Hey Pandas, What Should I Do About My Relationship After My Boyfriend Didn’t Stand Up For Me?

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I have worked for large international companies all my life as an upper-management executive assistant. I would have liked to get a bachelor’s degree when I was a young adult, but my mother died of cancer when I was 17 years old, and I had to provide for my younger sister because my father stopped buying groceries.

So, I worked hard all my life, climbing up the administrative support ladder all the way to the top, but I still felt unfulfilled. I waited for my three children to be older (teenagers) to take university classes at night and pursue a bachelor’s degree in business management. That didn’t sit well with my ex-husband (my children’s father), and we ended up getting a divorce. I obtained a certificate in business management, but that deterred me from pursuing a full bachelor’s degree at that time.

I then met another man, and my children and I moved in with him. It’s been 8 years of ups and downs, as he himself has three younger children. We still manage our finances separately.

A few months ago, I started experiencing major burnout at work (in a big pharma company) because I felt stuck in this executive assistant role, so I am on sick leave now.

I helped him by setting up all the administration and marketing aspects and supported him financially while he studied to get his general contractor license.

Six months ago, an old friend of his suggested they become associates to establish a construction stripping company. This friend had contacts to help jumpstart the project, but he didn’t have the required general contractor license, and a past felony conviction prevented him from founding a new company. At first, he wanted my boyfriend to adopt a passive role in this project by having his adult daughter act as President, but I convinced my boyfriend to protect his general contractor license by requiring that he be appointed as President in this new venture. So, he did, and they agreed and became partners.

Lately, they have experienced management challenges and financial losses, as they lack the knowledge and experience. I gave them some advice that helped them solve some problems, but I won’t work on structuring this multi-million-dollar company while I’m on sick leave and for no pay. So, they offered me a permanent consultant job on their payroll. It should be noted that the business associate’s daughter works as VP of administration in this company.

Since I don’t trust the business partner and wanted to cover my back, I asked that a list of my responsibilities be stated in the contract and that a provision be included that, if I was laid off during the first year of working for them, I would receive a severance package equivalent to one year’s salary. They agreed, and we signed the contract. Please bear in mind that my boyfriend also knows that my burnout was primarily caused by my dissatisfaction with low-challenge administrative work.

Lo and behold, 24 hours prior to my first day at work, they (my boyfriend, the President, and his partner’s daughter, the VP of administration) called me in for a meeting and informed me that they would require me to spend 20 hours per week taking care of the reception area and other basic administrative work.

The VP also mentioned that she was uncomfortable with the one-year severance clause in my contract.

The VP said not to show up for work. I am very upset, to say the least, since my boyfriend didn’t stand up for me in that meeting. A few hours later, I wrote them an email saying I would consider what my legal options are. I booked a hotel room to get away from my boyfriend for a few days and decide if I want to continue in this relationship or not, all the while still being out of a job with three children dependent on me. I’m at a loss. Am I overreacting, or should I call it quits with him?