As Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist and researcher, shared on Luke Coutinho's podcast, she sees the mother-in-law syndrome in clients not just from the United States, but also from Latin America, the Middle East, Europe, and Africa. Across cultures, the root cause is often the same—blurred boundaries, generational trauma, and unspoken expectations around control, respect, and hierarchy.
To get a better understanding of what this looks like in everyday life, Reddit user Magnoliabluebell_ asked everyone on the platform to share the most unhinged things their MILs have ever said. The replies they’ve received show that while the details may change from one family or culture to another, the emotional weather pattern is eerily familiar.
#1
My first baby was a super preemie, 26 weeks. NICU for 116 days. Murphy’s law baby the entire stay. MIL called me one morning and said “stop going to the hospital! If you stop going, my son will stop going because he shouldn’t have to go through this with THAT baby!”
I cussed her so bad she showed up at NICU waiting area with food for us. I dumped it in the trash in front of her and walked away. DH told her to go home. Thirty two years later we are still VLC.
I cussed her so bad she showed up at NICU waiting area with food for us. I dumped it in the trash in front of her and walked away. DH told her to go home. Thirty two years later we are still VLC.
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98points
#2
It has to be the time when she told us that she *will* be raising our baby and if I'm a good little girl, she may see her way into letting us visit
We were firmly in our 40s, this was going to be our one and only after 20 years and the baby was so very much wanted by my husband and I. There was no way on this green earth I was just going to blindly pass off my baby for someone else to raise.
We were firmly in our 40s, this was going to be our one and only after 20 years and the baby was so very much wanted by my husband and I. There was no way on this green earth I was just going to blindly pass off my baby for someone else to raise.
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94points
#3
Me in my early 40’s trying for a second child In the midst of my 8th failed IVF egg collection & two failed pregnancies, she tells me “having an only child is the cruelest thing a mother could do”. Then, when finally and amazingly pregnant, she tells me “most IVF children have neurological problems”.
Vile shrew.
Vile shrew.
91points
#4
My MIL was massively Bipolar and had separation anxiety. I acted as her caretaker off and on for over 8yrs. When my ex left me for another woman I began making arrangements to move back to my home state as the only people I knew in that state were my ex's family and his then best friend. I warned my FIL ahead of time so we could deal with her issues beforehand.
My MIL ended up finding out that I was leaving and broke my arm by throwing a chair at me. My ex's now former best friend helped me move out that same day. As we were taking out the last of my belongings she threatened to hurt herself with a pair of scissors. My FIL encouraged me to leave and told me that he'd take care of things. Both my MIL and FIL ended up having to go to the E.R. after she hurt herself and my FIL. Despite being blocked on everything and living over 3000 miles away she kept attempting to contact me for the next 2yrs. I still have nightmares about that woman.
My MIL ended up finding out that I was leaving and broke my arm by throwing a chair at me. My ex's now former best friend helped me move out that same day. As we were taking out the last of my belongings she threatened to hurt herself with a pair of scissors. My FIL encouraged me to leave and told me that he'd take care of things. Both my MIL and FIL ended up having to go to the E.R. after she hurt herself and my FIL. Despite being blocked on everything and living over 3000 miles away she kept attempting to contact me for the next 2yrs. I still have nightmares about that woman.
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76points
#5
She told me I was a terrible hostess when they visited and we didn’t take them out to make the most of their time. For context, we were stationed in Germany at the time, and her and my FIL bought tickets against our request to meet our newborn. They landed in country the day we were discharged from the hospital so my husband had to drop us off at home to drive 2 hours to pick them up from the airport.
I’m sorry my unplanned C-section was inconvenient for her plans to be a tourist /s
And no, they didn’t come to be helpful or all the nice things I hear family members doing for a post partum mom. lol.
I’m sorry my unplanned C-section was inconvenient for her plans to be a tourist /s
And no, they didn’t come to be helpful or all the nice things I hear family members doing for a post partum mom. lol.
75points
#6
" my husband and I have been speaking about it the last few months, and I just wanted you to know that we have accepted it the best we can, and feel it's OK for you to have this baby "
Thank God i had her majesty's permission, holding her in with keegal exercises until she could walk out wanted by these people was presenting a challenge for me.
Thank God i had her majesty's permission, holding her in with keegal exercises until she could walk out wanted by these people was presenting a challenge for me.
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72points
#7
3 months after I had a stroke. I’m still using a walker to help me get around.
She told me to just get over it already.
She told me to just get over it already.
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67points
#8
I terminated a pregnancy after tests showed a fatal chromosome disorder. "Oh, that's too bad, I was looking forward to being a grandmother!"
(I have had a much easier time dealing with my MIL since a therapist friend told me that her emotional development probably stalled out when she got pregnant with my husband as a teenager. Now I only expect the level of emotional maturity you'd get from a 17yo and our relationship has been much improved.).
(I have had a much easier time dealing with my MIL since a therapist friend told me that her emotional development probably stalled out when she got pregnant with my husband as a teenager. Now I only expect the level of emotional maturity you'd get from a 17yo and our relationship has been much improved.).
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66points
#9
Similar situation - I had made mention to my wife about having a second child and my MIL chimes in from across the room with “oh no. Y’all are not having a second one.” I was absolutely speechless that someone else thought they could tell me how many children I can have.
63points
#10
This was said by fil, but mil said absolutely nothing!
My hubby is an only child. We went over to their house to tell them that he had cancer. His Dad said "well, you won't get any sympathy from me!".
My hubby is an only child. We went over to their house to tell them that he had cancer. His Dad said "well, you won't get any sympathy from me!".
62points
#11
That would be when MIL started hinting about grandchildren about a week after the wedding. (We are both 47, and I got my tubes tied at age 35.) I just laughed.
56points
#12
My husband (31M) and I (31F) eloped in October. We showed MIL photos from elopement on Christmas. Her only comment to us directed toward me : "You look like a witch." I'm done with her.
56points
#13
My favorite was when MIL told me she won't be babysitting my child. I was pregnant at the time. She stated she was working full time and enjoyed her time off. This was while she was watching SIL's daughter, which she did for 5 hours every week while SIL & hubby went to dinner and bowling.
We made sure we never needed her to babysit, and she begged a few years later to take our kids overnight. The kids were old enough to say it wasn't fun spending the night there, so they never did again.
When our kids were teens, I was going with hubby on a work trip, so she did stay at our home to make sure the kids were fine. She was pissed I had the meals all planned out and they just needed to pull something out of the freezer and pop in the micro. She went ahead, bought and made the kids dinner one night and the kids suffered through her cooking.
She is probably turning in her grave that hubby and I have been married for 41 years now and still haven't had our marriage blessed by a Priest.
We made sure we never needed her to babysit, and she begged a few years later to take our kids overnight. The kids were old enough to say it wasn't fun spending the night there, so they never did again.
When our kids were teens, I was going with hubby on a work trip, so she did stay at our home to make sure the kids were fine. She was pissed I had the meals all planned out and they just needed to pull something out of the freezer and pop in the micro. She went ahead, bought and made the kids dinner one night and the kids suffered through her cooking.
She is probably turning in her grave that hubby and I have been married for 41 years now and still haven't had our marriage blessed by a Priest.
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56points
#14
While I was nursing my 4-month old daughter:
“I hope she doesn’t turn out gay because she’ll go straight to hell. But she is beautiful.”
“I know she won’t take a bottle, but I go home and cry because I can’t bottle-feed her.”
I have soooo many of these.
“I hope she doesn’t turn out gay because she’ll go straight to hell. But she is beautiful.”
“I know she won’t take a bottle, but I go home and cry because I can’t bottle-feed her.”
I have soooo many of these.
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55points
#15
“Why do you need her when you have me?” — said to my husband while gesturing to me and crying hysterically.
54points
#16
When I had my 2nd baby, she told me that PPD was not a real thing. She was actually mad at me for being so emotional
It took her oldest son (my husband's brother) to have a long talk with her for her to be civil with me. She still doesn't believe it to this day... Even though I'm taking medication right now for severe PPD after having my 4th baby.
It took her oldest son (my husband's brother) to have a long talk with her for her to be civil with me. She still doesn't believe it to this day... Even though I'm taking medication right now for severe PPD after having my 4th baby.
53points
#17
Me 38 weeks pregnant.
SMIL “I’m going to have to get a car seat base for my car. We’ll call you guys up and let you know which WEEKS we are going to take the baby”
Me; sputtering, dumbfounded, caught off guard: “umm I’ll be breast feeding. You can’t just take my baby”.
SMIL; continuing to be a dumb witch: “oh you can just pump!!”.
SMIL “I’m going to have to get a car seat base for my car. We’ll call you guys up and let you know which WEEKS we are going to take the baby”
Me; sputtering, dumbfounded, caught off guard: “umm I’ll be breast feeding. You can’t just take my baby”.
SMIL; continuing to be a dumb witch: “oh you can just pump!!”.
52points
#18
"I just don't understand how she's getting any nutrients with that breast milk, you're so skinny."
About my 17-pound 4-month-old daughter.
About my 17-pound 4-month-old daughter.
52points
#19
Probably when she texted my husband at 3am threatening to call CPS on us because she felt like our twins had speech issues that needed to be tested. They were just barely 2.
48points
#20
Whenever our families would meet and I wore makeup she’d say “oh you did your makeup? I’m barefaced today (slaps her own face) I’m too busy I don’t have time to wear makeup…you look nice though…” she’d repeat this until I or DH will acknowledge the comment.
I’ve always had my nails done with my natural nail length and just gel on top or dip powder and MIL went once to an apprentice to get hers done because it was cheaper. She went for acrylic to make them longer too. They didn’t last long on her and she commented “your nails always look lovely, mine didn’t last very long…I guess I work too hard and they just fell off”
When DH and I got engaged she’d repeatedly say how he wanted to marry her when he was a child and how his sister wants a man just like him and won’t settle for less.
During my maternity leave with my second child she’d have the habit of showing up unannounced and have coffee to “catch up”. Bare in mind I was recovering from a c section that had ripped open and infected because I pushed myself too hard and didn’t let my body heal properly. Well one of those times she came in with an Apple Watch and I was complementing her on it. She then said “oh I’ve taken 17000 steps today, I work so hard. I wonder how many steps you’re taking lately…”
Like that I have plenty of other examples. We are NC going on 2 years now.
I’ve always had my nails done with my natural nail length and just gel on top or dip powder and MIL went once to an apprentice to get hers done because it was cheaper. She went for acrylic to make them longer too. They didn’t last long on her and she commented “your nails always look lovely, mine didn’t last very long…I guess I work too hard and they just fell off”
When DH and I got engaged she’d repeatedly say how he wanted to marry her when he was a child and how his sister wants a man just like him and won’t settle for less.
During my maternity leave with my second child she’d have the habit of showing up unannounced and have coffee to “catch up”. Bare in mind I was recovering from a c section that had ripped open and infected because I pushed myself too hard and didn’t let my body heal properly. Well one of those times she came in with an Apple Watch and I was complementing her on it. She then said “oh I’ve taken 17000 steps today, I work so hard. I wonder how many steps you’re taking lately…”
Like that I have plenty of other examples. We are NC going on 2 years now.
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48points