I composed this song Spotlight following the suicides of two of my musical heroes. It is both a conduit for my grief at the tragic losses of Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington, and message about the reality of sadness and isolation experienced by artists in the entertainment industry.
After their suicides, I reflected on my own battles with depression. Its dark shadows can turn what should be a happy life lived in the spotlight, while achieving artistic success, into a spiral of desperation. As a performer, I wanted to show what it feels like from my point of view when I’m struggling with depression - I’m on the stage doing what I do best, wearing a painted clown smile for all to enjoy, and all the while I’m dying on the inside.
Depression is so often misunderstood and misinterpreted that even the people experiencing it don't see it for what it is. Rather than turning the gun on myself, I release this song and video into the world as an offering, to liberate myself and to bring understanding to all of us who experience this.