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So, a Redditor asked ladies of Reddit to share things that were absolutely offensive to them despite the guy genuinely (seemingly) thinking it’s a compliment. Otherwise they wouldn’t have said it, right?
The post reached 7,000 upvotes and generated a conversation of 4,400 comments.
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If we were to consider this from a psychological perspective, there are three kinds of people: those who think before they speak, those who speak before they think, and those who can do both at an equal speed.
The rarest breed of folks is definitely that last one, and you might not have met any such individual, but they exist, rest assured.
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I knew he meant it as a compliment but ouch.....
It all boils down to how one’s brain and tongue are wired. Human nature expert Andrea Kihlstedt exemplified this with her husband. He’s a thinker before a talker—so much so, in fact, that sometimes whenever Andrea engages him in a conversation and asks him a question, he takes so much time to come back with an answer that she thinks he might not have heard her.
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Well, he did—he was just considering his words before answering carefully. Thoroughly.
Conversely, Andrea also has a friend who speaks before she thinks. Sometimes her speech gets so fast that she begins answering a question that her brain registered halfway through the conversation, but that wasn’t the actual one.
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Those sound like two extremes, but they signify one’s thinking patterns and the way their brain processes information. The easier approach to this is to adapt to it. By that, she means that you can train yourself not to jump in immediately with your response to a response. Which, when you think about it, is a good thing—patience, and not cutting off someone mid-way.
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Some people process their thoughts as they speak while others need to think what to say before they say it. And understanding that in yourself will help you identify the same thing in others.
Ask yourself, do you respond quickly while your mind is still thinking about it? Or do you wait to muster a thought and then execute it with your noise-hole?
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