Someone Asks Childfree People Over 40 How They Feel About Not Having Kids, Gets 30 Honest Answers

My wife and I decided not to have kids. We are 42 and 45 years old. We have found there is a social stigma--that is kind of frustrating. People assume there is something wrong with us, or, the most annoying thing, "oh thats okay, there is still time..." Plus, we basically have nothing in common with our previous friends who are all balls deep in diapers and day care etc-- when we do see our friends, all they talk about is their kids with each other etc. Its been really hard to find people to hang out with that don't have little kids at our age. The last bit which pisses me off is when I explain to my friends why we don't want to do it-- A) Money. We have plenty now to live in a nice house, in a nice area and do nice things- if we had a kid we'd be broke. B) Time and Business- both of us run our own businesses and have spent a lot of time making it this far, neither of us are willing to give it up. C) The fact that we think the world is headed for a bit of disaster with climate change, over population, shortages of water and energy etc--just don't want to bring a child into this right now- and D) At this point I would be 60 when my kid graduated high school, just don't have the energy to do it right and frankly no desire. -- We get from people either we are selfish or "oh you'll figure it out." Yeah-- I've seen my friends figure it out- Someone quits their job because day care is almost as much as their salary, people get tired and fat, then in debt, then divorced with a 7 and 5 year old. Maybe I am a negative a*****e, or a realist but mostly I think misery loves company and people are jealous that we are happy, financially secure, fit, and get to sleep in on Saturdays. Our realistic problem right now is decided how we can get a beach house to retire in.

My great aunt and uncle never had kids. They both retired by 50 and go on vacation really regularly all over the world, roughly every 2 months. Live in the beautiful countryside of Scotland, with not another neighbour in sight. Will regularly visit my dad and aunt, and seem to be happy. Although, who knows what goes on behind closed doors. Their retirement lifestyle has made a serious case for myself not to have kids.

I liked the idea of having kids (but it wasn't a deal breaker for me), my wife absolute did not want kids.

25 years later and we're very happy with our decision. Don't get me wrong; I tend to spoil any kids I get around if I have the chance. But not having kids has allowed us to travel more, to save more, and not to have to think about what to do with the kids when we want to go out to dinner.

(Though truth be told I'd probably make one of those obnoxious doting fathers who show everyone my kid's pictures. I'm not regretful; I think I'd be just as happy, but my life would be unrecognizably different.)

I am 47. I chose not to have kids, and married someone who can't have kids.

We did adopt one of our nephews but, and I want to be clear on this, we did it not because we wanted a kid, but because he needed a better home. He was 17 when we adopted him, and He is now 19 and moved out late last year.

I work from home, and our home is happy and often full of laughter and all that other Hallmark s**t. It's a good life, and we both feel fulfilled.

Occasionally, we have people ask us what the secret is to our happiness, and honestly we don't know, but kids are not really part of it.

Our 20th anniversary is coming up later this week.

I never wanted children, perhaps because I babysat a lot in my young teens and I couldn't see why people did this on purpose. My husband didn't really care one way or the other, but I knew it would basically be my responsibility to work full time and raise kids. We had moved away from where our parents lived, and I would have no support system. I had no desire for that to be my life. Some of our friends have so many problems with their children that I don't think they will be much help to them when they need it. My only regret is it would be nice to have a grandchild to pass our money to should we have any left at the end, and I do worry who will assist me or my husband when one of us is alone, but having a child is no guarantee there. We were able to retire in our early sixties and have a nice life.

I'm fifty, no kids (no spouse). Absolutely no regrets, never wanted them (never really wanted a spouse either). Unlike others here, I don't love kids; babies stress me out and younger kids are pretty annoying. I find kids most interesting when they reach about 12 or so and you can see them start becoming adults.

When people (mostly relatives) used to ask me about it, I'd be like "don't jinx me!". Now they don't bother asking, I guess I'm old enough the question is kinda moot. Never got my tubes tied so it was always kinda a worry but I'm actually glad I always had the option if I had changed my mind (everyone changes so much over the years, way more than you realize when you're twenty and know everything). A couple of times I day dreamed about having kids with some guy I was infatuated with but I realized I didn't really want kids for their sake and that would be a horrible reason to have some.

Mid-40s here with mid-30s gf. We're loving it. We travel, we have a little dog that gets spoiled, we visit our various siblings' children and come off like heroes at Christmas.

I'm 48. We've been together almost 30 years and never wanted kids. We made up some excuses for family but the truth is that we just didn't want to.

And we LOVE our decision. We borrow our siblings children (three on her side, two on mine) 2-3 times a year and we see them on holidays and that's MORE than enough. Lots of love on both sides of our family and in our home.

People say that our two dogs are our children but that's not true and we don't think of them that way. They are no more our children than our television or our cars are. (Don't get me wrong, we love the dogs, but we don't believe for a second that they are a substitute that we've chosen.)

Best decision we ever made.

Turned 40 this year. My nieces and nephews are cool as hell, but I'm very, very glad that I don't have children of my own. It doesn't seem worth it to me, I have exactly zero desire to take on that additional expense/responsibility/etc. for the next 18+ years. My girlfriend and I have been together about 5 years. She's only 30, but she doesn't want kids either. Works out nicely.

Only weird thing people say to me about it is "you'd make a really great father." Which is probably true; If I have a responsibility, then I will handle that responsibility to the best of my ability. I don't think I have great "fatherly instincts," by any means, but I do have two excellent role models to emulate in the form of my own father and my little brother. However, I don't have any kind of desire to do it, and if somehow pressed into it by circumstances... I could see myself becoming resentful. No kid deserves that.

We're nearing retirement, (68 & 66), and decided not to have kids for a number of reasons- wife's career, money, *very* different views on child rearing, etc. I wouldn't say we have no regrets- occasionally we'll see and spend time with our young friends with kids, and there are those "what if" moments. On the other hand, we'll see and hear about families with kids whose lives are just turned upside down by really bad experiences. And it's not always associated with the parents making bad choices- we see people who have done all the "right" things and have had lousy outcomes, and others who have just screwed up time and time again, and the kids turn out great, so there just seems to be such a random aspect to it that it's kind of baffling

All that being said, we're very comfortable with our decision. We're financially comfortable, we travel quite a bit, and although we live far from immediate family, our young friends have kids who we can spend time with, baby sit on occasion, and get just enough kid time to keep us happy.