It is natural for both the parents and grandparents to be overcome with emotions when a new child is born into the family. But it's important for everyone to find a healthy way to express their excitement, as the baby's well-being should be their utmost priority.
Unfortunately, one woman's mother-in-law has had a difficult time putting aside her own desires to keep her grandchild safe. The new mom reached out to Reddit seeking advice after her husband's mother refused to follow the guidelines set by their pediatrician. Below, you'll find the full story that was posted online, as well as some of the replies concerned readers shared.
A mother was advised by a pediatrician to only let the baby's parents kiss the newborn, but her MIL had a different take on it
Image credits: Public Domain Pictures (not the actual photo)
The mother told her extended family members that no one can kiss the baby yet
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Image credits: Randall Hammer (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ZealousidealTea5062
Seeing the mother kiss the baby before putting her to sleep, the baby's grandmother asked if the "no kissing" rule had been changed
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)
The baby's mother responded that "no kissing" was only meant for people other than the baby's parents and got called a hypocrite
A young mother brought it to the Reddit community online after her disagreement with her mother-in-law and her sister-in-law, who called the woman a hypocrite for not letting people other than the baby’s parents kiss her until she turns at least 8-12 weeks.
Despite the baby’s pediatrician recommending just that, the incident happened after the woman didn’t explicitly state that the baby’s parents are allowed to kiss their own baby and the baby’s grandmother acted surprised when she saw the baby's mother kiss the baby before setting her to nap on her chest.
In the beginning, the baby’s grandmother inquired if the pediatrician had updated the rules, and upon receiving a negative answer, she accused the baby’s mother of violating the rules, which culminated in the grandmother calling her daughter-in-law a hypocrite.
While the baby’s grandmother eventually did apologize, she requested that the baby’s mother refrain from kissing her baby in front of her. To that, the mother explained that while she sympathized with the urge to kiss the baby, she wasn't going to stop kissing the girl in front of her mother-in-law.
This led to the woman’s mother-in-law as well as her sister-in-law coming back to calling the baby’s mother a hypocrite and accusing her of being disrespectful.
The baby's grandmother eventually apologized but requested that the baby's mother not kiss her baby in front of her
Image credits: Exergen Corporation (not the actual photo)
The baby's mother refused to stop kissing her baby in front of her mother-in-law and was called disrespectful
The question of baby kissing might be briefly summed up as follows. On the one hand, touching and human contact are among crucial needs of a human baby in addition to newborns being very “kissable” indeed. Yet, based on recommendations of pediatricians, parents are strongly advised to ask the baby’s grandparents to wait until their little one is a little older.
This is due to the newborn’s immune system being very fragile and unlearned, making any virus potentially dangerous. For this reason, it is advised to keep the lip-restraining rules for people outside an infant’s household, which might include extended family and grandparents. According to pediatrician Camile Sabella, ideally grandparents should refrain from kissing the baby for the first two-three months of the baby's life.
Naturally, asking the grandparents to not kiss the baby might lead to parents second-guessing if they are not being overprotective or causing some tension among extended family members. For this reason, Joshua Bartlett for Natural Baby Life listed tips on how to discuss boundaries of this sort with the child’s grandparents.
They started by suggesting to assume the best - mostly, grandparents are coming from a place of excitement and love, rather than effort to control and undermine the baby’s parents.
They advised explaining to the baby’s grandparents that these restraints are temporary and necessary due to fragile immune system of a newborn, rather than personal preferences.
Natural Baby Life also advised pointing to an article on the topic and having the conversation in advance, possibly even before the baby is born, so that grandparents have time to process the request. Finally, Bartlett suggested to be clear about these boundaries, in addition to explaining that these are recommendations by the doctor.
Coming back to the Redditor's story, it gathered 10.7k upvotes on Reddit and people judged that the baby's mother was not a jerk in this situation, as she was following the medical advice in addition to giving the necessary skin contact to her baby.
Redditors shared their takes on the situation
