There are certain things that we attach our memories and emotions to, but seemingly the strongest ones aren’t material things. They say that smells are the strongest memory triggers, but music also has a similar effect.
That’s why people online couldn’t understand how this woman could be so insensitive towards her step-sister by choosing the same wedding song as she had despite her ex-husband getting in a car crash that erased his memories of her.
More info: Reddit
Music can make us time travel and relive certain moments and this woman wants to force her half-sister to relive her wedding day
Image credits: Craig Adderley (not the actual image)
Because she chose the same first dance song to which her half-sister danced at her own wedding
Image credits: Erik Mclean (not the actual image)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
Image credits: u/throwawayaccount_978
Although now the song is bittersweet because of the accident her husband was in a few months after their wedding that resulted in him losing his memory
The song the Original Poster (OP) chose as the first dance song for her wedding is Come What May from the movie Moulin Rouge. There is no particular reason behind the choice as the OP just simply likes it so much and doesn't want to change it.
But she knows how special the song is to her half-sister. The story is that the half-sister and her now ex-husband first met at that movie and when they went on their first date, it was playing in the restaurant.
Maybe the song wouldn’t be such a big deal if the man hadn’t gotten in a bad wreck that damaged his brain to the point where he doesn’t even remember his wife. What adds to it is that according to the half-sister, when she sang the song to him, it seemed to spark something in his memory.
At first people thought that the OP can play any song she wants at her wedding, but at the same time, they suspected that there is more to the story and the woman is not telling everything. They were right, because when they found out about the tragedy, they called the OP the biggest jerk and were shocked by how insensitive she is to her half-sister.
They also added that the half-sister probably still loves her husband and the reason for divorce was because a single person could be eligible for insurance and because the man lives in a specialized nursing home, it must cost a lot.
Image credits: Анна Хазова (not the actual image)
You might have heard that smells evoke emotionally charged memories the easiest, but music does that just as easily. You don’t need to be a brain scientist to know how strongly we attach our emotions to music and how strongly those emotions can come back to us when we hear a particular piece of music.
But those who have studied the phenomenon explain that emotions or events get attached to songs through implicit memory. Shahram Heshmat, Ph.D. defines implicit memories as unconscious and automatic memories: “For example, playing a musical instrument, or recalling the words to a song when someone sings the first few words. A large part of memory takes place in the unconscious mind.” And it can last a lifetime.
That is why when an emotional event is paired with a song or a piece of music, hearing that music automatically comes with the emotions felt at the time. So for OP’s half-sister, it could be quite traumatic to relive her wedding day remembering how happy she was then, but has to face a different reality now.
Another very interesting thing is that there are reported cases of music provoking memories to people who have diseases related to memory loss. Practical Neurology says that “Musical perception, musical emotion, and musical memory can survive long after other forms of memory and cognitive function have disappeared.”
Not only do dementia patients remember songs and musical pieces, but “Music can elicit emotions and memories and help provide a link to a person’s past and promote interconnection with caregivers and others with dementia.”
So if you thought that the OP’s half-sister was being delusional when she said that her husband “looks like he remembers her" when she sang their wedding song, it could be that the husband actually remembered something because that is music’s effect on the brain.
Of course, music doesn’t have the same effect on everyone and maybe the OP never felt a deep connection to a memory through music, so she wasn’t aware that her choice of music was hurtful to her half-sister.
Do you think that there is even more to the story than was said in the post? Do you think the OP actually didn’t want to change the song or do you suspect it was on purpose? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
