What truly breaks my heart is women’s fight for equality. I mean, it is probably the oldest battle in time, yet patriarchy still seems to win, as we see it everywhere around us. The worst part is that this social evil has actually been normalized in our society.
A lot of women are angry about it, as they opened up on Reddit when a user asked them to share such things. Trust me, they didn’t hold back from exposing these “norms,” which are oh-so-problematic! Ladies out there, you might even relate to most of these, so just scroll down to check them out!
More info: Reddit
#21
Body dysmorphia and hating your appearance. I thought "feeling s**y" was a sign of narcissism.
My mom wasn't the best role model in that regard. I'd spent my formative years hearing the awful s**t my mom said about herself in front of the mirror, even tough she was gorgeous. Always on a diet, her butt always 'huge', her belly never flat enough (after me, her 2nd child, just so we can add a pinch of guilt on my part. After my older brother she lost all the baby weight ). I was an ice skater, so the expectations of the sport and the attitude of the other girls (I was called 'fat-a*s' at age 10) didn't help either. Also it was the 90's-00's beauty standards I grew up with. I remember the tabloids of Britney when she gained weight after giving birth. I was in the trenches of tumblr when 'thinspiration' was everywhere.
Then came high school and all the toxicity you can imagine. Fat shaming, restrictive diets, insane weight goals, always criticising ourselves or someone else. I think teenage girls are the most cruel and despicable creatures on Earth. No wonder I developed an eating disorder by age 16.
Now, 2 years into recovery I see that's anything but normal. It's not "part of being a woman". I'm nearing 30, my "best before" days are behind me. With a metabolism that fast, and a lifestyle as active as mine, I could've been slim (but not skinny) effortlessly. Instead I spent my 20's starving, exercising until throwing up, hating myself, envious of others, bringing other women down so I can feel better about myself.
I finally understand that self confidence isn't narcissism. That women who say they're 'feeling s**y' or 'like their body' aren't lying so the rest of us can feel even worse about ourselves. I know that I'm sick, that I have a mental illness, and I'm not 'like every other women'.
Edited for grammar mistakes, English isn't my native language.
My mom wasn't the best role model in that regard. I'd spent my formative years hearing the awful s**t my mom said about herself in front of the mirror, even tough she was gorgeous. Always on a diet, her butt always 'huge', her belly never flat enough (after me, her 2nd child, just so we can add a pinch of guilt on my part. After my older brother she lost all the baby weight ). I was an ice skater, so the expectations of the sport and the attitude of the other girls (I was called 'fat-a*s' at age 10) didn't help either. Also it was the 90's-00's beauty standards I grew up with. I remember the tabloids of Britney when she gained weight after giving birth. I was in the trenches of tumblr when 'thinspiration' was everywhere.
Then came high school and all the toxicity you can imagine. Fat shaming, restrictive diets, insane weight goals, always criticising ourselves or someone else. I think teenage girls are the most cruel and despicable creatures on Earth. No wonder I developed an eating disorder by age 16.
Now, 2 years into recovery I see that's anything but normal. It's not "part of being a woman". I'm nearing 30, my "best before" days are behind me. With a metabolism that fast, and a lifestyle as active as mine, I could've been slim (but not skinny) effortlessly. Instead I spent my 20's starving, exercising until throwing up, hating myself, envious of others, bringing other women down so I can feel better about myself.
I finally understand that self confidence isn't narcissism. That women who say they're 'feeling s**y' or 'like their body' aren't lying so the rest of us can feel even worse about ourselves. I know that I'm sick, that I have a mental illness, and I'm not 'like every other women'.
Edited for grammar mistakes, English isn't my native language.
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25points
#22
Feeling pain during a c section. I was screaming "I still feel it" and my anesthesiologist said, "We don't wanna give her anything too strong, she might not remember the birth."
Meanwhile, I did not want my baby anywhere near me after he came out because I was so enraged and in agony and felt completely helpless.
Actually, I'm so traumatized by that birth, I absolutely will NEVER have another kid.
Edit: I don't wanna scare anyone from having kids. This was with my 2nd child. My first child was an emergency c-section, and the adrenaline made the epidural painless (I don't remember feeling it at all, not even the numbing part). I did have the same 'Hotspot' where the epidural didn't reach and when I start panicking about the pain, they gave me Ketamine and I was gooooood. They continued to do their thing, I still remember seeing my girl and doing cheek to cheek with her. It was traumatic, too, but not nearly as much as my 2nd one...
The 2nd time around was a scheduled cesarean so I thought it had to go better, right? And I informed my doctors and anesthesists of what happened the first time. So when it happened again, and this time was not given any stronger pain meds, it was terrifying and the pain felt way worse from before. Adrenaline was still sky high because all the memories of the 1st one were there.
I remember they showed me my boy and I immediately turned away from him because fluid dripped on my face (from him, he was a meconium baby) and I just wasn't mentally ready to bond after that one. Having another kid is completely off the table for us now. Not even a question about it.
Meanwhile, I did not want my baby anywhere near me after he came out because I was so enraged and in agony and felt completely helpless.
Actually, I'm so traumatized by that birth, I absolutely will NEVER have another kid.
Edit: I don't wanna scare anyone from having kids. This was with my 2nd child. My first child was an emergency c-section, and the adrenaline made the epidural painless (I don't remember feeling it at all, not even the numbing part). I did have the same 'Hotspot' where the epidural didn't reach and when I start panicking about the pain, they gave me Ketamine and I was gooooood. They continued to do their thing, I still remember seeing my girl and doing cheek to cheek with her. It was traumatic, too, but not nearly as much as my 2nd one...
The 2nd time around was a scheduled cesarean so I thought it had to go better, right? And I informed my doctors and anesthesists of what happened the first time. So when it happened again, and this time was not given any stronger pain meds, it was terrifying and the pain felt way worse from before. Adrenaline was still sky high because all the memories of the 1st one were there.
I remember they showed me my boy and I immediately turned away from him because fluid dripped on my face (from him, he was a meconium baby) and I just wasn't mentally ready to bond after that one. Having another kid is completely off the table for us now. Not even a question about it.
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25points
#23
Constantly worrying about your your outfits. Is it too revealing? Too boring? Do I look like a prude? Too atractive or unattractive to be taken seriously?
For some girls, worrying about this starts as early as pre-school.
For some girls, worrying about this starts as early as pre-school.
24points
#24
Being with a partner who you love but doesn’t fully love you back. I when my partner and I found each other it made all of the previous relationships seems horrid and toxic. .
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23points
#25
Silent treatment from their mother.
I thought this type of behavior was normal for most of my life. Its crazy how some women's mothers actually talk to them about their feelings or tell them why they are upset at their daughter.
I thought this type of behavior was normal for most of my life. Its crazy how some women's mothers actually talk to them about their feelings or tell them why they are upset at their daughter.
22points
#26
Thought that being s******l during the premenstrual period was normal. Turns out, most people don't suffer from mood swings that extreme. Didn't find out until my mid-thirties.
20points
#27
Putting up with a spouse who not only wouldn't respect seemingly normal boundaries, but trying to make me feel like I was the one who was wrong for trying to have simple boundaries to begin with. Part of why we're divorcing now.
20points
