It’s a sad, but true fact of life that one of the few ways to truly shield yourself from the emotional impact of a loss is to not have a relationship with the lost person to begin with. Being estranged, disowned or otherwise disconnected from people leads to that.
But sometimes being disconnected can lead to some surprises. Like being included in the parents’ will as a guardian of their kids—half-siblings to the son or daughter—despite the family ties only being a formality at this point.
A Redditor recently turned to the AITA community to get some perspective on such a situation. The story drew quite a bit of attention, leading to a discussion.
Turns out, you can grant someone legal guardianship of your kids in your will... you just have to tell the guardian about it beforehand
Image credits: Sunny Lapin (not the actual image)
A Redditor by the nickname of u/Flaky_Sink3268 recently shared a story that’s actually of her husband, but she got involved really quickly. Thanks, Aunt [insert annoying extended family member name here].
You see, her husband did not keep in touch with his dad—his mother had passed away when he was 17, and even on her deathbed, his dad was already with another woman. He could not forgive that, so he left and did not talk to him ever since.
But you can get away with it without telling them, which will surely come as a surprise to some guy when a call comes in about 2 kids in his custody
Image credits: u/Flaky_Sink3268
Image credits: Chiara Coetzee (not the actual image)
Well, surprise, surprise, one day he gets a call. Turns out, the dad and his wife got into a fatal accident, and the will formalized that OP’s husband receives guardianship of the two kids they had. The husband never knew the will said this until now. He also never agreed to it. He still does not.
After he told the administrator calling him that he did not accept, the kids ended up in the custody of the aunt, the dad’s sister. And all would have been fine and dandy, if not for the aunt having a short-circuit and making it into a sort of a personal vendetta trying to make things right by making sure the kids stay within the family by forcing them onto OP and her husband.
So, she started borderline terrorizing the couple. Relentless calling led to them both blocking the aunt on their phones (work phones included), but they could not block her from showing up at their doorstep. Which she did.
What is even worse, once the guy refused, the aunt, who took the kids in, decided to terrorize the couple for refusing
Image credits: u/Flaky_Sink3268
OP was confronted about the whole issue on the spot. The aunt claimed OP and her husband were as much responsible for the now-orphaned kids as their parents, her in-laws, were, and no family history should get in the way of doing the right thing.
After OP refused, arguing that they are not, in fact, responsible for anything, and the answer remains a no, this was when the aunt went ballistic and started calling her heartless and saying that she, as a woman, should be ashamed to have married someone who "would discard flesh and blood children over the actions of adults."
She had to leave.
After being blocked on multiple channels, she showed up at their door and had to leave, but not without giving a piece of her mind
Image credits: u/Flaky_Sink3268
Image credits: Sascha Kohlmann (not the actual image)
The question of who’s the a-hole was passed on to the r/AITA community, which voted on OP being in the right. Folks were in slight shock that the dad decided that his son, with whom he had zero contact and with whom he was never on good terms, would be entrusted with his kids from another marriage. He might as well give the kids up to complete strangers.
Others asked the question: why can’t the aunt take care of them if she’s so concerned? Let alone, they saw the irony in the aunt’s words—the woman who claimed it’s their flesh and blood, yet she is doing her best to discard them. And, in the end of it all, it’s the kids who have to live through this.
Folks sided with OP, saying they were neither legally, nor emotionally responsible in any way
Now, if you thought I never knew you can do that in a will! then be surprised, as it’s a thing. And it’s considered by many a wise step forward. According to LegalZoom, including guardianship in a will almost guarantees that your kids will be assigned the guardian you want as opposed to going through the default court procedures. This does not eliminate the court per se, as they might still need to verify this, but if your reasoning is justified, then it’s very likely they will bless the decision.
Assigning guardianship yourself is a smart decision because you get to decide, all within context, who’s best to care for your kids, if the laws of the universe decide you need to fulfill that sense of impending doom. This means that you get to decide who gets to ensure your kids get the best guardianship based on your spiritual beliefs, financial situation, and the kids' needs, whether basic or special, among other factors.
But, back to the topic at hand. The post got some love from Reddit in the form of 11,300 upvotes and one beautiful feel-good Reddit award (probably one that the Redditor got for free, but hey, who cares, it’s all about karma!). You can read through it all in context here.
Oh, and don’t you think you can leave in the middle of everything without sharing your thoughts on this in the comment section below. Do it, now, DO IT!
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