Enough with the child-appropriate humor! It's time for some dirt and filth that we all secretly crave—dirty dad jokes, X-rated jokes, and corny jokes for adults that would not be so school-appropriate. And don't be shy; even if you don't like (lies) filthy adult jokes, you must admit that you at least find them funny. Hey, your secret is safe with us.
If you ever find yourself in a gathering with no child nearby where you don’t need to come up with family-friendly jokes, cracking filthy jokes is one way to liven up the party. The Susan of the group might give you a disapproving face, but heck, you better believe that she'll surely go see a priest after because she totally got the joke. It doesn't necessarily mean that all adult jokes are of a sexual nature. Okay, most of them are, but hey, that's why we love them.
Below, we gathered some of the filthiest, dirtiest, or simply funniest jokes of the day that the little ones would be better off not hearing. Do you know any more dirty jokes? Have a personal favorite go-to joke? Share it with others!
#21
"My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals."
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#22
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one.”
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#23
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
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#24
Man: “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?”
Doctor: “To the morgue.”
Man: “What? But I’m not dead yet!”
Doctor: “And we’re not there yet.”
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#25
What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters?
They just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out."
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#26
"The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family."
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#27
"My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her."
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#28
"Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera."
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#29
Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.
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#30
"I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy."
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#31
"My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow."
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#32
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
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#33
"My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?"
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#34
"I'll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?""
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#35
Option 1: Let’s eat grandma.
Option 2: Let’s eat, grandma.
There you have it. Proof that punctuation saves lives.
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#36
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
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#37
Priest: “Do you have any last requests?”
Murderer sitting in the electric chair: “Yes. Can you please hold my hand?”
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#38
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
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#39
"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read."
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#40
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one. She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
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