30 Low-Key Red Flags In Friendships That May Go Unnoticed Until It’s Too Late

You get nervous and have to be really careful what you say because anything can set them off.

The biggest indication is you go "ugh" when you see their name on your phone. Think about why you have that reaction.

Always one-upping. This doesn’t refer to sharing their own story in response to yours, that’s pretty normal. It’s more about how you can never have the focus remain on you, it always becomes about them.

Shifting the blame onto someone else each time it’s actually their fault.

I guess this might be a little obvious, but if they do something wrong and end up giving you the cold shoulder because you get mad at them for it, and you end up being the one to mend the bridge even though they were the one who did something wrong... yeah that's a bad sign.

Treating you differently when you’re around other people- acting embarrassed, disgusted, condescendingly, reserved. It happened to me personally and it took a while for me to understand it fully, but babes don’t stick your necks out for someone who wouldn’t even lift a pinky for you.

They only talk about themselves.. that's literally the only noise coming from their face hole.

They don't actually bother to message you, if you message first they'll engage for a bit, but not actually message you first.

Being interrupted mid sentence constantly. We all interrupt sometimes, but when it’s frequent and one is unable to finish even a story, opinion, or train of thought then it’s pretty obvious that friend is not interested in you, not really.

Feeling like they're trying to micromanage you. I had a former friend who, among other things, would constantly be monitoring everything I said/posted on social media.

I already have to deal with a lack of privacy at home. If I can choose not to associate with someone who doesn't respect boundaries, then I won't.

When it feels as though you do all the giving and they do all the taking.

Expecting me to 100% back them even if they're clearly in the wrong.

Plans always have to be whatever they want, and they get sulky if you want to do something you enjoy.

You always come put of an argument feeling exausted and nothing was really solved

This CAN be obvious, but it's also easy to write off as the conversation not working out. Getting to the root of the problem is important, the people who fight against that are generally going to be pretty toxic, whether they mean to be or not.

When they're obsessively competitive. Such as when you share a bad experience, they go and say "That's it?" then say that their experiences are worse. Like, come on man lemme b***h about my cheating father who chose to stay with his woman instead of making me feel like s**t then rant about your grandmother taking your laptop away because you failed Science.

When they can't keep plans consistent. If they're consistently last-minute dropping/changing plans, then it's a sign that you're their second-best option. You're their backup if nothing else is better.

Unquestionable support. Some people I know have a very loyal group of friends and it drives me insane and I really want to keep my distance from that bunch. Because I know what happens if any of their friends once criticizes them - they are able to cut off friendship altogether at once because of that.

Most of my friends tell each other harsh criticism and insult each other all the time and I think we have much more trust in each other because of that.

If you always feel like s**t around them.

It’s not always what they do. It’s often times how you react to what they do. When you start overlooking red flags because you really like someone it’s important to recognize it and allow yourself to make a rational decision. So many non obvious red flags happen because we don’t want to see them. We are happy and don’t want to believe them. But it’s better to be rational early then realize your stuck later on.

‘I seem to attract people who are s****y friends.’

Said to me by someone who boundary stomped, gossiped, talked about herself incessantly, Facebook stalked my other friends, got jealous when I spoke to people who weren’t her and tried to insert herself
Into every part of my life during the 18 months we knew each other.