Doctors and nurses are trained to be calm under pressure and keep their cool when lives are on the line. They witness pain, suffering and lives cut short, often on a daily basis. And when the shift is done, many are expected to go home to their own families with their emotions intact.
But even the most seasoned medical professionals have experienced cases that cut through the clinical detachment like a hot knife through butter: haunting and heartbreaking scenes and stories that will live with them for the rest of their lives.
Perhaps it's a "what if?" or a diagnosis that came way too late for an innocent, little girl. Maybe it involves the emotional weight of hearing a mother's blood-curdling screams after being told that both her twins didn't make it. It could be the sadness of witnessing an elderly person passing away with no one at their side. The helplessness that lingers long after the room is empty. Whatever the reason, doctors and nurses are left with emotional wounds that can't just be stitched up quickly in surgery.
Someone recently asked medical professionals, "What is the one case from your career that still haunts you to this day?" and some of the replies might leave you heartbroken. Others could send chills down your spine.
Bored Panda has put together a list of the top stories for you to scroll through while you ponder your own immortality. We also explore how nurses and doctors cope with the daily trauma that they face. You'll find that info between the images.
#1
My doctors answer would be:
27-year-old female, was previously never diagnosed with anything, not even a broken leg. Started to complaining about feeling wrong in her body, constantly constantly so tired, she could barely keep awake, while she was cooking dinner. Her hair is falling out, she got black dots flashing for her eyes, and she’s constantly feeling a bit unwell, like in the beginning of a cold. Besides from this, she feels nauseous.
The patient got too small kids at home.
The patient have now contacted the doctor numerous times, and walked out the clinic with the words “ are you sure this is not something in your head?” you’re absolutely fine.
Fast forward a couple of months, the patient returns with a lump in her breast.
She gets an ultra scan. Again, she’s told nothing wrong.
At this time the patient is starting to feel very embarrassed when she calls her doctor, who is visibly irritated at her.
Now it’s nine months since she had the ultra scan, and she now feels a new lump in her breast.
She returns to the doctor, and demands to go to another clinic.
Six days after, she lays on the table, getting scanned and so that she got stage four breast cancer, three lumps in her breast, and it’s spread to the lymph nodes.
Luckily, I am still here today. 10 years has passed.
Thanks to myself, and my stubbornness!
If I did not return to the doctor again and again, my children would not have known me.
Sorry for the incorrect spelling or grammar, English is my second language.
27-year-old female, was previously never diagnosed with anything, not even a broken leg. Started to complaining about feeling wrong in her body, constantly constantly so tired, she could barely keep awake, while she was cooking dinner. Her hair is falling out, she got black dots flashing for her eyes, and she’s constantly feeling a bit unwell, like in the beginning of a cold. Besides from this, she feels nauseous.
The patient got too small kids at home.
The patient have now contacted the doctor numerous times, and walked out the clinic with the words “ are you sure this is not something in your head?” you’re absolutely fine.
Fast forward a couple of months, the patient returns with a lump in her breast.
She gets an ultra scan. Again, she’s told nothing wrong.
At this time the patient is starting to feel very embarrassed when she calls her doctor, who is visibly irritated at her.
Now it’s nine months since she had the ultra scan, and she now feels a new lump in her breast.
She returns to the doctor, and demands to go to another clinic.
Six days after, she lays on the table, getting scanned and so that she got stage four breast cancer, three lumps in her breast, and it’s spread to the lymph nodes.
Luckily, I am still here today. 10 years has passed.
Thanks to myself, and my stubbornness!
If I did not return to the doctor again and again, my children would not have known me.
Sorry for the incorrect spelling or grammar, English is my second language.
Report
148points
Nurses often have more contact with patients than doctors. So it's no surprise that they sometimes get to know them well, especially in cases of prolonged hospital admission or ongoing illnesses.
The more a nurse sees a patient, the deeper the bond between them can grow. And when that patient takes their last breath, it can be heartbreaking for the person who'd been helping to care for them.
A 2021 study published in the National Library of Medicine notes that while seeing people passing on is an inevitable part of a nurse's job, it doesn't make it any easier to witness. "There is no doubt that, despite an ability of self-control and a calm approach to the issue, there are still some emotions the nurses need to work through. The death of a patient is considered one of the professional situations in nursing," reads the paper.
160 nurses took part in the Polish study, aimed at evaluating and analyzing the feelings and emotions which accompany nurses during their work when they face the passing on of patients.
Among the participants, more than half said they experienced h**h levels of stress. Many admitted to feeling a sense of helplessness and abandonment, anger and sorrow.
#2
When I worked in the ICU in my 20’s, there was a 32 year old mom of three with bone cancer that she had been fighting for a while. She was dying, so she had gone to Mexico for some experimental treatment, which did nothing and she came back worse. Her family was very religious and was continually pressuring her to fight because “it would be sinful to give up, and what would her daughters think that she didn’t do everything to stay with them?!?” She was in so much pain, the amount of narcotics she took in an hour would have k****d me if I took it over the span of a day. The cancer was so bad that you could feel the tumors when you touched her and her skin would sometimes break open and bleed. She was in and out of the unit for about a year, and her family (husband and parents) was pressuring her to keep going with futile treatment. She was alone most of the time with us, in horrible pain, while her family visited in between living their lives. She was offered support to talk with her family if she wanted to change her mind about her care, but she didn’t want to go against them. Her husband had flown states away to attend a religious conference and her parents were out of town with her kids when she started imminently dying. The family tried to get home in time but she died with only us nurses at her side. When I turned 33, I thought about how I’m older than she ever got to be. I’m in my 40’s now and am still thinking of her. The way she died was cruel and it didn’t have to be.
124points
#3
A mid 20s guy who was dying from the flu. Probably had only a couple more days left, we had him on every intervention there is. He was type one diabetic, but was unable to afford insulin. He was buying it from a veterinary supply store (the cheapest he could find) and still only using it about every 3 days when his sugars would get to the over 300 range.
That guy would probably still be alive today if we had reasonable health insurance in this country and could afford to keep his diabetes in check. It really was the turning point in my prioritization of universal Healthcare in a political candidate.
That guy would probably still be alive today if we had reasonable health insurance in this country and could afford to keep his diabetes in check. It really was the turning point in my prioritization of universal Healthcare in a political candidate.
Report
124points
Mortality is unavoidable in the working environment of nurses. “Every [one] is a painful event but, in a way, it is inscribed in human existence," notes the paper. "Nurses often accompany a d*ying person and they are required to carry out their duties in a professional manner when dealing with such a patient."
11% of the nurses in the study group admitted that they reacted very emotionally to when a patient passes on, while nearly 56% of the respondents stated that they tried to control their emotions. 33% said that they kept their distance.
#4
I have a few that haunt me in the horrible way, so how about one that haunts me in the lol wtf way.
So this older lady comes in with a general complaint of illness. Nurse gets her sat down in the room and starts asking her questions. The lady says, "Well, I have branches growing out of me down there."
Long silence. The nurse asks some clarifying questions and eventually has to type into the medical record, "chief complaint, branches growing out of v****a."
My friend, the NP, went in and eventually found out that this woman had a vaginal prolapse several weeks ago, and one of her neighbors, upon hearing of her woes, suggested stuffing some potatoes up into the hole as some sort of folk remedy.
And there those potatoes had remained for weeks in a nice dark, damp location, which meant they obviously started sprouting. Thus the "branches."
Potatoes were removed, and she was given a non-potato treatment for vaginal prolapse and told not to stuff potatoes up the nethers again.
So this older lady comes in with a general complaint of illness. Nurse gets her sat down in the room and starts asking her questions. The lady says, "Well, I have branches growing out of me down there."
Long silence. The nurse asks some clarifying questions and eventually has to type into the medical record, "chief complaint, branches growing out of v****a."
My friend, the NP, went in and eventually found out that this woman had a vaginal prolapse several weeks ago, and one of her neighbors, upon hearing of her woes, suggested stuffing some potatoes up into the hole as some sort of folk remedy.
And there those potatoes had remained for weeks in a nice dark, damp location, which meant they obviously started sprouting. Thus the "branches."
Potatoes were removed, and she was given a non-potato treatment for vaginal prolapse and told not to stuff potatoes up the nethers again.
Report
114points
#5
2 cases tied together, same family. A little girl, G, was unrestrained in the front seat of mom’s car when it crashed. Mom was found to be at fault. G broke her neck. Paralyzed neck down. Trach, vent, feeding tube, straight cath, yet still alert, talking, learning, growing. 2 years later a boy, K, was unrestrained in the front seat of his mother’s car when it crashed. Mom was found to be at fault. K broke his neck, paralyzed from the neck down. Trach, vent, feeding tube, still alert, talking, learning, growing. These 2 moms are sisters that live in the same town. I met the boy as an infant when i was caring for the girl. I am angry about the first tragedy, i am beyond f-ing disgusted about the second.
Report
114points
The research also found that nurses with long service in work manage their emotions best.
"Respondents with the shortest length of service found it very hard to cope... and they experienced a particularly h**h level of sense of powerlessness, the feeling that becomes less intensive the longer the person works in the profession," notes the paper.
Doctors and nurses are expected to be able to emotionally detach and quickly move onto the next patient. But that's sometimes easier said than done.
"Sadly, that's the reality in the trauma bay and ICU settings," reveals Dr. Brenda M. Schiltz, a pediatric ICU specialist at Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. "You still have to carry forward. The next patient deserves your full compassion and thoughtfulness just as the patient who is deceased. That's not easy to do, and I had to learn how to do that well."
#6
Worked in developing country. Only surgeon in the hospital. Operated on a 6 month old who had been r***d. I will never forget that.
Took my time. Arrived too late back to the ER to save the rapist who had been attacked by the family. Not too sorry about that.
Took my time. Arrived too late back to the ER to save the rapist who had been attacked by the family. Not too sorry about that.
Report
104points
"It's not just the deceased patient's family who grieves — it's the health care team and everyone working in the area when a person d*es," says Cathy A. Dudley, a specialist in Decedent Affairs at Mayo Clinic's campus in Rochester, Minnesota.
Schiltz adds that in the past, it was frowned upon for medical professionals to take a moment, or step away, after a patient takes their last breath. But things have changed.
"There's been a culture shift... It used to be about just powering through, and there was stigma that you were weak if you couldn't," the expert reveals. "Now the culture has moved to thinking that if you can't perform your duties, stepping aside is the best thing for you as a professional and for your patients at that time."
#7
I'm a dentist, so not a real doctor, but...
There comes a patient with swelling and pain on the lower jaw on a place with no teeth. I examine him, make an incision, drain the pus, antibiotic and OPG (orthopantomogram). There's this impacted wisdom tooth - we extract it, everything fine. 9 days later he calls me, he's still bleeding (didn't even mention it for the whole 9 days!), heard a pop. Turns out he fractured his mandible. So CBCT (scanner) and something's fishy. I get biopsy - tumor. Metastatic from his lungs (according to the doctors), his whole body was lit up on the PET scan.
I guess he has a few months to live. I feel pretty bad. There's nothing I could have done but being part of the whole process was really stressful. That happened last month, so it's still very quite fresh.
There comes a patient with swelling and pain on the lower jaw on a place with no teeth. I examine him, make an incision, drain the pus, antibiotic and OPG (orthopantomogram). There's this impacted wisdom tooth - we extract it, everything fine. 9 days later he calls me, he's still bleeding (didn't even mention it for the whole 9 days!), heard a pop. Turns out he fractured his mandible. So CBCT (scanner) and something's fishy. I get biopsy - tumor. Metastatic from his lungs (according to the doctors), his whole body was lit up on the PET scan.
I guess he has a few months to live. I feel pretty bad. There's nothing I could have done but being part of the whole process was really stressful. That happened last month, so it's still very quite fresh.
Report
98points
#8
Haunting (as in I'll carry this with me for the rest of my career), but in a good way:
When I was a medical student, I had a patient come in with a full blown stroke - hemiplegia, aphasia, facial droop, etc. The stroke fellow I was with showed me how to draw up and push tPA (a "clot buster" medication), and allowed me to administer the d**g.
Fast forward a few days, and this patient had recovered nearly all of their function - some residual weakness, but fully able to converse and articulate themselves. As she was getting discharged, she looked at me and said - "You know what? You've been coming in and seeing me every morning for the past few days. You were the first face I saw in the emergency room, and now you're the last face I'm seeing as I get ready to leave. I'll never forget you." She gave me the sweetest, most heartfelt hug.
She's probably the reason why I'm happy and content going into the specialty I'm going into.
When I was a medical student, I had a patient come in with a full blown stroke - hemiplegia, aphasia, facial droop, etc. The stroke fellow I was with showed me how to draw up and push tPA (a "clot buster" medication), and allowed me to administer the d**g.
Fast forward a few days, and this patient had recovered nearly all of their function - some residual weakness, but fully able to converse and articulate themselves. As she was getting discharged, she looked at me and said - "You know what? You've been coming in and seeing me every morning for the past few days. You were the first face I saw in the emergency room, and now you're the last face I'm seeing as I get ready to leave. I'll never forget you." She gave me the sweetest, most heartfelt hug.
She's probably the reason why I'm happy and content going into the specialty I'm going into.
Report
94points
Schiltz adds that many in the medical community are still grappling with how to react in the moments after a patient passes away.
"We're still combatting the 'ignore your emotional response' mindset and trying to find the right balance of taking a moment to process what just happened, have a breather and then set it aside in order to complete our shifts," she says. "Yet there can be times when you just can't go on to the next patient."
Dudley agrees. "People need to find their coping mechanisms to come to grips with the inability to save the patient, especially in trauma," she told MayoClinic.
#9
I don’t know about haunting me for life but here’s one I’ve never forgotten. I worked as a CNA in a dementia unit.We had a wheelchair bound gentleman who started pulling the fire alarm set into the wall of the hallway by his room. Because this was a nursing home, every time that alarm was set off the fire department responded… quickly. Our gentleman started pulling it several times a day and often a few times in the evening as well, all day, every day. It didn’t take long for the fire department to lose any sense of humor they might have had about the situation and start leveling fines on the facility. Progressively bigger ones as time passed and our friend continued his trick in spite of numerous attempts to stop him. The staff was written up and upper management was going apes**t.We just didn’t have enough staff to have someone constantly monitor a single patient. Finally, someone thought to ask this gentleman WHY he was pulling the fire alarm. His reply was astonishing… he pointed to the dammed thing and very reasonably explained “ it says PULL “. It did, in big red letters three inches high. A simple piece of masking tape over the instructive word solved a huge problem. People with dementia aren’t exactly themselves anymore but they’re certainly far from stupid.
Report
91points
#10
I was a nurse at an assisted living facility during covid. We had the whole place locked down for over two years (no family or visitors allowed). One resident in particular was a ray of sunshine and adored by all staff and residents alike. She was slightly delayed mentally, not a ton, like lived in a group home most of her life, but mostly for reasons like needing help paying bills and applying for jobs and whatnot. This meant that she was probably the youngest one there (late 60s) and physically in great health. Her childlike innocence and humor really kept the place upbeat. Then we hit the covid lock downs and she was absolutely miserable and cried a lot. Every day, she would ask when she would get to see her family. It was heartbreaking to have to tell her everytime that it would be awhile yet. She went through the whole lock down without ever leaving (except for occasional appointments) or seeing her family.
The day the lockdown lifted, she was the happiest person I've ever seen. She could finally leave to see her family. She got dressed up for the first time since the lockdown started, and made sure everyone in the facility, including residents, knew that she was finally going to go have dinner with her family. We sent her off with a smile.
The next day, we found out that at the very dinner that she waited two years for, she had choked and passed away. The facility felt lifeless for awhile after that.
The day the lockdown lifted, she was the happiest person I've ever seen. She could finally leave to see her family. She got dressed up for the first time since the lockdown started, and made sure everyone in the facility, including residents, knew that she was finally going to go have dinner with her family. We sent her off with a smile.
The next day, we found out that at the very dinner that she waited two years for, she had choked and passed away. The facility felt lifeless for awhile after that.
Report
86points
#11
I had a patient whom I nursed for 11 months. He had cancer that eventually spread. He was in the same room, the same bed, for 11 months. I was his nurse 3 or 4 days a week for those 11 months. I got to know him, his wife, his children.
He finally died at about one day at about 10am. It took me and his wife two hours to pack up all the things he had accumulated in that room over those 11 months. It took another hour for housekeeping to clean his room.
An hour before my shift ended, I admitted a new patient into his room.
That was the day I finally understood what happens after we die. We clean the bed and admit a new patient. .
He finally died at about one day at about 10am. It took me and his wife two hours to pack up all the things he had accumulated in that room over those 11 months. It took another hour for housekeeping to clean his room.
An hour before my shift ended, I admitted a new patient into his room.
That was the day I finally understood what happens after we die. We clean the bed and admit a new patient. .
82points
Schiltz says that while medical professionals may attempt to move on after a patient flatlines, the emotions surrounding such events can go home with them. And therefore, it's important to address negative events at work.
"Patients d*e — that's part of what happens in health care. We witness suffering, critical illness and health deteriorate to the end of life," explains the expert. "However, you have to leave it at work."
#12
Christmas Eve night in ER . EMS calls with 2 school age burn victims. Arrived with 7yo twins that fell asleep under the Christmas tree waiting for Santa. Tree caught fire. Resuscitation was futile. Their pj's had melted into what little flesh there was left. I can still hear that mother's scream of despair and grief. That was 17 years ago and I think about them every year.
Report
79points
#13
I was a labor and delivery nurse. Called to the ER stat. Some rich guy driving his laboring wife to the hospital like a bat out of h**l in a Porsche. He was driving at least 100 mph when he tangled with a semi truck. The woman was k****d on impact, and the infant survived but was in serious distress. Emergency c-section in ER to save baby. He did survive with severe impairments due to hypoxia. The worst part came with the woman's post mortem. She was dilated to 2. He had all the time in the world to get her to the hospital driving like a normal human.
77points
#14
NICU nurse.
22 weeks is the age of viability (some places, including ours, have tried 21 weeks and had a success here and there) but this kid was a couple days old and a 23 weeker. Was stable and without any drips, intubated on a special vent for micros, and when I got report just slightly had oxygen a little out of range.
Time of d**th was called 10 hours later on the nose. Kid had gone massively septic and wouldn’t respond to pressors, fluid, antibiotics, etc. I had heard of sepsis in newborns that can be quick like that from older nurses but I hadn’t seen it yet.
We’d gotten the baby baptized per family wishes about 15 mins before the end came, despite the fact we still were doing everything to prevent it. I broke down after we called it and gave the kid to mom to spend the last few moments.
Came back to bedside a few mins later after I got my c**p together (shoutout to my coworkers who held it down so I could step away) and cried again when I saw him alone in the isolette. I played him some lullabies and dressed him in a tiny crochet blanket and hat and brought him to a private room with his parents.
I’ll never forget this child. He’s the only one who has passed that was MY patient, my assignment for the shift. And I struggled for months with anxiety afterwards any time I had a patient with lower oxygen or blood pressure because I had come to the cruel realization that sometimes your best just isn’t good enough.
22 weeks is the age of viability (some places, including ours, have tried 21 weeks and had a success here and there) but this kid was a couple days old and a 23 weeker. Was stable and without any drips, intubated on a special vent for micros, and when I got report just slightly had oxygen a little out of range.
Time of d**th was called 10 hours later on the nose. Kid had gone massively septic and wouldn’t respond to pressors, fluid, antibiotics, etc. I had heard of sepsis in newborns that can be quick like that from older nurses but I hadn’t seen it yet.
We’d gotten the baby baptized per family wishes about 15 mins before the end came, despite the fact we still were doing everything to prevent it. I broke down after we called it and gave the kid to mom to spend the last few moments.
Came back to bedside a few mins later after I got my c**p together (shoutout to my coworkers who held it down so I could step away) and cried again when I saw him alone in the isolette. I played him some lullabies and dressed him in a tiny crochet blanket and hat and brought him to a private room with his parents.
I’ll never forget this child. He’s the only one who has passed that was MY patient, my assignment for the shift. And I struggled for months with anxiety afterwards any time I had a patient with lower oxygen or blood pressure because I had come to the cruel realization that sometimes your best just isn’t good enough.
Report
70points
She revealed that a chaplain friend of hers treats work like a backpack. "He uses this backpack to carry or help shoulder people's loads, bearing heaviness with them. He said that when he leaves work, he envisions removing the backpack and then goes home."
Schiltz believes that doctors and nurses need to be able to "remove the backpack" to fully participate in their home lives, adding that "there's a sacred time and space at home and at work."
#15
My ICU patient who was brain dead, waiting for the rest of her family to join so we could extubate. Every time her husband would come to her side she would lift her hands up off the bed without the average posturing forms in the most unusual way. I couldn’t recreate the responses when I tried and had a terrible feeling about him. Found out he was charged with the m*rder.
Report
67points
#16
Child a***e, shaken baby cases, “the I just left my baby with this guy I’ve been dating for 3 days” scenarios. Once there was clearly a boot print where the baby had been stomped, they didn’t make it…..those haunt me and at one point in my career I started drinking heavily to cope. After almost 30 years I had to step back from a level 1 trauma center and do routine things. I stuck it out longer than most but it eventually got too much to bear.
Report
60points
#17
MH worker: worked with an adult who’s “parents” tortured her as a child. Like, literally physically and s*xually t*rtured her. She was impregnated several times by family members, and beaten until she m***arried, all by the age of 15. She managed to run away but then experienced homelessness and the traumas that come with that.
I am in the trauma field and I work with many others with similar stories. I see some of the darkest corners of humanity on a daily basis. I love a quote from Mr. Rogers that says “when something scared me, my mom would tell me to look for the helpers. There are always people who are helping.” It helps keep me sane to know that, even though humanity can be dark, there are people willing to help.
Edit to add: many folks I work with now are doing exceptionally well. They have homes, loving families of their own, and treatment that is working for them. That is also what keeps me hopeful.
I am in the trauma field and I work with many others with similar stories. I see some of the darkest corners of humanity on a daily basis. I love a quote from Mr. Rogers that says “when something scared me, my mom would tell me to look for the helpers. There are always people who are helping.” It helps keep me sane to know that, even though humanity can be dark, there are people willing to help.
Edit to add: many folks I work with now are doing exceptionally well. They have homes, loving families of their own, and treatment that is working for them. That is also what keeps me hopeful.
Report
60points
#18
New born baby with multiple chromosomal abnormalities that were not compatible with life. Palliative care was chosen and baby lived just short of 2 weeks. This was all very sad. But what sticks with me is that the baby’s mother was a 15 year old girl who had been r***d and impregnated by her own father. Just horrible all around.
Report
59points
#19
We had an old guy who fell at home and was laying there a few days before someone found him. No family, no living will or advanced directives that anybody could find. He was covered in pressure sores from being on the floor when he came in. His teeth were very badly rotten and then he lost a few during intubation. His mouth was a bloody gory mess. Definitely contributed to his poor nutritional status which made his skin so weak. Anyway he was severely septic and in respiratory failure, and he had nobody to speak for him. He was trying to rip everything out so his hands were in restraints. He was lucid enough to resist being cleaned and turned and to look absolutely miserable and in pain at all times. Ive never seen a persons mouth so wide open for so long. We have to do oral care every four hours to prevent pneumonia and he would shake so hard from the pain no matter how gentle we were. His sores weren’t healing despite being on a special bed and being immobile made him swell and weep fluid from everywhere. Eventually he died. I think about him a lot. This poor old guy who fell at home and then spent his last weeks tied to a bed being tortured by his caregivers because he had no family or documents to guide his care. It was obvious he wanted to be palliative but he couldn’t communicate and there was no legal way to deescalate care. He had a coworker who visited at first but he couldn’t handle it anymore and stopped showing up, I can’t even blame him.
If you or your loved ones have any medical care documents like a DNR or otherwise, please put a copy on the fridge in a labeled envelope. EMTs will always look there for such things and if they don’t find them then having them doesn’t matter. .
If you or your loved ones have any medical care documents like a DNR or otherwise, please put a copy on the fridge in a labeled envelope. EMTs will always look there for such things and if they don’t find them then having them doesn’t matter. .
Report
58points
#20
During Covid times, I had a patient in the ICU with very bad pneumonia not caused by Covid. She needed ECMO, but our hospital could not support it at the time, and all other hospitals were too full to accept a transfer. We did everything we could for her, but on my first assessment one day, I found her pupil blown. Stat CT showed a massive stroke. I was in my early 30s and she was exactly 1 month younger than me. I remember watching her husband and mom come to the bedside and cry over her, and suddenly I saw myself in the bed and my husband and mom in the room. They made the decision to transition to comfort care, and I watched her die. I’ll never forget her. She was one of the victims of Covid that never even had the disease.
Report
54points