Wise people advise not to borrow, because it feels like you are taking someone else’s money, but you will have to return your own. This is a psychological effect that has destroyed many friendships - and will destroy many more in the future. And what can we say about the completely unpleasant situation when they gave you something - and then they want to take it away?
If you thought that this rarely happens, here is visual proof for you, this tale from the user u/No_Outside9331, which gained over 10.7K upvotes and around 1.5K various comments in the AITA Reddit community. And, what’s most incredible, the story happened between relatives, and more specifically, between sisters.
The author of the post has a 4YO daughter who had her birthday party a few days ago
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
The girl's grandparents and her aunt's family were also invited to the party
Image credits: u/No_Outside9331
The aunt's husband quite unexpectedly brought her a gift, a big and apparently expensive ride-on car
Image credits: vickie photography (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/No_Outside9331
The birthday girl was happy but it was quite visible that her little cousin also wanted to have such a car
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/No_Outside9331
So just two days later the author's sister asked her to take the gift back - for her own daugter, and the author just said a flat out no
If we believe the words of the Original Poster (OP) - and we have absolutely no reason not to believe her - then her daughter “Maddie” recently turned 4. And on this occasion, the parents threw a party, where the OP’s mom, her stepdad, brother, sister "Liv" and her husband "Stephen" were also present. Oh yes, there was also the niece of the author of the post, five-year-old “Callie,” who in many ways initiated the current situation.
So, all the party participants, except Stephen, stayed at the OP’s house the night before. And it was Stephen, as it turned out, who was responsible for picking a gift for Maddie. The guy arrived and brought a large motorized ride-on car - quite expensive, apparently. At least the original poster noticed how surprised her sister was at this choice of gift from her own husband.
Maddie, of course, was incredibly happy, but her cousin clearly also desired the same car. We can't say for sure, but it appears that the OP is more well-off than her sister's family. In any case, two days later Liv called back to her with a quite unexpected request. According to the woman, her daughter really wants that very car, but her parents don’t have enough money to buy another one right now.
As a result, the mom could not find anything better than to demand the gift back for her own daughter. And if Maddie has already fallen in love with her new car, then her mother could always buy her a gift herself. Apparently, Liv did not think that in this case there would be no birthday present from her family at all...
To say that the original poster was outraged by this idea would be a pure understatement. The sisters had a very unpleasant convo in a raised voice, and ended it, if not as enemies, then certainly not as friends. Moreover, now Liv almost publicly accuses her sister of being stingy and selfish, and her parents subtly hint to the author that she should give in, and if necessary, just buy her daughter another car. The woman herself thinks this option is just ridiculous.
Image credits: Suzy Hazelwood (not the actual photo)
“I don’t know exactly all the ins and out here, but for some reason a not very good picture emerges in the family of this woman’s sister,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist from Odessa, Ukraine, to whom Bored Panda reached out for a comment about this particular case. “A mother who believes that it is acceptable to take away her own gift from her niece just two days after it was given, a daughter to whom this was not explained in any way, and a father who gave his niece an expensive gift, but is not ready to do this for his own kid. Doesn't it seem strange for you? It seems to me."
“Perhaps the parents of the sisters, when raising them, gave some preference to one of them, or always tried to 'smooth out corners' during various conflicts, which on the long run does not lead to anything good. Of course, the heroine of this story did the right thing by refusing to take back the daughter's gift."
"But the one I also feel sorry for in this situation is actually her niece, who saw a gift from her dad to another girl, and then probably faced the parents' refusal to buy her the same. I think family therapy is needed here to avoid more serious problems in the future," Irina presumes.
But people in the comments to the original post not mincing with the words at all, mercilessly criticized the OP’s sister for being so rude and selfish here. As for the behavior of the author’s parents, some commenters recommended that, instead of giving 'wholesome' advice, they should simply fork out and buy the same car for their second granddaughter. Since they are so worried about the conflict between their daughters... "They could buy one for everyone they know who wants one," one commenter wrote sarcastically.
Well, in the relationship between adult sisters, a lot of unpleasant conflicts often appear - especially when it comes to parenting. For example, you can also read this recent story about how one of the sisters called her newborn baby after late niece - and then demanded that her own parents take down her memorial at home.
Or, let's say, this post of ours, about a bride-to-be who didn't invite her tantrum-prone 12 Y.O. niece to the wedding ceremony as she'd previously ruined another one. And we're for sure looking forward to your own comments on this particular case, so please feel free to leave them below.
People in the comments slated both the author's sister for being rude and selfish, and her parents - for advising her to give in
