33 Divorce Lawyers Are Sharing The Most Ridiculous Cases In Their Careers

Bored Panda spoke to one of the top divorce lawyers in the United States—James J. Sexton, Esq. Described by former clients as a “courtroom gunslinger” and “the sociopath you want on your side”, his expertise in the law is matched only by his counsel for relationship advice. 

His best-selling book If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late recounts the cases he’s handled and offers unique insights into how married couples can maintain their relationships before they end up in his office as a client. Though he deals constantly with the heartbreak of others, he still believes in romance and the transformative power of love.

In our interview, I asked if James could share a courtroom story or some relationship advice to our readers. Understandably, he said, “Sorry, I would be doing you (and my publisher) a disservice to try to summarize that in a few sentences. I wrote a whole book on it!” So, you should get a copy for yourself if you want to know more.

Becoming a lawyer requires one of the longest processes to become qualified. It typically takes seven years to complete and even then, you still have to prove your mettle. I asked James about his experience in first becoming a lawyer and he told Bored Panda, “I loved it since the day I started. First, I was a psychology major, then, I got my M.A. and was working on my PhD in cultural anthropology.”

But like a lot of young people going through their studies, he set his sights onto a new path after discovering what he enjoyed most and where his strengths lay. “I realized my skills at debate and extemporaneous speaking could help more people as a divorce lawyer than as a professor, so I went to law school. I hated law school but I've loved every day of being a divorce lawyer for the last 20 years. It's the best job ever in my opinion, at least for me.”

In James’ experience, the role of a divorce lawyer can be defined in different ways, depending on how you look at it. James said, “The ‘public’ answer would be to assist our clients in identifying the legal issues presented in their case, help them understand their rights and obligations under applicable law, and thereafter help them figure out what they ‘want’ in the divorce.”

“This is usually informed by what they're entitled to, as there can be almost no limits to what someone might ‘want’ and, thus, it's nice to have it tethered to what they might reasonably expect to accomplish.”

"In reality," James explains, "much of our job is to protect clients from themselves. We have to see their case objectively: from both their 'side' and from that of their spouse (or, their spouse's counsel, who I always imagine is a smarter and harder-working version of myself, just to be safe and keep me sharp)."

"We help them identify what's an emotional issue and what's a legal issue. To help them understand that, ultimately, getting divorced is fairly awful, but a post-divorce life can be fulfilling. More so if you don't set fire to everything you have in an attempt to 'hurt' the other side for hurting you."

Being a divorce lawyer (or any lawyer, for that matter) forces you to think pragmatically. James explained more about the work and the need to distance yourself occasionally. He said, "We try to think strategically and dispassionately about the incredibly important issues our clients trust us with. And most of our time is spent arguing with our own client who, ultimately, is paying us an exorbitant amount of money to facilitate the divorce process that feels like the most awful experience ever to them."

James continued about the many hard roles he takes on, but it's all worth it to him. He explained further, "We tell people things they don't want to hear but often need to hear. We wake up thinking about them and go to bed thinking about them. We, much of the time, are attempting to do the impossible for the ungrateful. That being said: I love my job."

He explained further and used a metaphor to describe his daily work: "Every divorce is a multivariate equation. It's a chess match with real-life consequences. All divorce lawyers, like all chess players, know the same 'moves' and are simultaneously attempting to 'attack' and 'defend'."

"The best of us see 5-10 moves ahead. The worst of us are like our clients, who usually just see the most obvious move on the board and want to 'win' whatever 'piece' can be taken at that moment—even if it walks us right into the other side's checkmate."

But it's all in days work for James and many of the other lawyers who have shared their stories here. When all is fair in love and war, it takes someone with both knowledge of the law as well as a human touch to ensure that divorce issues can be resolved successfully.