Being kind, treating others with dignity, and respecting others’ boundaries—this sounds like common sense to many people. It’s how any civil and self-confident individual ought to behave. Unfortunately, common sense is in short supply at times… as is basic politeness.
One internet user asked the men of the r/AskReddit online community to open up and share the obvious red flags that they’ve noticed in other men. The question started an in-depth discussion about toxic masculinity, and we’ve collected some of the most egregious examples of it. Scroll down for a crash course on how to never treat other human beings.
#21
Calling women "bitches", and not in the sense of "she's being a b***h" but in the general sense as if "b***h" is a synonym for "woman".
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82points
#22
Suddenly flying off the handle at a minor inconvenience. It's one thing to stub your toe at the end of a bad day and give the table a whack. It's another if every moment of stress or misfortune triggers rage.
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79points
#23
Using phrases like "do you know who I am?"
Constantly talking about themselves and how desirable they are (to women, recruiters, hiring managers, etc)
*Only* being nice to certain groups of people (women, leaders, minorities, white people, etc)
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76points
#26
Proclaiming they are an alpha male and treat women like objects instead of people.
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73points
#27
Any man who talks about things like "the natural order" or "the natural hierarchy" is probably an a*****e. Nature is an unruly bush, not a "hierarchy". People who speak of "the natural order" are usually promoting something much darker than that, and they use the concept of "the natural order" as their excuse.
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70points
#29
Trying to break your hand with the handshake when they meet you.
I prefer a firm handshake, but when they're squeezing so hard you can feel your bones and tendons move and your hand hurts afterward, that's just ridiculous. It's just machismo b******t to exert dominance by way of physical pain.
Last guy that did it to me (it was at work) I just straight called him out right there. "Oh, so youre one of those hard handshake guys? Why do you do that?" As I shake the pain out of my hand. Was a very awkward professional relationship afterward but he never f****d with me.
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69points
#30
When you handshake and he forcefully twists his hand on top and yours on bottom.
I instantly don't trust him
I instantly don't trust him
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66points
#32
Throwing their friends under the bus when women are around. Really struggled to deal with guys I thought were my friends doing this when I was younger. It’s like a switch goes off in them when attractive women are around and all bets are off.
Also not making an effort to be friends or even just nice be to people that don’t have anything to offer them. There are plenty of guys at my job that only talk to guys their age or attractive women, like if they can’t hangout or date them they’re not worth interacting with.
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50points
#33
The three F’s will earn an F from me if all they talk about is fighting, fornicating, and frustrations.
I want nothing from their friendships.
Have a life, you’re a lot more interesting if you do things. Because if you do things, you have things to talk about, to relate with, and experiences to share.
Again… have a life, be able to tell a story.
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49points
#34
Just being an a*****e at the gym. How bout you don’t stand 4 inches away from me talking with your friends?
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43points
#35
Clenched jaw and crossed arms. If you're showing me intimidation signals I'm going to ignore you until you go away.
36points
