The dating expert noted that it really depends on each individual man, how they perceive fatherhood. "Some men see it as a truly amazing thing to become a dad, some see it as just a normal part of life, and others hate it. It really is different for every man and depends on who he is, what he wants from life, the importance he places on family, and what he truly wants to focus on," he said.
"For example: If a man was truly focused on achieving his biggest goals and ambitions in life prior to having children, he will usually continue to focus on that as being the most important thing to him, while also giving time to his children and wife, or girlfriend. If a man didn’t have big goals outside of the relationship prior to having children, his children will often become a huge part or the main part of what he sees as his purpose in life. In other cases, a man will suddenly become ambitious and want to achieve a lot more to ensure that he can provide for his children and give them a better life."
Meanwhile, during a recent interview with Licensed Counselor Suzanne Degges-White, a professor from Northern Illinois University, Bored Panda learned more about nostalgia and gratitude. She explained to us that nostalgia is akin to a ‘superpower’ that helps us feel better in the present by connecting us to the past.
“Nostalgia can help us feel better about ourselves and more in control of current situations if we're able to channel that positivity into concrete actions or a reframed mindset about the present. However, when we begin 'living in the past,' we may be inviting into our lives less than optimal mental wellness and potentially compromised physical wellbeing, too," she said that it’s vital to moderate nostalgia.
"When we succumb to memories of how things 'used to be' and refuse to address the 'what is,' we may find ourselves overwhelmed by our current conditions and less able to manage current challenges," Professor Degges-White said.
"It's often memories of home and the people who surround us that keeps us able to deal with significantly concerning or dangerous conditions. For instance, letters from home can be a lifeline for those who are engaged in warfare far away from what they consider 'home,'" she said.
"It's when we become stuck in our memories of people who have died, places or times in our lives when things were 'easier' or 'better' that invites in the negative effects of nostalgia. When we are unable to make decisions about a current challenge or get stuck in memories of better times from the past, we can sink into a state in which we kind of 'tune out' of the present and ignore very real threats or opportunities in the now."
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The secret to being more grateful for what we have in the present starts by ‘waking up’ and recognizing all of the things that you appreciate in life that surround you right here and now, the professor told Bored Panda.
"It's also helpful to step outside yourself and see how others might see your life. Gratitude can start with the basics—enough food to eat each day, a job that pays you enough to keep a roof over your head, people in your life who care about you and to whom you matter. Recognizing that not everyone in life has been as fortunate as you have and acknowledging your accomplishments is the best way to begin. Making a 'gratitude list' really does help us see our lives in a whole new way if we are committed to acknowledging the way our lives have been touched by success."
