Good communication is the foundation of healthy and happy relationships. You can avoid quite a few headaches if you set your ego aside and actually talk with your partner about your issues. You’re meant to be equals, after all. That’s common sense, right? Well, common sense seems to be in very short supply. And this can lead to funny moments of payback.
A woman asked the internet to weigh in on the family drama happening in her home. She revealed that her gamer husband allowed his mom to stay in her craft room for a month and a half. So, she decided to get sweet revenge against his hobby, too. Scroll down to read how she gave her husband a taste of his own medicine.
It stings when your spouse ignores your autonomy and opinion
This woman got sweet revenge against her husband after he sidelined her crafting
Setting better boundaries is good not just for you, but for your partner as well
If you refuse to communicate with your significant other, you end up ignoring their opinion, wants, and needs. And you can accidentally trample over their boundaries. You need to respect their property, privacy, autonomy, and space. If you don’t, it can lead to frustration, resentment, and feeling sidelined. And those feelings aren’t the hallmarks of a healthy relationship.
Boundaries are great for your relationship’s overall health and your and your partner’s happiness. And there are many reasons why. However, setting and protecting boundaries is easier said than done.
According to New York-based licensed clinical psychologist Yesel Yoon, PhD, setting boundaries creates greater clarity about what is and isn't okay.
“There’s a misconception that boundary setting is only a series of no statements and rejections. It’s not! You can share with others what it is you need in a positive sense. In other words, you can tell people what things they can do that will be helpful. This gives others a clearer direction for how they can support you.”
Meanwhile, boundaries allow you to say “no” to favors and requests, leaving more energy to say “yes” to more important things. In other words, boundaries protect you from burnout by giving you space to prioritize your wants and needs, not just other people's.
Furthermore, when you set and protect your boundaries, you are communicating that it is entirely possible to say “no” while still maintaining a good connection.
“There is often a negative value judgment associated with stating needs and asserting boundaries. People fear they’ll lose connections or respect from others if they assert boundaries. Instead, practicing boundary setting is a way to clarify the terms of what it means to have a respectful dynamic between individuals,” Yoon explains in a post on Psychology Today.
You are not responsible for how someone feels about your boundaries
“It’s not an act of taking away or being aggressive towards another. The more we can model boundary setting as a mutually beneficial act, the more likely others will understand and honor these actions.”
If you happen to be a people pleaser, you might find it difficult to refuse someone’s requests. In this case, you may need to change how you communicate and engage with others. “It can feel challenging to try new ways of engaging with others, but with practice, these behaviors can lead closer to connections based on mutual understanding and respect, and further away from burnout and resentment.”
Yoon emphasizes that “you can only give from what you have.” This means that you have to hold yourself accountable to take care of yourself first and foremost. When you manage to get this right, you can then contribute more to your relationships.
As HelpGuide stresses, it is important that you let other people take responsibility for their emotions. “We often feel naturally inclined to care about how other people feel and react to our words and actions. However, you shouldn’t feel responsible for how the other person reacts to the boundary.”
You should not have to feel like you must ignore your own needs just to keep the peace. Feelings of guilt or selfishness are natural, but they aren’t always objective. Setting boundaries and feeling confident about them takes practice, that’s all.
We want to hear your thoughts, Pandas. Feel free to join the conversation in the comments. Do you think the woman did the right thing by getting back at her husband, or would you have personally tried a different approach? How do you maintain healthy boundaries, respect, and good communication with your partner at home? Share your perspectives.
The internet weighed in on the woman's plan to get back at her gamer husband. Many readers were on her side
Meanwhile, here's how some other internet users reacted to the sewing machine drama
