Living with roommates can be the most fun experience when you’re young because it feels like a long sleepover with friends. The problem is that over time, it can become tiresome, especially if the other people are disrespectful or very entitled.
This is what one 19-year-old faced while living with her friends, as they kept expecting her to do the chores, cover the groceries, cook all meals, and put up with their partners coming over whenever. This entitlement finally reached peak levels, and the woman was forced to make an extreme choice.
Figuring out how to set boundaries with roommates you care about can be the toughest thing to do
The poster mentioned that her flatmates expected her to do all the chores, pay for groceries, cook the meals, and put up with one of their boyfriends being over
After the woman realized that her roommates had been listening in on her therapy sessions, she finally decided to move out and cancel her housing contract without telling them
In an edit, the woman mentioned that later on, all of her roommates got to know why she had moved out, and two of them began giving her the silent treatment
Most netizens asked questions about the poster's secret move out and how it would impact her friends
People mostly sided with the woman and felt she was justified in her actions
Some shared similar experiences they had faced with toxic roommates
Despite the woman trying to make things right with her friends after they were rude to her, she secretly took all the nice furniture and appliances that she left behind
The poster also mentioned that her ex-roommates wouldn’t be responsible for her share of rent since someone else would be assigned to their apartment by the college
Living with friends or people your age is mostly fun, but research from Georgetown University also found that one-third of college students report having issues with their roommates. For 17% of them, these problems also affect their academics, as they can add a lot of stress, and nearly 35% of folks with roommates have relationship difficulties within a year of moving in together.
Overall, 45% of folks living with a stranger, friend, or family member report being satisfied with the arrangement. Even with occasional conflicts or problems, it seems to be a pleasant experience overall. This may be because 71.5% of folks discuss any issues directly with their flatmate, which can help mend things between them.
There are so many possible reasons why folks might get annoyed with the person they’re rooming with
According to Elle India, some of the most common reasons people get annoyed with their flatmates are leaving the bathroom messy, leaving clothes lying around, or not cleaning up after cooking. This can be inconvenient and make folks feel like they’re constantly picking up after their roomie.
The problem with moving in with a stranger, or even a friend, is that their quirks often don’t become apparent until you’re living together. After that, they might play music very loud, invite people over at odd hours, not pay bills on time, or even use your stuff without permission. If you care about the person, it becomes much tougher to set boundaries with them.
One way to build a better, more thoughtful relationship with your roommate is to discuss important issues beforehand. Mental Health America mentions that folks should talk about the cleaning schedule and which chores each person can take on, since this can become a source of conflict over time.
For rent, guests, cleaning, cooking, and groceries, it might help to write it all down in a roommate agreement. Although that may seem formal, it can reduce uncertainty and serve as evidence if someone isn’t holding up their end of the bargain.
If a disagreement ever crops up between flatmates, both folks should know how to handle it smoothly
The best way to manage a conflict or argument with someone you’re living with is to take time to calm down, rather than blowing up right away. Instead of blaming them, acknowledge your faults and use ‘I’ statements to share how you're feeling. Also, giving them space to vent and feel fully heard can make all the difference.
In this story, the poster tried her best to make things right with her friends, but she eventually couldn’t handle their toxic behavior and decided moving out was easier. This definitely made them all mad, and they cut contact with her after that.
Do you think she did the right thing by secretly leaving their shared apartment? Do share your honest opinion in the comments below.
People were glad that the woman finally stood up for herself and set boundaries with her toxic roommates
Some folks also shared similar experiences that they had with roommates, and also expressed shock that the poster had been called a jerk for her actions by certain netizens
