It's true that parents raise us, feed us, and help us achieve our dreams, but that doesn’t mean we are indebted to them forever. After all, they are the ones who decided to have kids, so raising their children properly is the bare minimum they can do.
These parents, on the other hand, have been living with their daughter for the past 5 years, and they keep draining her emotionally and financially. She’s sick of them controlling her whole life, and all she wants is freedom from their clutches. Read on to find out what happened!
More info: Reddit
Just because parents raise us doesn't mean we are indebted to them, even when they turn toxic
Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The 30-year-old poster has been looking after her parents for the last 5 years, but her brother has never chipped in to help
Image credits: dtdr
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her father is a manipulative man who keeps expecting her to cover all their finances, despite her parents having enough savings
Image credits: dtdr
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When she asks him to pay, her father taunts and guilt-trips her, and she's done being manipulated by him constantly
Image credits: dtdr
She's also sick of her parents controlling her daily life, too, and just wants freedom from their emotional and financial demands
In today’s story, the 30-year-old original poster (OP) laments about how trapped she feels because of her parents. The thing is, they have been living with her for the past 5 years, and she has been paying for almost everything, like rent, utilities, and other things. Meanwhile, her brother also earns as much as her, and her sister-in-law earns too, but they haven’t chipped in at all.
In fact, her brother avoids the topic if she even brings it up. Moreover, the real problem is her parents’ behavior, especially her father's. Not only does he try to control her life, but he also treats her finances as if they belong to him. Data shows that the average household in the United States spends $61,334 a year on expenses, so we can understand why OP is so concerned.
What’s worse is if she asks her dad to cover a bill or something, he tries to manipulate and even guilt-trips her. It’s not like he can’t afford it because the couple has enough savings, but they just don’t want to part with it. In fact, he purposely refuses to get a credit/debit card and won’t use any apps for digital transfer, so they are forced to be dependent on her.
While OP’s parents are draining her financially, they are also trying to control her life and micromanage everything she does. The poster has also been obligated to make a lot of changes for them, and she can’t take it anymore. All she wants is freedom from their financial and emotional demands, but then she’s afraid of being the bad guy, so she vented online.
Image credits: standret / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Research suggests that financial cruelty is a form of familial mistreatment when “One person uses power and control over another. It is a repeated pattern of behaviour and can occur between partners or other family members.” Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Well, it’s pretty obvious that the poster’s financially controlling parents are just taking advantage of her.
Experts also stress that guilt-tripping is often a type of familial manipulation, due to which the victim starts doubting themself. Besides, studies have shown that it can have long-term harmful effects on a person, like mental health issues, strained relationships, and even decision-making struggles. It’s really unfair that the poster is having such a hard time because of them.
Also, the fact that her brother keeps dodging the parents topic when she brings it up shows that he may never help her. Well, after five years of suffering, I think the poster deserves some space for herself. Even if her whole family finds it selfish, she should establish a healthy boundary with her parents. After all, her mental well-being is just as important.
Moreover, her parents should realize that they have enough money for themselves, and that OP needs to save up for her future. Netizens also pointed out that the couple sounds completely selfish for burdening their daughter in such a manner. Many suggested that it would be best if OP moved out and focused on herself, rather than spending all her money on them.
What would you do in her shoes? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Folks online instantly sided with the poster and told her that her parents are just exploiting her financially, while her brother barely cares
