The largest age gap between spouses in world culture is known to be 2,690 years - that's how much older Arwen was than Aragorn at the beginning of "The Lord of the Rings" plot. But in real history, the record age gap is 63 years. In 1927, 81-year-old Civil War veteran John Janeway married 18-year-old Gertrude Grubb and lived with her for a full decade.
Incidentally, the widow outlived him for over six decades, living into the early 21st century. Well, in our story today, told by the user u/RevolutionLanky7704, the age gap turns out to be way smaller - around 30 years. However, even this left the author baffled - and here's why.
More info: Reddit
Different couples have different age gaps - but most people nowadays actually prefer to have partners of their own generations
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post is 22 years old, she came from a foreign country to study at the university, and describes herself as quite a shy person
Image credits: RevolutionLanky7704
Image credits: wirestock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Recently the woman started dating a guy who told he's a bit over 30, and was sweet, flirty and very kind to her
Image credits: RevolutionLanky7704
Image credits: user20119892 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, one day the author found online evidence that her boyfriend was actually nearly 50 years old, thus being even older than her own dad
Image credits: RevolutionLanky7704
The woman was very confused over this - from the one hand, the partner was nice and loving, from the other hand - she really wanted someone younger and not prone to lie to her
The Original poster (OP) describes herself as 22 years old, a university student from another country, and initially struggling to connect with people. Then the woman met a guy who turned out to be quite nice and sweet, and gradually they began a romantic relationship.
This man said he was in his early 30s, and despite being quite fit and athletic, our heroine occasionally noticed wrinkles on his face and other signs of aging. However, we all age differently, so the original poster actually ignored these signs, basking in the warmth of her boyfriend.
He truly surrounded her with care and love - and the OP, who, by her own words, grew up in a rather toxic family, reciprocated his feelings. He was truly charming and flirty, truly took care of her, gave her gifts - but one day, the author found sufficient evidence online to confirm that he wasn't in his early 30s, as he claimed, but almost 50 years old.
In other words, the boyfriend was nearly older than the author's father! No, she's not at all susceptible to ageism, but this is a completely different thing, just admit! After all, this guy essentially lied to her for quite a long time - and where there's no mutual trust, there's no room for true love. So the OP decided to ask netizens for advice - what should she do next?
Image credits: faststocklv / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Interestingly, there have been periods in human history when various age gaps between spouses were acceptable and publicly appropriate. Including even the one we described. However, this study conducted in 2022, based on statistical data from 130 countries, states that today, men in relationships are, on average, 4.2 years older than women.
Being of the same generation is the standard for relationships these days. "Most couples I know say that they feel like they're the same age," Psych Central quotes Dr. Loren Olson, a psychiatrist in Des Moines, Iowa. "We have a chronological age, a psychological age, a physical age, and an intimate age. Age-gap couples are frequently compatible in the latter three."
By the way, around 15 years ago, Danish researchers published quite an interesting study showing that men who date or marry women significantly younger than themselves, live longer. The scientists attribute this to both the positive social and emotional effects and the opportunity for men to have care at the later stages of life. Perhaps that guy also read this study?
In any case, most commenters on the original post noted that the attempt to deceive - even on a relatively simple matter - definitely destroyed the trust between them. Overall, the responders called on the OP to end this relationship. So the author later added that she had decided to break up with her now-ex-boyfriend.
According to the author, the man took it calmly, gently apologized for his deception, and wished her happiness in the future. Well, aside from trying to hide his age, this can indeed be considered decent behavior in an ugly situation… So what do you, our dear readers, think about this tale? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
Most commenters urged the author to break up with this man who literally deceived her - and so she actually did soon after
