Hello and welcome to our latest edition in the jokes section. This time, the topic is the epitome of all hospital jokes, the winner in all the medical jokes categories, and something that is even spicier than doctor jokes themselves. Are you ready to guess the topic here? Sure you are - it’s nurse jokes! Jokes dedicated to probably the most dedicated people in medicine who are worthy of nothing else but high praise!
As you’re about to see, these aren’t exactly jokes about nurses but rather jokes for nurses. We just couldn’t bear to make even the friendliest kind of fun of these specialists who saw us through the last couple of years of the pandemic with relentless heroism, saving tens of thousands of lives. Thus, this compilation of funny nurse jokes is more for them rather than about them. A way to pay our respects and provide at least the tiniest bit of comedic relief in their day. And we’ve set the bar for ourselves pretty high here, so hopefully, these hilarious jokes will fulfill their mission!
However, even if you’re not a nurse yourself, chances are you’ll also find these jokes quite amusing. All you have to do is scroll on down to check them out and then give the best jokes your vote! Lastly, share this article with your friends and anyone to whom these jokes might be of concern.
#1
I went to casualty yesterday and said to the nurse, “I’ve been stung by a wasp, have you got anything for it?”
She asked, “Whereabouts is it?”
I said, “I don’t know, it could be miles away by now.”
unknown
Report12points
#2
Murphy’s Law of Nursing #59: You finish your charting and realize you’re in the wrong patient’s chart.
unknown
Report11points
#3
How does Thor's nurse treat him back to health?
She Norses him through the night.
unknown
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#4
What did the nurse say to the tonsil?
You should get dressed. The doctor is going to take you out.
unknown
Report10points
#5
What did the nurse reply when someone asked, "Does an apple a day keeps the doctor away?"
"Yes, if you aim it nicely."
unknown
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#6
Why did the banana say to the nurse?
I am here to see the doctor. I am not peeling well!
unknown
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#7
What did the senior nurse advise the young nurse about her first injection?
"Just give your best shot."
unknown
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#8
"I decided not to vaccinate my daughter… I let the nurses do it instead; they have more experience."
unknown
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#9
A guy calls the hospital.
He says, “You gotta send help! My wife’s going into labor!”
The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?”
He says, “No! This is her husband!”
unknown
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#10
A Graduate Nurse charts too much.
An experienced nurse doesn´t chart enough.
unknown
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#11
What do transplant nurses hate?
Rejection.
unknown
Report9points
#12
Why was the nurse feeling mad?
He ran out of patients.
unknown
Report9points
#13
Why did the patient identify the nurse as a curtain?
Because she was seen pulling herself together.
unknown
Report9points
#14
Q: Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell?
A: It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn’t at work anymore!
unknown
Report9points
#15
Why nurses are always so calm?
Because of patients.
unknown
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#16
What did the nurse say when the doctor decided to stay home?
"Suture self!"
unknown
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#17
"Don’t mess with me — I get paid to poke people with very sharp objects."
unknown
Report8points
#18
What is it called when a hospital runs out of maternity nurses?
A mid-wife crisis!
unknown
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#19
Why does the infectious disease ward at the hospital have the fastest Wi-Fi?
Because it has all the hot spots.
unknown
Report8points
#20
My younger brother made so many rash decisions he decided to become a dermatologist.
unknown
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