First of all, let's establish that playing with someone's feelings and emotions is NOT considered being a musician. Witticisms aside, musicians are a different breed. These people know that the course to stardom and fame can be grueling at times. Not just anyone can play the drums for Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" or do backing vocals for the one and only Beyoncé. And that can be upsetting sometimes, but don't worry, dear rockstars, we have something to cheer you up.
English teachers have silly jokes made about them, mothers-in-law have funny jokes too, and so do musicians. Though we Pandas can't play anything, thanks to our chonky paws, we especially appreciate the tone of musician jokes and how fun they sound. We are good at wordplay, though! Funny musician jokes are essential when you feel things might not end on a high note. Still, most of the worries we face on a daily basis really are just minor inconveniences that can quickly be resolved by cracking a musician joke or two. And heck, if anything, just play it by ear! Alright, think we have overdone it with the puns; we will rock-and-roll ourselves out. For heaven's sake…
Enough with silly puns, and let's go back to musician humor, which, let's agree, is simply unmatched! Whether you are looking for clean musician jokes to crack with your bandmates or need jokes to tell between songs, whatever the case might be, we've got you covered. Below, we've compiled some of the best jokes about musicians and, most importantly, jokes FOR musicians!
#1

The fact that there’s a Highway To Hell but only a Stairway To Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
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#2
Many people told Beethoven that he would never be a musician because he was deaf, but...
Did he listen?
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#3
What’s the difference between a piano player and God?
God doesn’t think he’s a piano player.
God doesn’t think he’s a piano player.
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#4

The Music Festival's excitement came to a halt as soon as The Police appeared on the stage.
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#5
What do you call a gentleman?
Someone who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't.
Someone who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't.
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#6
How many vocalists does it take to screw in a bulb?
None. They hold the bulb over their head and the world revolves around them.
None. They hold the bulb over their head and the world revolves around them.
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#7

Glissando: A technique adopted by string players for difficult runs.
Perfect Pitch: When you throw a viola into the toilet and it doesn't hit the sides.
Relative minor: A guitarist's girlfriend.
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#8
What did the classical music performing Boy Band name themselves? The Bach Street Boys.
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#9
Why did Mozart find chicken annoying? Because they kept going, “Bach, bach, bach!”
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#10
"Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a guitar player!"
"But darling, you can’t do both..."
"But darling, you can’t do both..."
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#11

How are trumpet players like pirates?
They're both murder on the high Cs.
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#12
How does one trumpet player greet another?
"Hi. I'm better than you."
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#13

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A vocalist.
A vocalist.
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#14
The monk finally found who his favorite band was. He realized it when he achieved Nirvana.
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#15
What's the last thing a drummer says before getting kicked out of a band?
Guys, when are we going to record my songs?
Guys, when are we going to record my songs?
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#16

How many guitar players does it to take to change a lightbulb?
5... One to change and 4 to say they could have done it better.
5... One to change and 4 to say they could have done it better.
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#17
The band’s performance was so bad they decided to give the fans a refund. Every Nickleback.
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#18
What did the Spanish musician say after they left the sound booth?
Audios.
Audios.
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#19

What do you call that beautiful blonde on the bass player's shoulder?
A tattoo.
A tattoo.
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#20
How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
Pay him for the pizza.
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