Childhood can be a very strange time, since one has all their senses but not a good frame of reference for things. The result is that new settings, be it a foreign country or just visiting a friend’s home for the first time. So it shouldn’t be surprising that upon getting to adulthood, people often see their entire childhood in a new light.
Someone asked “What’s a “normal” childhood experience you later realized was actually traumatic?” and people shared their experiences. Be warned, some of these get a bit dark. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own thoughts in the comments below.
#1
Never receiving any hugs from my parents. Or valuable advice. Not even when I cried/was hurt physically. Comfort was quite absent, too. I only realized few years ago when I saw an 17 year old teenager leaning against his dad and telling him about his struggles about an upcoming big decision.
Never have had that level of support and comfort and it still makes my eyes water when I think about it in weak moments. .
Never have had that level of support and comfort and it still makes my eyes water when I think about it in weak moments. .
85points
#2
Constantly walking on eggshells to avoid making my dad angry.
70points
#3
"Talking back". Turns out they just wanted me to be silent and have no opinion or feelings. My mother and stepfather used to constantly say how I was mouthy and constant talked back- well yeah, how else am I supposed to communicate? Smoke signals?
70points
#4
The silent treatment. I still assume that someone is angry when they’re quiet. I’m 70.
69points
#5
I wasn't really allowed to complain or express frustration with my experiences because someone in my family had had it worse when they were my age.
69points
#6
Being told ‘stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about’—like, oh cool, emotional suppression unlocked at age 5.
65points
#7
Getting teased and/or made fun or for liking certain things as a young child.
My older sister often teased me for the tv shows i liked to watch and made fun of my drawings when i created my own pokemon for example.
Same thing in school.
I still remember every single instance in of it in detail. To this day i dont like to share my passions with people and supress strong displays if positive emotions around others.
My older sister often teased me for the tv shows i liked to watch and made fun of my drawings when i created my own pokemon for example.
Same thing in school.
I still remember every single instance in of it in detail. To this day i dont like to share my passions with people and supress strong displays if positive emotions around others.
63points
#8
Always getting ‘constructive criticism’ instead of praise. Draw a picture? “That looks weird, you should fix the eyes on that.” Make a painting? “You chose weird colors. I wouldn’t have done it like that.” Get a 95% on a school project? “Why didn’t you get 100%?” It created people-pleasing tendencies which led to never feeling like anything I do is ENOUGH. I’m grown and married to a man who thinks sunshine radiates from my pores, but still feel often that my best isn’t great.
63points
#9
Being told to eat everything on my plate, regardless of whether I was still hungry or not. I now have no idea when I’m full unless I’m over full.
61points
#10
Being a parent's therapist. You shouldn't be talking someone out of s*****e when you're 12.
55points
#11
Being made fun of when you go to parent with an uncomfortable situation. I was at a sleepover and another girl wanted to “play house” by laying on top of me. I was so uncomfortable I wanted to go home and afterwards my mom made fun of me for it. Guess who never went to their mom with feelings again.
54points
#12
Waiting for my dad to be in a good mood to ask him something.
51points
#13
Thinking that I’m inherently a mean, evil, broken person at age like….8 or 9.
When I watched inside out 2 it honestly shocked me that Riley thought she was inherently a good person lol.
When I watched inside out 2 it honestly shocked me that Riley thought she was inherently a good person lol.
51points
#14
My uncle tickling me until I cried.
49points
#15
Every time I had knee pain and told my mom I wanted to go to the doctor I always got “you think that’s bad? You wanna hear about all of my problems?!”
That was until my cartridge broke off and it was floating around under my skin by the time I was in high school.
That was until my cartridge broke off and it was floating around under my skin by the time I was in high school.
48points
#16
Being told we have no where to live at the end of the month. Everything being hand-me-downs and smelling like other people, you never feel settled, like you’re in a strangers house, bed and clothes.
Poverty, real poverty in general. Don’t have kids if you can’t afford a great life for them.
Poverty, real poverty in general. Don’t have kids if you can’t afford a great life for them.
47points
#17
Avoiding my dad when I could tell that he was angry.
46points
#18
Being ‘spanked’ with a leather belt doubled over.
I had broke yard sticks and wooden spoons so.. they ‘had’ to find something g else.
I don’t even remember what I did wrong?!… I know I was a ‘bad kid’ but I honestly don’t remember doing bad things. 🤷🏻♀️.
I had broke yard sticks and wooden spoons so.. they ‘had’ to find something g else.
I don’t even remember what I did wrong?!… I know I was a ‘bad kid’ but I honestly don’t remember doing bad things. 🤷🏻♀️.
43points
#19
Pretty much my entire childhood, it wasn't normal to be at the pub till close on a school night with the local alcoholics helping me with my homework,
It wasn't normal to be kicked out of the pub and be taking to the complete strangers house so it they could carry on drinking.
It wasn't normal to beg your mum while crying to turn the music down so you could get some sleep.
It wasnt normal for the kids at school to push you down the stairs or follow you home throwing rocks and rubbish at you.
That most kids didn't get themselves up for school, skipping breakfast cuz you couldn't reach the cereal, then carefully pick your way past the needles, glass and human s**t to get out of the estate so you could get there.
It wasn't normal to be kicked out of the pub and be taking to the complete strangers house so it they could carry on drinking.
It wasn't normal to beg your mum while crying to turn the music down so you could get some sleep.
It wasnt normal for the kids at school to push you down the stairs or follow you home throwing rocks and rubbish at you.
That most kids didn't get themselves up for school, skipping breakfast cuz you couldn't reach the cereal, then carefully pick your way past the needles, glass and human s**t to get out of the estate so you could get there.
42points
#20
Unintentionally traumatic: "They're just bullying you because they're jealous of how smart/pretty you are!"
Oh cool, make me feel ashamed of my positive traits AND it's my fault for getting bullied for existing. Win-win!
Oh cool, make me feel ashamed of my positive traits AND it's my fault for getting bullied for existing. Win-win!
42points