Last year I spent close to $1,500 to go visit my son. I live in Turkey and this had been planned for some time. The amount included my airfare and hotel accommodations. The day I arrived I was picked up by my son and his wife. The minute I hugged my son I could sense something was wrong. Mothers intuition and my sixth sense. We went for lunch and then they dropped me off at my hotel stating they would see me tomorrow. Mind you, it is only about 4 pm and I thought it was a little unusual for them to leave so quickly. I nixed the feelings I had and went swimming. That evening I called to say hello. He did not ask me if I had eaten, was hungry or needed anything. Mind you, I don’t have a rental car so I was dependent on him for transportation. I was supposed to stay a total of seven days and then fly back to Arizona, where I was staying in between my trip to see my son. About 5 days into the trip I decided to text my son to ask him if there was a problem. It was Saturday night and I had been there since Tuesday. During this whole time I seen my son maybe 2-3 hours a day. He did not invite me to his house at all. We would go somewhere to eat and then maybe make a run to a store or the base exchange and then they would drop me off at the hotel. I was left to fend for myself the rest of the time. He did not call me once to ask if I had gotten dinner, did I need a ride to I pick up something to eat, or just check in and say hello. I explained how I felt and asked him why had he not invited me to his house as he had done the year before. He told him I felt like I was spending most of my time in the hotel then actually spending time with him, his wife and my step grandson. He responded with “you are too clingy”, “I don’t need a mom or dad” and “I don’t like people in my home”. I was blown away, hurt and just absolutely overwhelmed that he would say this to me. We had just spent the last year talking frequently by FaceTime and text. At no point did he give any indication that he was feeling this way. I wrote back to explain to him how much I loved him and what it meant to me the day I had him. I explained that when you have your first child the love you feel is overwhelming. It is a love that cannot be explained until you go through it. My son has chosen not to have children of his own and that his stepson is enough. I have NO issues regarding his decision in any way, shape or form. He responded that I was putting down his stepson because he was not biological. I love my sons stepson very much. He is an awesome kid and I am very proud of how my son has stepped up to plate to raise this child who is not his own. He has done an amazing job and I have told him this continually. He have apologized profusely and tried to explain to him that I spoke about how I felt the day I had him and it has nothing to do with his stepson. He has not contacted in the last year. Not one holiday has he called me. Was I wrong to bring to his attention how I felt?
SEP 16, 2022