lifestyle. I worked in the “ rat race” all my life and never got to enjoy my home. My biggest problem is that I feel guilty for having time to relax and sleep late. I don't have to rush around and for some reason I feel guilty about that or that I'm not producing. I am lonely for the years when my son was young and we had so much fun. He's a great teenager but has his friends now and doesn't want to do alot of things with his momma anymore. 100% normal and healthy, but it's an adjustment for me. I'm trying to prepare for later years when I may need help and have properties I can sell if need be. I do not want to be a burden on my son and if I have advanced alzheimers or a painful cancer or disease he has his instructions to get hospice and start the morphine. Loneliness is not a fear,but I am a bit obsessed about becoming unable to care for myself or lose my mind or being in chronic pain. I don't have a husband and that is ok. I haven't seen many husband's able to be caregivers anyway. I have a couple of friends that would help me a bit and visit me. I am lonely in the fact that my son is growing up and doesn't need me as much. It has been a wonderful journey raising him as an older mother.