83 Things Narcissistic Parents Said That Their Children Still Remember Years Later

My mom said she would buy me a pregnancy test 'cause there was no way I was that fat. I was 26 years old and a size medium.

Around a year after a spout of ED that ended with me hospitalized, we went out for AYCE sushi. Afterwards I said something like “I’m so full I could puke” (I was probably 15 at the time). She responded with “maybe you should you are getting fat again”.

My dad was kicked out of the family company because he was disabled and just had kids with a wife that lost custody. We were both disabled like dad, something doctors told him wouldn’t happen.

I didn’t get any help like other kids in the family or schooling and I wouldn’t be given a job.

To make them proud I worked hard wanting to escape poverty.

I couldn’t go to undergrad like my cousins if I didn’t have scholarships and money for housing. I had about 8 surgeries up till that point so walking was too painful to be commuter.

I got the full ride after taking the SAT twice.

My dad and I spent the summer looking for scholarships to help with housing and we found one for 50,000 over the span of 4 years… for living costs.

I won by default since I was the only disabled person that had applied.

I happily told my narc uncle and narc grandmother at our weekly meals.

Rich Narc uncle: I don’t understand, why would you be proud of that? They gave it to you because they felt bad for you.

Me: it was a merit based scholarship

RNU: yeah I’m sure.

I then went on to get straight As and the top 20 law school in the area must have “felt bad for me”, since I got a 3/4 scholarship , and being hired as a resident assistant meant I capped my debt at around 50.

My father died and they literally said they weren’t willing to watch me graduate online because “why does it matter you are not going to be using the degree, grandma needs you to take care of her “.

I now make more money than any other grandchild and live 10 Minutes from my work.

I’m only second to that uncle earnings wise.

He still makes excuses and never tells me he’s proud of me keep going when my dad needing help in my 2L as he was dying of cancer and I KEPT MOVING FORWARD.

I will keep moving forward because the one parent that really loved me fought like crazy getting me here.

And now it’s time to start a family that breaks the cycle and transforms our family line into a happy positive environment for future kids to grow up in!

We were at my paternal grandmother's funeral. Should note my mother HATED my dad's family...and the feeling was definitely mutual. Anyway, we're at a literal funeral. I was standing with my mother when she suddenly got that mean sneer that she got when she was about to say something horrible, and leaned over to tell me, 'You're just like a [father's last name]. Look at all of them. Ugly with flat a**es, just like you!'

Then she was laughing and gave me a look like she expected me to join in, while I just...stared at her in horror.

What the f**k was that? At a funeral? I don't even have a flat a**?????

I was in my late 20s when this happened, which somehow made it weirder.

My narc mother announced to my extended family that I got my period at age 12. Like, at Thanksgiving dinner.

My husband and daughter and I met my mom at the fair one year. We ran into this guy that I had briefly worked with before he left, fired or quit, anyone's guess. I didn't know, didn't really care honestly. I never even learned his name. He seemed to want to hang out with our group because his friends ditched him. I really didn't want to have him with us honestly but my mom felt bad for him supposedly being ditched and then learning he was now homeless. She spent the day trying to set him and I up in situations where it was like a date. I kept walking away and wanting to do something with my family and for whatever reason my mom kept trying to push this guy on me and was getting angry that I kept refusing. She started calling me rude and saying I was being a bad friend. I told her for one, he was not my friend, and two, going on a date with him while married would make me a bad wife, something she should know something about (seeing as she cheated on my dad). This all understandably upset my husband.

Anyway, after he finally got the hint and left, my mom stood there and said, "Just imagine what your life would be like if you had married him."

I jokingly said, "Well, for one, I'd be homeless, you could go ahead and date him if you're so curious."

She got mad and said, "Really, think. He's a great guy. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have someone like him?"

I got really mad, tore into her how that whole thing was super inappropriate and incredibly disrespectful to my husband and child. And how she might be okay with stepping out of marriages but to me nothing is more sacred.

My husband and I had a fight that night because at some point he thought I was willingly trying to wander off with this guy. I explained to him that I never wanted the guy there in the first place and my mom was oddly obsessed with this guy. We both decided we never want to go anywhere like that with my mom again. We also went really LC, too.

To this day it really bothers me that my mom basically tried to "pimp" me out to a homeless guy in front of my husband.

At age 12 or 13, frequently:

"You'll be pregnant by 16, and dead by 18"

I will never forget those words, they were the most evil things I've ever heard a person utter to me before or since.

Mother: I wish I never had kids because you and your brother are no good.

My response: well maybe we are how you raised us. Maybe you are a s**t mother?

"You're an extension of me". Made me absolutely furious at the time, he thought it was a complement lol. My mom gave a wtf as well.

Didn't realize how textbook this was til a year or two ago lol.

My parents told me I was going to raise my child to be a dr*g a***cted felon, he was going to beat me, and I was going to be afraid of him. Those words haunt me. On Christmas Day, my mom told me if I sent my son to a private school, he was going to grow up to go to jail. I said nope, not starting this again. She then called me a liar, saying they never said those words. That will be the last conversation we ever have.

So, this a bit of a curveball for this topic. I was told at 10, “Do you want to be a big brother?”(I, of course, had only the illusion of say in the matter) and when I decided that was okay I was told “Think long and hard about what being a brother means, and what kind of brother you want to be. A selfish one or one that’s strong enough to make sacrifices for family”. And I did. Maybe 1000s of hours of introspection on the matter.

So, it sounds like a positive healthy parenting tool to instill empathy. I thought so for a long time. As an adult I realize that the positive effect on me was a side effect of the true goal. My mom was setting me up to parent my younger siblings so that she wouldn’t have to.

Got a job at 12 at a donut shop so the baby could get diapers. A brothers responsibility. Stayed home every night throughout all my teen years, to watch the girls. Mom needed time to go out and unwind after all.

Adopted my sisters in my 20s, despite having mom chained to the deal. Raised them until their 20s, and kicked her out when the kids left on their own. (She was using and also hiding my wife’s mail to force her out).

Got hit with that “You’re disgusting, you’re a terrible brother and son”. But the upside to a lifetime of discipline and duty to anything is it builds resilience and hard-earned self-esteem. Her words lost all power, and it’s only because of everything she asked me to do… so that she didn’t have to.

The greatest thing about narcissism is it always ends up sabotaging, long-term, the person wielding it for short term gain.

When my ndad called me when I was 15 screaming at me “I don’t want to see you wearing anything other than long sweatpants and baggy sweatshirts, your body disgusts me so much I want to puke. Why do you think no one voted you to be on student council”
It stuck with me as the moment I realized how truly, truly unhinged and cruel he actually is. Who would say that to their own child?

Far too many things to count, although when I accidentally found out about my Nfathers years long affair by her walking into my house & me walking out wondering who the hell was this random person coming into my house & baby talking to my dog, comes to mind. I mentioned this weird encounter when he woke up (he worked nights so he was sleeping while she barged into my house) & he immediately knew what I was referring to, took me aside, & told me basically if I speak any word of this it will be my fault for the downfall of everything, I will be the reason my parents divorce, I will be the reason this beautiful house we had just recently moved into at the time, would be sold, I will be the reason they are never happy again.

I held that in for 6 months until that got just far far too heavy for my young self to handle, I broke down like crazy to my mom, & she had a lot to say to him later on for putting all of that weight on me. I think I was only about 14 at that time, & I was already going thru so much. That just really ripped me up. Still does tbh.

I have two things said to teenage me:

• "If you ever have kids I will go to the courts and have you declared unfit to be a parent and raise those kids as my own"

• "When I die I want to be cremated and my ashes spread on your living room carpet and you will be required to never vacuum that carpet or you would lose your inheritance. That way I can still keep my eye on you"

40 year old me neither have kids nor carpets in my house btw.

My mom would say things to make me cry just so she could comfort me. For example, when I was around 11, I had hair growth on my face and shaved it. She told me that I was going to grow a thick beard because I shaved my face. I believed her and started crying. She hugged me and tried to hold me in her arms like I was a baby. It was intentional.

I don't know. I normalized the streams of demeaning rhetoric and straight up insults that came at me. It's insane I did. I was literally shocked to realize that didn't happen in normal families.

I think the most disgusting thing my nmom ever said to me was as an adult. She said she didn't know how to engage with me because I was so smart she was "scared" of me. Not scared enough to keep her from calling me a "worthless little f**k" and beating the s**t out of me whenever she wanted, apparently.

Christ, I hate her so f**king much. What a horrid parent.

"Go ahead and ki** yourself, I don't care."

Nothing. The most hurtful thing my parents did was completely ignore me for long periods of time.

“You are hard to live with, and not easy to love”

Oh, I have several. Of course, my mother ‘doesn’t remember’ ever saying them.

“I had kids so I don’t have to do chores.”

“We don’t need a dishwasher. That’s what I had you for.”

“You’re the oldest so it’s your responsibility.”

“You’re hiding enough already.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

And that’s just a few of the nuggets.