59 Medical Professionals Share The Most Unhinged Chart Notes They’ve Ever Seen

Not a nurse, but my own chart note: “Major depressive disorder. Mood improved since getting divorced.” Dear reader, I did not mention my divorce.

I'm not a nurse but in my diagnosis papers for my autism it says that I love constipated animals.. the Swedish words for constipation and taxidermy are very similar. I do in fact NOT enjoy collecting constipated animals.

Patient attempted hunger strike. Lasted 20 minutes.

I’m a social worker (sorry) but I once read a nephrologist note declaring my elderly patient a “toothless party animal.”

I have a file somewhere on my PC from many years ago which has (supposedly) real notes from Drs. Gems include:
“Genital examination of the pt revealed he is circus sized”
“Pt has no shaking chills or rigours, but husband states she was very hot in bed last night”
And my all-time favourite: “Pt has two teenage children but no other abnormalities” 🤣

Had a doctor that did his rounds on Halloween dressed as Elvis. His brother (also a doc) consulted on one of his brother’s patients. After he’d made his rounds. Doctor noted:
“Patient claims to have seen Elvis. Will continue to follow up.”

Read on my own MyChart after a visit: “Patient shaved head since last visit. Looks better.”

I worked at an O&P office. My favorite letter for medical necessity was, “PT (58m) had lower leg amputated at 18 due to cancer, and it is not anticipated to grow back”.

I was taking care of a patient with a stab wound. In the physician trauma notes it said “caused by baby mama drama”.

"Transferred To Jesus" on a note faxed to the office from the ER overnight.

“Patient has been vomiting every 10 minutes since 1945”
(It meant since 19:45 also known as 7:45pm. )

Recently seen in an elderly lady's PCP visit "uses expletives liberally but non-belligerently."

I worked on an inpatient MH unit once, asked a patient if they wanted anything to eat and they said “I eat souls for breakfast, my diet is water and demons” had to chart “Patient declined food offered due it not being souls, water or demons.”

Had a patient brought inbox EMS who was extremely inebriated and would only yell at the top of his lungs to questions. Triage nurse entered reason for visit as "Hypervodkaemia" and included a note "Patient states 'Aye eeee aye eee' at loud volume when asked about history."

My all time favorite triage note.

Funny but not unhinged- “large brown stool ambulating in hall”. Punctuation is important when charting.

Dr wrote in pt chart “I can’t believe this pt is still alive.”

I had a delivery once where baby presented with head slightly deflexed, making for a *tough* delivery. Misshapen head, floppy as hell. Neo NP swears the kid has a syndrome or something and baby gets transferred to our Level 3 NICU
Genetics note the next day: “neonate had syndromic-appearing facies, but parents present, and resemblance noted” 💀💀
(Sorry I jumped on a nurse post, but too good not to share 😂)

“Term infant born on sidewalk in front of Dennys. Placenta found intact in mother’s purse.”

Urologist doing a consult: “Social history: patient has no history of tobacco, alcohol, or illicit substance use due to his status as a BABY IN THE NEWBORN NURSERY.” (Yes, handwritten in all caps.)
Shade heard loud and clear, bud.
(Probably not the most unhinged, but definitely one of the funnier ones.)