Valentine’s Day Is Coming, So I Made These 35 Selfie Date Cardboard Cutouts At Sunset To Get You In The Mood

Prancer doesn't really like to have his antlers decorated; I know that. But he knows how much I like to do it, so he humors me. As I string the lights and hang the bulbs, he doesn't snort or get impatient or sigh like some reindeer might. He just stands there and waits and lets me be happy. True friends are like that.

I asked her to meet me out under the full moon and was hoping things would heat up. I could almost imagine her passionate breath in my ear.

After dinner, the stork took me for a ride around the lake. It was a perfect moment. But then, some dates are better than others.

It wasn't going to work. Yes, she was smart and older than she looked. And yes she was funny and cute and well read and all that. But she didn't say anything on her dating profile about being a peanut, and I was deathly allergic.

Ever since the scissors accident, kissing her has been a risk. But she is so worth it.

She ended up being an evil snowwoman. Luckily, I never go anywhere without my hairdryer.

I liked her right away. We met at the beach and she just said, "Hop in!"

Kimble promised he'd come find me when the first snow fell. I'm not sure where he came from but...there he was.

For anyone who thinks a horse might make a good kayak partner, think again. On our date around the lake, Philly didn’t pick up her paddle once.

Other than, "No, no. I think they look really natural," I tried hard not to talk about lips on our first date.

‘Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
not even a mouse.

Well, actually one mouse
was up stirring with me
Blending the milk in my
hot cup of tea.

She held a big spoon
moved it down and then up
As she stirred from the rim
of my Christmas teacup.

I watched her and waited
and enjoyed all the clinking
Of her spoon in the cup
that I soon would be drinking.

While I held her small saucer
trying hard not to spill it
Though it didn’t hold much
just a few drops could fill it.

But we weren’t in a hurry.
She could stir there all night
As the snow gently settled
As the sun lost its light.

Because after this year
that seemed never to end
It was just nice to spend time
stirring tea with a friend.

She asked if I wanted kids and I said, "Oh, yeah. A boy and a girl would be amazing." But I could tell that wasn't the answer she was hoping for. "How about you?" I asked back.

Heather sipped her sunflower tea and blinked her black beady eyes then said, "I don't know. I've always wanted a big family. When I was growing up, we had thirty-five babies a year throughout my mother's breeding lifecycle."

So that was kind of a deal breaker, but it was still a nice date. After dinner, as we walked along the beach, some samba music started playing somewhere in the distance, and we danced at the water's edge until long after the sunset faded and a star-filled sky appeared overhead.

Jennifer is not going to get the treat until she learns to sit properly. I hate to be strict with her, but my new puppies need to know I am the boss.

When it came time to order, I took a guess. "I'll have the fish," I told the waiter, "and my date will have the roast beef."

She wanted to go snorkeling on our first date. But she had to do it her way.