There’s no single recipe for dealing with bad neighbors. Every situation and relationship is unique. That being said, there are still principles and strategies that you can broadly apply in most circumstances. Spoiler warning: everything revolves around proper communication and holding your ground while also not being overly pushy.
Reader’s Digest suggests that you try to strike a diplomatic balance when interacting with toxic people next door. “You want to do your best to defuse the situation without going to DEFCON 1 right away—after all, you have to live next to these people for years—but you also shouldn’t be a pushover.”
There are plenty of ways to tackle problems with your neighbors. One of the best tools in your arsenal is simply talking to them face-to-face. Many issues can be simple misunderstandings. You should try to actively listen to the people next door while you ask them questions about whatever it is that bothers you.
If you’re not able to speak with your neighbors in person or if a friendly chat solved nothing, then try emailing them or sending them a text message. The upside here is that now you have a written record of the issue. Keeping a digital or paper trail can be invaluable if things escalate further in the future.
Reader’s Digest also suggests asking a mediator to step in as a neutral third party to help oversee the resolution of the conflict.
One potential issue with this is that if you ask another neighbor to be your mediator, they might escalate the conflict further if they’re not impartial.
Alternatively, if your problem is a serious one, you can talk to your local homeowners association about it, potentially securing a hearing with the board.
Of course, if you fear for your safety, your neighbor is violent, or there’s immediate danger, you should immediately contact the authorities.
Meanwhile, depending on the severity of the situation, you might want to escalate the conflict to the highest level by seeking legal representation and taking your neighbor to court.
In the meantime, Time magazine states that if you’re dealing with noisy neighbors, you should consider talking with them about this the next day, when you’re well-rested. That way, you’re “less likely to snap.”
If you can, phrase your request for peace and quiet in a collaborative way, such as, “Do you think we could find a quiet window after 10 p.m. on weeknights so we can both get enough sleep?”
By being more diplomatic, you’re focused on solving the problem at hand, instead of blaming your neighbor (even if they’re fully in the wrong). Personal attacks, over-the-top judgment, and a holier-than-thou attitude aren’t as effective as directly looking for solutions.
