Someone Online Wondered “What Was Normal To You As A Kid, But You Later Realized How Messed Up It Actually Was?” And 40 Delivered

My parents would move into the RV if the kids were sick and not let us near them. Not help. No support. No love. Also they would often just tell me to kick rocks if i was trying to have a conversation as a young preteen and teen.

I have kids now. They are sick right now. I still kiss them hug them hold my girls hair if shes puking.

I dont care if i get sick my faimy and kids mean so much to me that a cold means nothing.

I was very alone as a kid. My 3 kids will not feel this pain. Ever.

When I was 7, I came to the realization that if I showed any signs that I was in a good mood around my mother, she would find some reason to yell at me. Even started testing it, would walk into rooms she was in smiling vs not and proved my theory right, so I just stopped smiling, and it didn't take much longer for it to stop being an act.

I thought it was normal for peoples Mothers to be in bed all day. Got really freaked out when I saw other people's mothers up and around doing normal s**t.

Turned out mine was dying.

Thought it was normal to constantly apologize over even the slightest little f**k-up so I don't get screamed at. I still have this problem today.

I thought it was normal to walk on eggshells around my father to avoid having him blow up In anger over the littlest things such as crying, eating snacks, the tiniest bit of bickering, and whispering but there were many more examples. He was deployed alot when I was little and he received a lot of head trauma in the process which explains his actions and he is really adamant on changing his behavior towards us now and that makes me happy.

Parents used to wake me up at 4 am to make them a drink. I slept over a friends house one night and slept till 7 am! My first words to my friend were " Why didn't your parents wake us up at 4 am?" She said why would they? I said to make them a drink? I will never forget the look she gave me That was when I realized it wasn't normal, I was 12.

My mom's boyfriend would pick me up by my hair sometimes. It didn't hurt a s**t ton so I never complained, which in turn made him keep doing it.
My hair was always in a ponytail so it was easy to grab and do.
I told a coworker about it and laughed because it wasn't a terrible memory. But he didn't laugh like I did. It was more of a nervous laugh then he says "That's actually pretty f****d up." Then I started to think about all the stuff I actually do remember from my childhood and realized how s****y it really was. I have two kids and it was never a thought to ever pick them up by their hair.

We weren't just playing "Xtreme" hide and seek but rather being hidden so that he wouldn't hurt us to get at mom again.

Being hungry all the time. Being 7 years old and thinking how clever I was when I figured out dumpster diving.

Always being on edge at home because I never knew what mood my mum would be in

I remember my sister had this fake belly button ring she showed my dad. He immediately ripped it out which was quite painful. I asked if he even knew if it was fake and he didn’t.

He thought it was real and did that.

Being in elementary school and waking myself up for school, making all my own food, and walking myself 1-2 blocks to the bus stop while my mom slept. Making almost all meals for myself. I lived off of mushroom soup for lunch because that's all I could figure out how to cook.

Not being allowed to feel or express any type anger or sadness

I thought it was normal for dads to scream and throw things at their family every night.

I was in between my parents "divorce war" and then my mom fell ill, cancer. It killed her slowly and my dad made it more painful for everyone involved. I was 10 when it started and 16 when she passed. My dad made my life living hell for all this time, and still until I was about 19. It just stopped because I put my foot down and said enough. Also I have 2 younger brothers I was caring for all this time.

Having to beg your teacher to let you go to the bathroom- as a 16 year old

Being afraid of night time because it meant my dad would come home and scream at us/attack us. Thought all moms were sad and cried every day

I had been campaigning for a raise in my allowance for a long time. Finally, my mom caved and said she was giving me a boost from $5 /week to $20 / month. I was pretty proud of myself. Took me longer than I’d like to admit that mom worked me over pretty good.

My parents wouldn’t let me say “pee” or “poop” so I was walking around as a three year old saying things like “I have to have a bowel movement”

Being bullied and threatened with violence by your father and having your mother make excuses or outright blaming you for it.

"Well you know how he is." And "Well you shouldn't have stood up for yourself."

It destroyed my self-esteem and confidence growing up, it has taken years to rebuild myself. One good thing that has come from this, I don't yell at people or threaten people if they make me angry. In the best situation I am able to resolve conflict in a civil and respectful manner. Worst case I remove myself from the situation and go for a walk to clear my head so I can later reapproach the conflict with a cool head.