Statistics are merciless and inexorable—no matter how sincerely we swear eternal love at the altar, the divorce rate nowadays is 2.5 per 1,000 population. That's lower than a quarter of a century ago, but still a hell of a lot. And where there are divorces, there are remarriages and, of course, the problem of stepmothers and stepfathers to kids.
Children often have conflicts with step-parents, and there are many studies explaining this from a psychological point of view. However, there are also reverse cases, when, for example, a stepmother tries so hard to become a “true, decent mom” for the kids and perceives their biological mom as a “problem.” This happened in a situation with user u/InternationalTaro233, the author of today’s tale.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a mom of 2 sons, who she's co-parenting with her ex-partner
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The ex-spouses stayed on good terms but everything changed when the man re-married a few years ago
Image credits: InternationalTaro233
Image credits: Alex Green / Pexels (not the actual photo)
That lady always tried to push the author out of her kids' lives, trying to impose herself as their "true mom"
Image credits: InternationalTaro233
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The parents ended up in court several times over this—and each time, the judge sided with the boys' real mom
Image credits: InternationalTaro233
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It turned out that the new wife couldn't have her own biological kids, and they were rejected for adoption—so the issues went on
Image credits: InternationalTaro233
Recently, after having a spat with the husband, the lady showed up at the author's place, seeking her compassion—but was just brushed off
So, the Original Poster (OP) is now 33 years old, and seven years ago, she split up with her partner, leaving their two sons—now 11 and 9 years old—in a co-parenting situation. The author claims that they split up peacefully, and for the first few years, they were on good terms, sharing the responsibilities of raising their kids. Until a few years ago, when the man found himself a new wife...
This woman, as it turned out, was overly zealous in her role as a stepmom to the children, always trying to push our heroine out of the upbringing process. She tried to impose herself on the boys as "their true mom," which, of course, they didn’t like—and she took any contact between the original poster and her sons to heart.
The case even went to court several times—and each time, despite the woman’s desperate attempts to present herself as the only real mom, the judge invariably upheld the verdict in favor of the OP. Things got even worse when it turned out that the new wife couldn't have her own biological children, and they were rejected for adoption. The OP probably thinks that the spouses began having arguments over this.
So, one day, this lady went to our heroine's house and, upset, literally demanded some compassion from her. But, of course, she didn't get what she was looking for. The author didn't want to support the person who had been consistently making her life miserable for years, so she simply rolled her eyes at her and left, leaving the lady to shower her with insults outside.
However, after some time, our heroine's ex called her and said that she owes his wife an apology for rolling her eyes at her, and in general, in his personal opinion, she should grow up a little. The author, however, completely disagreed with this—so she simply decided to seek support online.
Image credits: noxos / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"Apparently, this woman felt insecure over her possible issues with having her own biological children - and tried to compensate for this by imposing herself as a mother on her stepkids," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, who Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "It's not surprising that nothing good came of it."
"This attitude looks like an obsession, and one should distinguish between simply being a decent stepmom and trying to replace a real mom for the kids. And the subsequent events—when this woman tried to find sympathy from the person she had been pestering for so long—this is only confirmation that the problem is precisely in her emotional state."
"I think it’s worth advising this woman to undergo therapy, to understand her own problems, what’s in her own head—and then try to solve subsequent issues. In any case, I do think it was not for nothing that the guardianship authorities rejected this couple’s adoption papers..." Irina ponders.
Commenters also supported the OP, assuring her that she had done the right thing all along by defending her sons and her parenthood. And that there can be no compassion for someone trying to push her out of her own kids’ lives. Some folks even felt it was necessary to get the police involved. “I think you need a no contact order against her,” someone added. And do you, our dear readers, agree with this?
People in the comments supported our heroine, also urging her to get a no-contact order against the lady
