Turns out, you don’t need to embark on an epic fantasy quest to a realm far, far away to find that one true love. Or maybe you do? It all depends on what corporeal existence you consider the friendzone to be.
In any case, it shouldn’t be too far of a trek, as someone made of quality boyfriend material is actually what you’d colloquially call a nerd. And if he exudes an aura of nerdiness with a bunch of Star Wars, Harry Potter, Dungeons and Dragons and other kinds of geeky swag, he’s a keeper, and we have folks arguing just how true that is.
More Info: TikTok
"Where the hell y'all be finding these men that are obsessed with you, are good fathers, can take care you, spoil you...?"
"They're nerds. They're nerds! You go for the nerd."
Image credits: @theisabelbrown
"It honestly blows my mind how we have this entire trope in American literature and movies and TV shows about..."
"... the nerdy girl who gets the glow up when she grows up and she was this unsuspecting girl next door, always nose in a book, loves the fantasy series and movies girl who then becomes super hot and amazing. But we don't see that for men."
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
"I want you to hear me loud and clear when I say this, so listen up:"
"if he owns a lightsaber—green flag. If he has purchased a wand from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter—greenest possible flag. If he has an unhealthy obsession with Ahsoka Tano, you better run to the altar."
"Bonus points if he's obsessed with Monopoly because those little underestimated nerd boys grow up to be men who see what's in here [gestures at the heart]."
Image credits: @theisabelbrown
You can check out the full video below
So, the internet was all in on the idea that you gotta go for the nerds. More often than not, they've gone through the right kind of training to make them boyfriend material
Image credits: Alex Kotliarskyi (not the actual photo)
So, TikTok user @thequeenisbackkkk, a.k.a. Riley, raised a question that’s been on people’s minds for quite a while, it seems: “Where the hell y'all be finding these men that are obsessed with you, are good fathers, can take care of you, spoil you…?”
You get the point.
Some time later (like, nearly a year after the original video… actually, many stitches later too), the video was picked up by Isabel Brown, streamer, author, and overall influencer, who gave a quick, spot-on answer to Riley saying that it’s nerds.
She continued to say just how baffling it is to think that there’s this entire American trope about a shy, ultra nerdy girl becoming this hot and amazing woman through plot developments and the like, but there is no equivalent for men. Well, there should be.
Isabel cut to the chase and explained that if a guy owns a lightsaber, if they’ve recently bought a wand from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, if they like Ahsoka Tano or [insert quite literally any other mega nerdy thing here], that is a huge green flag walking right in front you and you should do everything within your power to make that man yours.
Bonus if the guy loves Monopoly (a bit of an interesting one, but OK) because “those little underestimated nerd boys grow up to be men who see what's in here [gestures at the heart].”
While humorous, it's important to look out for things like lightsabers, LEGO, Harry Potter wands and general talk about anime in a potential boyfriend
Image credits: Adhen Wijaya Kusuma (not the actual photo)
Oh, no, this ain’t the end, folks. This was actually the beginning of an overdue discussion, a key part of which was @UrDivorceSurvivalGuide’s input. He elaborated on this saying two key things:
The first is that nerds are the people who are always outside looking in. They get excluded from all the cool kid social circles and hence observe them from the outside. That way, they see what’s the good, the bad and the ugly and so they develop positive traits because they get an understanding of the toxicity of jock, pretty boy and other cool kid cultures.
Pair that up with anime, which, more often than not, teaches values that the cool kids are too busy to learn when it comes to love, compassion, honor, perseverance and the like, and you’ve got yourself a nerd who’s also a good person.
These days, most nerds are also keen on improving themselves physically too. This naturally led to them losing the stereotypical nerdy look in favor of a healthily buff person who can bench press not just emotional baggage, but physical as well.
Another TikToker, @ramblinglifter, attested to this. He is a nerd by definition: he works in IT, dabbles in tech, plays games, loves anime, all that jazz. However, his looks—because he worked on those—tend to attract a certain demographic of women. Women who see a jock or a pretty boy in the person, ignoring the nerdiness, which is part of his identity.
What this ultimately boils down to is these types of women don’t have the motivation to accept the nerdiness in nerds. By proxy, they don’t accept the nerd for who he is, and so his needs aren’t met that way. And so it ends up not working out.
It is important to note that women don’t have to be nerds themselves in such a scenario—they do, however, have to like the person and accept and embrace who they are. And if they happen to be a nerd, it just happens to be a part of them.
It is also important to note that going for a nerd for the nerdy quality as a token and not as part of who they are is just not a good romance strategy. Not everyone is for everyone, and prioritizing finding a person that fits you rather than a person who possesses nerdy qualities just because is not going to end well, and its best to save that time and energy for the right guy or gal before dating fatigue kicks in. In fact, this is what some folks online were concerned about—the fact that nerds aren't for everyone, and that is fine. Because there are non-nerds for them.
Image credits: RDNE stock project (not the actual photo)
A discussion was buzzing in the comment section under Isabel’s video too. The first thing folks suggested checking is the aforementioned friendzone. A lot of nerds end up there one way or another, and there ain’t no shame in taking a peek there to see if you accidentally imprisoned someone there.
Believe it or not, LEGO even chimed in and added another green flag, which was if the guy owns a LEGO set, that’s a very good sign. And Isabel agreed by liking the comment.
Hands down, one of the main topics in the comments was folks pointing out a prime example of a nerd who’s unlike any other—Henry Cavill. Yep, Superman, Geralt of Rivia, Napoleon Solo, that guy built his own computer from scratch, he likes gaming, is in love with a number of fandoms, but otherwise looks like the next step after being a Greek god.
But what are the chances of finding a guy who’s a nerd? Don’t know, but someone did dare to calculate the chances of finding a soulmate. Considering the number of statistics the author referenced to base her reasoning on, the conclusion is this:
Imagine a bowl with 50 balls, all labeled with numbers. Say your soulmate is a particular number—what are the chances of picking that particular one with your eyes closed (get it, love is blind…?). Probably quite low. But despite that, you still have a chance, and if it doesn’t work out, you now have a bowl with 49 balls and your chances are now higher.
So, stay positive out there, y’all. And stay active with your fingers mashing that keyboard in the comment section below!
Folks online were quick to comment on other green flags and to discuss a prime example of a hot nerdy guy, i.e. Henry Cavill
There were some skeptics in the bunch too
