Sometimes there’s no clear answer on how to act in complex situations, as two things can be true simultaneously. Encountering such circumstances is also not uncommon in family dynamics, as it’s bound to happen throughout life.
Today’s story covers the heart-wrenching and difficult topic of cancer. A teen approached Reddit unsure how to feel after she rejected her diagnosed sister’s request to cut her hair and donate it to her.
More info: Reddit
Saying 'no' to your family member when they're in dire need is difficult, but some boundaries can't be crossed
Image credits: DC Studio (not the actual photo)
A 17YO girl approached Reddit to ask whether she was a jerk for refusing to donate her hair
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
Her little sister was diagnosed with cancer and had to shave her head, so she asked the 17YO if she could make a wig out of her sister's hair
Image credits: Maria Lupan (not the actual photo)
The 17YO refused, saying that in their family tradition hair is cut only when a family member dies, not to mention she had grown the hair her whole life
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)
The 14YO was upset and told the sister that she didn't care about her, but all that changed as the 17YO updated the story with a new post
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
The sisters had a conversation and the 17YO explained her point of view, and the 14YO told that the wig was mom's idea
Image credits: IamGojoTrust
The mom was always obsessed with her daughter's looks and just couldn't see her looking sick, so she thought a wig would help
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
The 14YO added that the mother was pushy, and even when the girl started chemotherapy, she was still concerned about how she looked
A week ago, a 17-year-old approached Reddit’s r/AITA community to see if she was being a jerk to her 14YO sister bed-ridden sister. She was recently diagnosed with cancer and had to cut her hair due to chemotherapy.
It goes without saying that the girl is already under a lot of stress over her health, but cutting her hair only worsened it. She asked the OP (Original Poster) if she could shave her hair and donate it afterward.
The 17YO cares for her sister and visits her almost daily along with her mom. She misses school and other responsibilities to keep her sister company and not leave her alone. The mother expects her to drop anything she’s doing at the moment to help her sister. Their mother pressured the 17YO to donate her hair as well, but she refused.
OP loves her mom and sister, but she has grown her hair out her whole life. Additionally, in their family tradition, the hair is only cut when someone from the family dies. The mother and sister pushed back on this, saying that it doesn’t matter now, since the 14YO has a very serious diagnosis.
This resulted in an argument between them. The 17YO explained her reasons, but her sister was very upset, to the point where she begged her to cut her hair. After the OP still refused, the 14YO said that she doesn’t care about her struggles, and isn’t understanding. The 17YO was hurt by her sister’s words and started wondering if she was a jerk.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Later, the 17YO updated her story with a new post. She had a conversation with her sister about her point of view and why she wouldn't cut her hair. The sister's need for a wig was purely pushed by the mom, as she was always pushy about the 14-year-old's appearance. When the 14YO began chemotherapy, she still insisted that her daughter shouldn't look "ugly".
The 14YO is already going through a very traumatic and overwhelming experience, and her mother's concern for good looks certainly doesn't help. According to an article covered in Psychology Today, hair loss due to chemotherapy can cause a great deal of distress to patients. To some, it may even be traumatizing.
Not only is hair loss a clear reminder for the patients of their health, but also a signal to the outside world about their condition. However, as chemotherapy is being worked upon and improved, not all types of it cause hair loss. Some forms of chemotherapy do not cause any hair loss at all, due to it being more effective in targeting the cancer cells, and not the healthy ones.
The vast majority of side effects end after chemotherapy is stopped, and the hair typically grows back.
What do you think about today's story? Do you think the 17YO was the jerk or not? Let us know in the comments below.
Netizens support the 17YO, saying that it's her choice to decide
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
