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“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever

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When we go through traumatic events, our brain can shut out feelings and thoughts as a way to protect us from emotional or physical damage. This can make people go numb in stressful situations, so our bodies have time to figure out the best course of survival. 
Healthcare workers are frequently exposed to traumatic experiences, so when they were asked what event made them go permanently numb, they shared many devastating stories. Scroll down to find them below, and don’t forget to share similar ones if you have any.

#1

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
Putting multiple people in body bags each shift one weekend as a Covid nurse and then having my own family tell me Covid wasn’t real in the days after.
178points

#2

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
Having to tell my patient we had no ventilators left during Covid so he really had to be strong and focus on his breathing all night just to stay alive. He did.
175points

#3

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
Carrying a stillborn infant to the morgue in my arms so that her mother did not have to see her on the cold morgue cart. This was against policy, it was night shift and I didn’t care. The look on her face and the pain in her voice asking me to carry her will stay with me forever.
172points

It’s not uncommon to dissociate or numb feelings when going through traumatic or stressful events. Even though it might provide temporary relief, coping this way with difficult emotions can have an unwanted, long-lasting impact. 

Prolonged emotional numbness can lead to an inability to respond to positive situations and relationships, too. They appear detached and unfeeling and lack energy. Essentially, a person can’t feel anything anymore.

#4

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
A mother holding her stillborn said “I wish I could sit here and stare at her until we both turn into dust.”
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161points

#5

I had a patient my age (23) with severe Chron’s disease in the ICU after surgery. He started bleeding more than 1L through the drainage. Called the emergency surgeons and while they arrived I held his hand while he told me “I’m very scared”. He was extremely pale and shaking. I went home after that shift, couldn’t sleep thinking about it, and the next day my coworker said “take a look at him”. He was intubated and sedated. He made it, and after a few days he woke up and thanked me for everything.
161points

#6

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
Holding a patient by his gait belt with another nurse so he could dance with his wife one last time. He passed that night. Her cries haunt me.
160points

However, without the help of professional guidance, emotional numbing can be hard to overcome. Mental health professionals provide various treatments that can help with accepting the inner feelings and focusing one’s attention on living a meaningful life. 

That said, there are several lifestyle changes that doctors or therapists can recommend to help relieve the symptoms of emotional numbness.

#7

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
Sitting with a 5 yo who was there for a su*cide attempt and his mom just dropped him off and gave his info and left. He than ran out the ER into oncoming traffic and when I caught him, he grabbed onto me and said “I just want my mommy to love me”.
157points

#8

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
The fire department holding a motorcyclists brain in his head with a towel while I checked all over the patient for a pulse, watching his dead eyes hoping he blinks. Looking for maybe a bubble in the blood pouring out of his mouth. Attempting CPR and feeling every bone crush that I had to look away. Standing up covered in blood, blood soaked through my pants, socks, shirt. And then had to work the rest of my shift covered in his blood. I still see his eyes clear as day in my mind. I would count compressions in my head for months over and over, reminding myself I did them at the right pace. This all happened on a major highway while drivers video recorded me yelling at a lifeless man to blink. We covered him with a sheet, and had to go to the next call. I wish people saw EMS from our point of view. We don’t have doctors on scene. There’s two of us. We call the shots. And we pray to god the shots are correct. That’s all. Traumatic as hell.
150points

#9

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
Having a cancer patient's wife sob in my arms after her husband told the Dr he was tired of fighting and wanted to go home on hospice, sit on the porch, listen to the birds, and drink coffee with his wife.
148points

The first one is learning to reach out to your friends and family for support when you need it. Trusted persons in your life can provide a safe space to express your emotions. Another great thing to do is to focus on improving your physical health. Getting plenty of exercise and rest is important, as it makes your body more equipped to face probable stressors.

#10

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
Sane exam on a 8-month-old baby…I never went home and cried so much. I held my daughter when I got home.
145points

#11

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
Praying with an older couple before surgery to go well, she didn’t make it. Watching him leave alone with his cane and hat in hand.
127points

#12

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
I sat with a postpartum mom after she told me she was planning on shooting herself that night. I sat with her while she sobbed and we admitted her that day. I think about her and what would’ve happened if she hadn’t spoken up that day. I held her and we cried together.
122points

Minimizing stress is an additional coping strategy that can help minimize emotional numbness. This means avoiding overcrowded schedules and instead finding time to do things you enjoy. Lastly, relaxing breathing and physical exercises can increase emotional strength and to manage stressful experiences, minimizing the need to resort to emotional numbing. 

#13

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
During an honor walk hearing the scream of a mother and watching her fall to her knees as her teenage son was being wheeled down to the OR to be an organ donor.
120points

#14

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
The amount of children and young people that die because they have no health insurance while we keep people in nursing homes that have no mind body or soul left.
119points

#15

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
When an old lady was sick and i hugged her and she started crying and said all she wants is her mommy.
114points

#16

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
Doing compressions on a man still in his wedding tuxedo while his brand new wife stood outside the room still in her dress. They were t-boned leaving their wedding, he didn’t make it.
106points

#17

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
My pedi psych patient asking me “Is this what it’s like to have a mom?” When I cut his food up for him.
106points

#18

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
Hearing the screams of a mom bc her dad gave her daughter a std .. she was 6.. having to hold a mom while she watched her son almost die in her arms due to gun violence .. I can keep going …
105points

#19

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
SANE exam on a newborn. I left.
96points

#20

“Her Toes Fell Off Into My Hand”: 50 Moments That Changed Healthcare Workers Forever
Seeing a man in his 30s watch outside the glass door as his wife passed away during COVID days after she birthed their baby who also didn’t make it.
96points
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