There are two kinds of neighbors out there. The ones who make you thank your lucky stars they ended up living nearby. And the ones who make you wonder what you did in your past life to deserve them.
One Redditor and their neighbors had started organizing casual movie nights in their apartment building, and at first, it seemed like a pretty great arrangement. That was until one man decided to advertise the event online and charge strangers $5 to attend without asking anyone else. What had been a fun little get-together quickly turned into a complete mess.
A group of neighbors had been enjoying regular movie nights in their apartment building
Until one person found a way to ruin it for everyone
Being a good neighbor is something of an art, and people seem to be losing touch with it
Do you have the phone number of any of your neighbors? Do you know at least a few of their names, or have you ever stopped for a proper chat instead of giving them a quick nod in the hallway?
If you answered yes, you may be doing better than a lot of people. These days, we seem to be losing the art of neighboring, or simply knowing and talking to the people who live around us.
Recent research from the Survey Center on American Life found that only 40% of Americans talk to their neighbors at least a few times a week, down from 59% in 2012. Among young adults, the change is even bigger. Just 25% regularly talk to their neighbors today, compared with 51% in 2012.
There are plenty of reasons for that. Eric Klinenberg, a sociology professor at New York University, told Vox that people were much more likely to socialize with their neighbors 60 years ago.
Back then, staying in touch with people who lived far away took more effort. As he put it, “Long distance phone calls were expensive! Email did not exist.” Naturally, more of people’s social lives happened close to home.
Daily life looks very different now. Klinenberg points out that many Americans work long hours and come home with little energy left for socializing. The internet has changed things too. It is much easier to maintain friendships with people who live far away, while social media lets us connect with people based on shared interests instead of where they happen to live.
It’s a shame because you never really know when being on speaking terms with your neighbors might come in handy. Maybe you need someone to water your plants while you are away. If there is an emergency, having someone nearby who knows you and is willing to help can make a real difference.
Not to mention, life is simply nicer when you have a “village” around you, even if it takes a little effort on everyone’s part. It could lead to movie nights like the one in this story or, if everyone is feeling adventurous, even a shared garden. Over time, traditions like that give people more reasons to spend time together and make the place they live feel more like home.
Being on good terms with your neighbors also makes disagreements easier to handle. You have to admit, it’s not exactly pleasant to knock on a stranger’s door and tell them their music is driving you mad.
It’s a very different conversation when you’re texting Jessica or George, whose cat you’ve fed on more than one occasion, to ask if they could turn it down a little, complete with a polite little pleading-hands emoji.
Of course, keeping up with every person living nearby may sound like a full-time job in itself. Thankfully, it does not have to be.
Harvard sociologist Robert J. Sampson told Vox that neighbors don’t need to become close friends for those relationships to be valuable. His research suggests that communities work well when people are simply loosely connected and willing to help one another when needed.
In this story, the fact that the Redditor and their neighbors had such a nice tradition going makes the whole thing especially frustrating. One person soured it by making a decision for everyone without even bothering to ask if they were okay with it, turning what was supposed to be a fun night into a messy one. Hopefully, they can sort things out and keep the movie nights alive. What do you think?
Readers pointed out that what the man did could have had serious legal consequences, so ending the movie night then and there was probably the right call
