Whenever someone wrongs us, we’re told the admirable thing to do is be the bigger person. Turn the other cheek. Forgive, forget, and let the universe restore balance on its own. But while that may be the morally righteous path, let’s be honest—it doesn’t feel nearly as good as serving up a perfectly crafted dose of payback.
One Redditor asked users to share the most satisfying acts of revenge they’d ever experienced, and they had no shortage of stories to tell. From brilliantly petty to deliciously sweet, scroll down to read the best ones and upvote your favorites.
#1
It was actually against me... If that gives you any clue as to how justified and perfect it was.
When I was 4 and my brother was 6 we were on our way to my great-grandfather's funeral. My parents stop at McDonalds and out of my brother's small fry bag (the 4.5" tall white bag of fries) he pulls an 11" fry. Impossible right? We're in the back seat. I see it. He yells to my parents to witness this awesome fry but before they can turn around I snatch it and eat it. He is upset. Whatever.
Cut to 12 years later.
Home after school. No parents. Friends hanging out in the kitchen. Everyone is scurrying around for an afterschool snack. My brother and I are at the table and our friends are in the other part of the kitchen. Out of this bag of Wavy Lays I pull a potato chip that is literally the size of my skull. No idea how this thing didn't break in transit. I'm like, Oh my God! Guys, look at this chip! Before anyone can even turn their heads, my brother reaches across with his right hand and crushes the chip to crumbs. I have WTH eyes baring down on him and he simply says, "That's for the fry." 12 years had passed and we had never spoken about it but it took less than a second to remember everything and just nod in agreement that the score was settled. One enormous potato product for another.
True story.
When I was 4 and my brother was 6 we were on our way to my great-grandfather's funeral. My parents stop at McDonalds and out of my brother's small fry bag (the 4.5" tall white bag of fries) he pulls an 11" fry. Impossible right? We're in the back seat. I see it. He yells to my parents to witness this awesome fry but before they can turn around I snatch it and eat it. He is upset. Whatever.
Cut to 12 years later.
Home after school. No parents. Friends hanging out in the kitchen. Everyone is scurrying around for an afterschool snack. My brother and I are at the table and our friends are in the other part of the kitchen. Out of this bag of Wavy Lays I pull a potato chip that is literally the size of my skull. No idea how this thing didn't break in transit. I'm like, Oh my God! Guys, look at this chip! Before anyone can even turn their heads, my brother reaches across with his right hand and crushes the chip to crumbs. I have WTH eyes baring down on him and he simply says, "That's for the fry." 12 years had passed and we had never spoken about it but it took less than a second to remember everything and just nod in agreement that the score was settled. One enormous potato product for another.
True story.
44points
#2
I was married to an aggressive bully for 15 years, i put up with the frequent hits and put me downs for the sake of the 2 children, his favourite thing to do was to leave me short of money so i had to clean peoples houses just to get by so when [he] left me for another woman i was of course over the moon, i kept in contact with his mother and on a Friday went round to see her, did a bit of shopping and cleaning just to help out, 7 years later she left me £65,000 in her will and her son got £5,000, money does bring happiness :).
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36points
#3
For years and years in late elementary school and most of middle school, this one kid would just bully me constantly. Towards the end of 8th grade it had gotten pretty bad, and I really just wanted it to end. Let's call him Chris.
When looking for a lost parrot on my property, I found the bottom half of some animal (may have been a muskrat, groundhog, or something similar, but I couldn't be sure exactly what) under a tree and brought it back to the house. I then called my mom, who was out of town travelling at the time, how I'd go about making it stop stinking (this was before I could really just google it). She wouldn't really help me because I wouldn't tell her why I wanted to disinfect a deceased rodent, but I let it sit out in the sun (this was late May) for a few days, and that ended most of the bugs and whatnot.
I then wrapped it up in butcher paper, and put it in a paper bag. I then wrote "Dear Chris, you forgot your lunch this morning. Love, Mom" on it. Chris always brought a bagged lunch in to school every single day. In the morning after the first class period started, I went to his locker (no one locked theirs) and put it in his locker. After first period you could hear the screech from the floor below. Along with everyone else, I ran towards the sound and saw Chris walking down the hallway sobbing.
I didn't do much to hide the fact that I did it, and was given a day of in-school suspension. The principal didn't find the humor in negotiating for a half-day since it was only half a rodent.
Chris never really messed with me after that.
When looking for a lost parrot on my property, I found the bottom half of some animal (may have been a muskrat, groundhog, or something similar, but I couldn't be sure exactly what) under a tree and brought it back to the house. I then called my mom, who was out of town travelling at the time, how I'd go about making it stop stinking (this was before I could really just google it). She wouldn't really help me because I wouldn't tell her why I wanted to disinfect a deceased rodent, but I let it sit out in the sun (this was late May) for a few days, and that ended most of the bugs and whatnot.
I then wrapped it up in butcher paper, and put it in a paper bag. I then wrote "Dear Chris, you forgot your lunch this morning. Love, Mom" on it. Chris always brought a bagged lunch in to school every single day. In the morning after the first class period started, I went to his locker (no one locked theirs) and put it in his locker. After first period you could hear the screech from the floor below. Along with everyone else, I ran towards the sound and saw Chris walking down the hallway sobbing.
I didn't do much to hide the fact that I did it, and was given a day of in-school suspension. The principal didn't find the humor in negotiating for a half-day since it was only half a rodent.
Chris never really messed with me after that.
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30points
#4
I was the "victim" and I deserved it.
In high school, I learned that putting small amounts of phenolthalein into an acidic beverage, such as cola is undetectable, and will make the recipient's urine bright red. I pulled this prank many times. It got to the point that my friends would shout "God dang it, Midzokacuda!" From the toilet.
I pulled the prank on my neighbor, a chemistry major at the University. He never said a word, but a week later, I urinated blue.
Good one.
In high school, I learned that putting small amounts of phenolthalein into an acidic beverage, such as cola is undetectable, and will make the recipient's urine bright red. I pulled this prank many times. It got to the point that my friends would shout "God dang it, Midzokacuda!" From the toilet.
I pulled the prank on my neighbor, a chemistry major at the University. He never said a word, but a week later, I urinated blue.
Good one.
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27points
#5
My mother told me not to bother going back to college after dropping out at 20yo. I'm now a PhD and a tenure-track assistant professor at a major U.S. research university. Dunno if that's exactly revenge, but it feels like it, and it feels great.
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25points
#6
I clearly remember when I was 5 and in kindergarten (and that's a long time ago), I loved building towers with blocks. One day, a boy comes over and kicks down my tower.
The next day, I build it with little blocks inside the base, so it's not hollow. He comes back and kicks it down. It took him two kicks.
The next day, I took one of those big blocks, like 12" by 12", and hide it in the base by surrounding it with little blocks. Looks just like before. He comes back and kicks it...and nearly breaks his stupid toe. Yeah, he was crying, then had to tell the teacher how he hurt his toe.
He never bothered me again.
The next day, I build it with little blocks inside the base, so it's not hollow. He comes back and kicks it down. It took him two kicks.
The next day, I took one of those big blocks, like 12" by 12", and hide it in the base by surrounding it with little blocks. Looks just like before. He comes back and kicks it...and nearly breaks his stupid toe. Yeah, he was crying, then had to tell the teacher how he hurt his toe.
He never bothered me again.
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24points
#7
I couldn't stand this one kid who I went to high-school with, who lived a few blocks away in the neighbourhood. One night, he sent cops to my parents house where I was still living, telling them I had done something I didn't do. Luckily I had a receipt in my pocket from the restaurant I was at, in suburb 10 miles away that was time stamped half an hour later than when he said the incident occurred.
Regardless, my parents were woken up, etc etc. I was pissed.
Well, a few days later, my mom bought some plants that she left in the kitchen window. Our family cat was a nutball to begin with, but all of a sudden he was constantly jumping on the counters, eating these plants. When I'd try and shoo him down, he would actually take a defensive stance and hiss and scratch. 10 minutes later, he would be back, chewing on the leaves.
I asked my mom what the plants were, and she said, "Oh, they are catnip. They have a really pretty flower. I'm going to plant them in the backyard when the weather warms up."
I was like, "Not a chance you're planting these in our backyard. Look what you're doing to the cat! He's aggressive! You'll bring every cat in the neighbourhood, and they will all fight, all night long!!!"
Suddenly, at that exact moment, a revenge plot was born. The following night, I snuck into his backyard and planted the catnip everywhere. My friend who lived across the street from him told me it worked perfectly, and that he was always complaining about cats fighting in his backyard after that.
Revenge. No physical confrontation, no property damage, just cats.
Felt a little like some sort of super villain, sending out my cat minions to do my dirty work.
Regardless, my parents were woken up, etc etc. I was pissed.
Well, a few days later, my mom bought some plants that she left in the kitchen window. Our family cat was a nutball to begin with, but all of a sudden he was constantly jumping on the counters, eating these plants. When I'd try and shoo him down, he would actually take a defensive stance and hiss and scratch. 10 minutes later, he would be back, chewing on the leaves.
I asked my mom what the plants were, and she said, "Oh, they are catnip. They have a really pretty flower. I'm going to plant them in the backyard when the weather warms up."
I was like, "Not a chance you're planting these in our backyard. Look what you're doing to the cat! He's aggressive! You'll bring every cat in the neighbourhood, and they will all fight, all night long!!!"
Suddenly, at that exact moment, a revenge plot was born. The following night, I snuck into his backyard and planted the catnip everywhere. My friend who lived across the street from him told me it worked perfectly, and that he was always complaining about cats fighting in his backyard after that.
Revenge. No physical confrontation, no property damage, just cats.
Felt a little like some sort of super villain, sending out my cat minions to do my dirty work.
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18points
#8
Got my degree and wasn't able to get a promotion at my current company. Let my boss know I was looking for a new job and handled the move professionally. Left on good terms.
Started my new job, at a significant bump in pay, and quickly discovered it was nothing like the DBA job I had interviewed for. Instead of managing databases I was expected to learn a proprietary coding language created by my new boss. There was no documentation and he treated everyone like an idiot if they asked questions while trying to learn. After 3 months I had a review. I was told I was doing great and given a raise.
I continued learning and persevering through my bosses mistreatment. 3 months later I was pulled into another meeting with my boss and his boss. I was told I wasn't meeting expectations, although they wouldn't explain how, and told to sign a document putting me into a lesser position at a significant cut in pay. If I didn't sign I was told I would be fired. I signed and immediately started looking for another job.
I called up my old boss and asked for a reference. She told me she would do so happily, but I should know she had just submitted a job requisition for a new position that I would be perfect for. We discussed it and I agreed it would be a fit.
I went through the interview process and got the job at a higher salary than my new company had started me at. The only problem was that they couldn't bring me on until January 1st (it was Oct). I said that was fine.
For the next three months I made sure to use all my vacation and did next to nothing while at work.
I scheduled vacation for the last week of the year. On the last business day of the year I came into the office handed in my laptop and a letter of resignation that was effective immediately. They were actually surprised that I was quitting.
Started my new job, at a significant bump in pay, and quickly discovered it was nothing like the DBA job I had interviewed for. Instead of managing databases I was expected to learn a proprietary coding language created by my new boss. There was no documentation and he treated everyone like an idiot if they asked questions while trying to learn. After 3 months I had a review. I was told I was doing great and given a raise.
I continued learning and persevering through my bosses mistreatment. 3 months later I was pulled into another meeting with my boss and his boss. I was told I wasn't meeting expectations, although they wouldn't explain how, and told to sign a document putting me into a lesser position at a significant cut in pay. If I didn't sign I was told I would be fired. I signed and immediately started looking for another job.
I called up my old boss and asked for a reference. She told me she would do so happily, but I should know she had just submitted a job requisition for a new position that I would be perfect for. We discussed it and I agreed it would be a fit.
I went through the interview process and got the job at a higher salary than my new company had started me at. The only problem was that they couldn't bring me on until January 1st (it was Oct). I said that was fine.
For the next three months I made sure to use all my vacation and did next to nothing while at work.
I scheduled vacation for the last week of the year. On the last business day of the year I came into the office handed in my laptop and a letter of resignation that was effective immediately. They were actually surprised that I was quitting.
16points
#9
On a plane, guy in the seat in front of me--who I'd never met before--starts up a conversation that goes on for too long: at a certain point, he is standing up in the aisle to get closer, continuing to jabber on, while I am trying to be polite and listen. He continues for so long, that the flight attendant asks him to sit down, since he is blocking her cart and drinks service. He refuses--saying he is talking to his "friend" (i.e., me). At the end of the flight, he asks the flight attendant for her name, which she provides; he then says he's going to report her to airline management, and file a complaint about her being "rude" to customers (i.e., him).
Shocked flight attendant asks him if she can get his name, saying it's only fair, because he has hers. She asks him one or two times, then drops it, when the jerk refuses to identify himself. At the end of the flight, as passengers get off the plane, I fumble with my luggage, so as not to have to follow the jerk immediately off the plane. I find the aggrieved flight attendant--and hand her the jerk's business card, which he had tried to give me earlier. She seemed relieved; I felt profound satisfaction.
Shocked flight attendant asks him if she can get his name, saying it's only fair, because he has hers. She asks him one or two times, then drops it, when the jerk refuses to identify himself. At the end of the flight, as passengers get off the plane, I fumble with my luggage, so as not to have to follow the jerk immediately off the plane. I find the aggrieved flight attendant--and hand her the jerk's business card, which he had tried to give me earlier. She seemed relieved; I felt profound satisfaction.
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15points
#10
I guess it's not really revenge because I didn't inflict this fate on this person, but this ex-popular girl who bullied me in middle and high school for having a scoliosis brace/being a fugly lesbian came into the credit union I work for to get help for her debts that she couldn't afford to pay back. She was overweight, dressed [trashy], and financially [messed up].
I straightened my suit, took her into my office, and helped her with consolidation loans. I could tell she wanted me to say something about our past but I didn't. Sometimes the best vengeance really is living better, and showing those people who hurt you that they are just a passing blow.
I straightened my suit, took her into my office, and helped her with consolidation loans. I could tell she wanted me to say something about our past but I didn't. Sometimes the best vengeance really is living better, and showing those people who hurt you that they are just a passing blow.
14points
#11
This kid picked on me since 1st grade. Then one day in 4th grade, the teacher had her back turned so he climbed under my table and started pulling faces at me (not sure why, he was kinda weird). It must have been a knee jerk reaction but his face was there and my foot was here so I kicked him. In the face.
Kid falls to ground shrieking while clutching his head. Teacher turns around and sees him out of his desk. Gives him detention.
Later that day, his face had swollen to the size of a volleyball and he had stopped crying long enough to tell the teacher what had happened. My teacher asked me if it was true and I said I felt something tugging on my shoe so I kicked, thinking it was caught on something. The teacher gave me a lollipop, saying be aware of my surroundings next time. The kid never bothered me again.
BEST DAY EVER.
Kid falls to ground shrieking while clutching his head. Teacher turns around and sees him out of his desk. Gives him detention.
Later that day, his face had swollen to the size of a volleyball and he had stopped crying long enough to tell the teacher what had happened. My teacher asked me if it was true and I said I felt something tugging on my shoe so I kicked, thinking it was caught on something. The teacher gave me a lollipop, saying be aware of my surroundings next time. The kid never bothered me again.
BEST DAY EVER.
14points
#12
At my school we had a jerk who liked to stand next to his locker talking to one of his friends, and when someone got to close to it he'd slam it open into their face. As there were no cameras near this hallway, it was always dismissed as an accident.
Anyways, one day he felt the need to open it into my best friend's face. Gave him a bloody nose and almost broke it. Now, as i'm sure you all would be, I was pissed off.
So the day my friend got back, the jerk felt the need to approach him to "apologize" about hitting my friend. Luckily, my locker was located between my friend and the other kid. When I saw I could do it, I casually unlocked my locker, waited for him to get close to it, and slammed it into him.
Broke his nose and dented the locker. Revenge is sweet.
Anyways, one day he felt the need to open it into my best friend's face. Gave him a bloody nose and almost broke it. Now, as i'm sure you all would be, I was pissed off.
So the day my friend got back, the jerk felt the need to approach him to "apologize" about hitting my friend. Luckily, my locker was located between my friend and the other kid. When I saw I could do it, I casually unlocked my locker, waited for him to get close to it, and slammed it into him.
Broke his nose and dented the locker. Revenge is sweet.
12points
#13
Company hired me as a contractor, then refused to pay. The next company I worked for, did some business with them, for quite a lot of money. A few weeks in, I went to have drinks with the COO and talked about how that company had stiffed me.
Turns out to be the last straw for the company to switch suppliers. The company that refused to pay me took a very big hit, got in trouble and had to sell itself to a competitor 2 years later.
All I did was tell the COO exactly what happened, so it wasn't actually revenge. But man it felt good!
Turns out to be the last straw for the company to switch suppliers. The company that refused to pay me took a very big hit, got in trouble and had to sell itself to a competitor 2 years later.
All I did was tell the COO exactly what happened, so it wasn't actually revenge. But man it felt good!
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12points
#14
I moved to a new town just in time to start 7th grade in a junior hi. This jerk behind me in one of my classes kept punching me really hard in the back of the shoulder from the desk behind me. One day I taped a bunch of tacks to my shoulder under my shirt. Should have been obvious, but the sucker walloped me anyway. We both got in trouble, but it was worth it.
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11points
#15
Jerk ex moved out of my house after not lifting a finger for months, never once trying to do anything to make me happy, AND owing me money. Kept promising to pay me but never did - that's what pissed me off most of all.
I thought, you want to be a slob, you got it. I knew from a friend who raised reptiles that you could order insects online, so I ordered a box of cockroaches (all age stages). I went to his house that night and put them all through a couple of windows that I knew would be partially open.
I never found out about the reaction, but I was only too happy to cause him at least a little of the trouble he'd caused me.
I thought, you want to be a slob, you got it. I knew from a friend who raised reptiles that you could order insects online, so I ordered a box of cockroaches (all age stages). I went to his house that night and put them all through a couple of windows that I knew would be partially open.
I never found out about the reaction, but I was only too happy to cause him at least a little of the trouble he'd caused me.
11points
#16
I don't know, I guess I was picked on a lot by older kids before high school and when I was in high school I started boxing and won a few fights, so these "tough guys" that picked on me when I was younger approached me trying to start a friendship and I turned them down. That felt pretty good.
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11points
#17
This one time, when I was about 15-16, I was about to walk inside my building, had just placed the keys in the lock, when, reflected in the door, I see two girls walking by behind me.
I can actually hear one of them say, as she points at me:
"Let's talk to this guy."
But then her friend goes:
"No, not him, he's ugly. Let's go."
The girl that actually wanted to talk to me was cute and everything, man. So, not only did her friend [ruined it for me], but she also called me ugly. And that hurt.
I walk upstairs, walk into my place and then walk over to the balcony to see if I can spot the girls. They're right across the street, talking to each other, and the [mean one] is being a bit loud and obnoxious. That did it for me.
I walk back into the kitchen, grab a slice of ham and *swoosh*, threw it at the girl. Direct hit. She had a total "WTH" look on her face which made me smile.
Of course, in retrospect, that was a stupid thing to do and I wouldn't do it again.
**TL;DR - Ham her time.**
I can actually hear one of them say, as she points at me:
"Let's talk to this guy."
But then her friend goes:
"No, not him, he's ugly. Let's go."
The girl that actually wanted to talk to me was cute and everything, man. So, not only did her friend [ruined it for me], but she also called me ugly. And that hurt.
I walk upstairs, walk into my place and then walk over to the balcony to see if I can spot the girls. They're right across the street, talking to each other, and the [mean one] is being a bit loud and obnoxious. That did it for me.
I walk back into the kitchen, grab a slice of ham and *swoosh*, threw it at the girl. Direct hit. She had a total "WTH" look on her face which made me smile.
Of course, in retrospect, that was a stupid thing to do and I wouldn't do it again.
**TL;DR - Ham her time.**
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10points
#18
In high school a friend of mine saws couple kids egg her car. One of them was the child of a school board member and one of the only doctors in town so he was a prominent person in town. We were trying to come up with some good revenge, slash his tires, key his car, but he was a spoiled so we knew his parents would pay for all of it. I came up with the idea to just straight up tattle on him to his mom. I went with her when she did, his mom called him out to the front door started screaming at him, he cried the mom gave her 100 dollars and made him wash her car while we watched.
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10points
#19
When I was about 13/14, there was this kid on the school bus who was about a year older than me and used to pick on me a lot. He was a total arrogant jerk. One time he came and sat next to me and tried to pull the old "Hey, did you know if your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer?" (basically the idea is you get the person to then hold their hand right against their face, and then you hit their hand causing them to hit themselves in the face)
I wasn't falling for it, so he puts his hand against his own face in order to try and show me what to do. What do I do? Turn his own prank against him and smack his hand into his face. His nose starts bleeding quite badly. God that felt good.
I wasn't falling for it, so he puts his hand against his own face in order to try and show me what to do. What do I do? Turn his own prank against him and smack his hand into his face. His nose starts bleeding quite badly. God that felt good.
9points
#20
Lived in a rented house for 7 years next to a psychotic lawn worshiping lady. Hated us for renting, hated us for not having as much money as her. Made our lives hell. The night before we moved, loaded uhaul waiting patiently at the curb... I emptied 100$ worth of round up in nice [manhood] shaped patterns on her perfectly groomed lawn. Haven't been back, never saw it, but I take comfort from her pain, as I perceive it.
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9points