If you truly love someone, you’ll accept them as they are. Hearing your partner sing in the shower or snore loudly shouldn’t suddenly make you question everything. But sometimes, it takes being in a committed relationship to clearly see all of the red flags your partner is waving.
Women on Reddit have recently been opening up about the niche red flags that they didn’t spot in their exes until they had already been dating for a while. From being obsessed with luxury goods to believing in dragons, apparently, not everyone advertises their worst qualities on the first date. But we hope you’ll enjoy scrolling through this list, and be sure to upvote the behaviors and traits that would be deal-breakers for you too!
#21
Not giving me any compliments. Expecting me to just believe that he likes me just because he exists. Not looking into my eyes even during intimacy. Answering with "Understood" when I was sharing my feelings. In general being very lukewarm. Being more affectionate to a cat than to me (when I asked why, his answer was "well you're not a cat"). I'm shocked I wasted my time with that dude and had to really dig into my traumas to understand why I ended up there. I left after two and a half months but it still was quite traumatizing.
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#22
4 years in “I’ve never had an emotional connection with anyone including my family”.
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#23
He was secretly obsessed with Marilyn Monroe. I went to his childhood home for the first time and his room was covered from floor to ceiling with calendar cutouts and posters, with a large poster on the ceiling over his bed. And then I found a Marilyn tie, cigarette lighter, Christmas ornaments, pillowcases, and other “collectors” items in the dresser.
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#24
He struggled to regulate his emotions.
My nervous system often did not feel safe around him.
My nervous system often did not feel safe around him.
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#25
He got some kind of mouth infection after eating from a plate he hadn’t washed for a long period of time.
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#28
Did not want to talk about any ex-girlfriend ever.
Didn’t think that getting to know one’s neighbors (after living in the same house for multiple years) was a good idea.
What was this guy afraid of?
He had major AUD.
Didn’t think that getting to know one’s neighbors (after living in the same house for multiple years) was a good idea.
What was this guy afraid of?
He had major AUD.
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#29
Being obsessed with selvedge denim. I have never met a man who was obsessed with selvedge denim and emotionally healthy. My "ex" (loosely termed as we didn't go out for long) was sooo self-obsessed/superior about it, and so was every one of his friends also in this selvedge denim cult. The man literally had a "supplier" in Japan whom he would never stop bragging about. It was like every conversation with him would eventually circle back to selvedge denim.
Honestly, I love fashion, but my experience with straight men who also love fashion has been ghastly. I dated a few because of common interests, but omg they were all just insufferable about it and super snobby/gate keep-y rather than celebrating the fun parts. I'm sure I was probably just unlucky or something, but there's definitely at least a pink flag that pops up in my brain every time I meet one of those guys.
Honestly, I love fashion, but my experience with straight men who also love fashion has been ghastly. I dated a few because of common interests, but omg they were all just insufferable about it and super snobby/gate keep-y rather than celebrating the fun parts. I'm sure I was probably just unlucky or something, but there's definitely at least a pink flag that pops up in my brain every time I meet one of those guys.
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