"Give Me Oddly Specific Parenting Advice. No Wrong Answers"

frozen peas are a perfectly acceptable snack, toddlers love em. Frozen waffles, same
thing. We just caled everything "Elsa ___" and the kids requested it constantly.

Don’t let on to your kids that batteries in toys can be replaced. When the original batteries die, they become “quiet toys” and that’s that.

Avoid Caillou at all costs

When they say a word wrong please record them because you'll miss it when it's gone.

I taught my daughter to drive in the cemetery. Slow winding roads & everyone is already dead.

Park next to the cart return

Don't send them to school in 'tie shoes" until they can reliably tie them, themselves.
Always empty the littlest one's pockets OUTSIDE. Trust me on this

If you are exhausted at bedtime and reading aloud to a non-reader, most Bernstain Bears books still make sense if you only read the first sentence on each page.

Your missing forks are in your couch.

When you threaten to “turn this car around and go home” make sure to act like you’re about to press this button.

If you have to take a little kid on a flight, have one or two surprise presents (like an action figure or a car) that you don’t reveal to them until they start to get restless.

Make hard transitions in the summer. Drop the paci, potty train, big kid bed… daylight helps on hard days. Summer has more daylight.

Of your kids won't eat "broken food" tell them the only way to put it back together is to put all the pieces in their tummy.

1. When your kids are little play your music in the car your sanity will thank you later.
2. ALWAYS carry an extra outfit, diapers, wipes, and cream in the car. You just never know even with a diaper bag.
3. Silence when everyone is awake means someone is up to no good. I promise you.
4. Routines are better than schedules, we know the order of what comes next rather than exact times to do them= less stress
5. You can make most healthy foods look like junk food while keeping it healthy.

Keep a bag of craft supplies (with googly eyes) and construction paper/poster board. So when your kid tells you at 7:45pm they have a project due the next day, you’re not doing a late evening craft run. I say this as a mom of boys.

If you’re going on a trip with multiple overnight stops, pack a suitcase by day, not by person. Then when you get to the hotel late at night, you haul one bag to the room with everybody’s stuff in it for the night+the next day. “Wednesday suitcase” “Thursday suitcase” etc. Same when flying, so if luggage gets lost, it’s one day’s worth, not one person now has nothing.

Buy all the healthy snacks and say they can’t have any because they’re yours. Now they will be eating healthy snacks. You’re welcome.

Tell them that your favorite part of the parent-teacher conference was when the teacher said you were a good friend.

Do not EVER assume they want you to peel their bananas

Do not let the children apply magnetiles to their braces