Many of us have been there... Lost down a dramatic rabbit hole of late-night Google searches, prompted by a headache or pain that just won't quit. One minute, we're calmly checking our symptoms. The next, we're having a panic attack and mentally drawing up our last wishes - convinced we've got a fatal case of some rare disease, and have months, if not days, left to live.
Thanks to the internet, it would seem like a medical degree is no longer needed to make a diagnosis. Armed with WebMD, MayoClinic, TikTok, and a false sense of confidence, ordinary "experts" believe they have it all figured out. But often, it's this very determination that leads to hilarious, and sometimes disastrous, results.
Someone once asked, "What was the MOST incorrect self-diagnosis you've encountered in your practice?" and judging by the answers, the real doctors out there have seen it all… From a patient who was convinced they had a bee in their eye, to another who claimed they'd had 20 heart attacks.
Bored Panda has put together a compilation of the best of the worst self-diagnosis cases doctors have witnessed. While some are funny, others are quite the opposite. All are a reminder that Dr. Google isn't always right, and it's advisable to seek expert advice IRL when it comes to your health.
We also unpack some stats, and the dangers of deciding that your own opinion trumps a doctor’s. You’ll find that info between the images.
#21
A lovely healthy 50-something lady patient presented with her best friend because she was unable to walk.
It turns out she had been becoming weaker over the past couple of months and now had been bed-bound for two weeks.
As she talked she waved her hand over her right breast and mentioned something about a problem there. I took a look. She had breast cancer that was so advanced that it was ulcerating through the skin in an area about the size of a small orange. I'll never forget seeing that.
It's such a shame because she was such a lovely lady. We talked for about half an hour and during that I found that she had put it down to a lot of stress overwhelming her life lately to do with her son leaving home and a few other things. She seemed like a spiritual lady, and she was so sensitive and overwhelmed at the time that I had to take things very slow with her. During that 30 minutes I really felt that I connected with her and slowly helped her understand what was actually going on and that the next few weeks would be tough with treatments etc.
This was about a month after I had started as a junior doctor. The next day I got a complaint to my supervisor by the head nurse for taking too long with a patient, plus a whole lot of other made up stuff about being unprofessional etc to make her claim sound better. Had to go to meetings with management etc.
Anyway, the reason the patient couldn't walk was because of high calcium from metastases all through her bones. I treated that and she was able to walk again a few days later. I looked up her file about three months after and she was still alive, on hormone therapy to slow the cancer's progression.
It turns out she had been becoming weaker over the past couple of months and now had been bed-bound for two weeks.
As she talked she waved her hand over her right breast and mentioned something about a problem there. I took a look. She had breast cancer that was so advanced that it was ulcerating through the skin in an area about the size of a small orange. I'll never forget seeing that.
It's such a shame because she was such a lovely lady. We talked for about half an hour and during that I found that she had put it down to a lot of stress overwhelming her life lately to do with her son leaving home and a few other things. She seemed like a spiritual lady, and she was so sensitive and overwhelmed at the time that I had to take things very slow with her. During that 30 minutes I really felt that I connected with her and slowly helped her understand what was actually going on and that the next few weeks would be tough with treatments etc.
This was about a month after I had started as a junior doctor. The next day I got a complaint to my supervisor by the head nurse for taking too long with a patient, plus a whole lot of other made up stuff about being unprofessional etc to make her claim sound better. Had to go to meetings with management etc.
Anyway, the reason the patient couldn't walk was because of high calcium from metastases all through her bones. I treated that and she was able to walk again a few days later. I looked up her file about three months after and she was still alive, on hormone therapy to slow the cancer's progression.
35points
#22
I'm not a doctor....
So I was at a friends house spending the night. I had fallen asleep and forgot to take my contacts out. I wake up and my eyes were really hurting. I go to the bathroom to take out my contacts. I claw at my left eye and eventually manage to remove the lense. I do the same thing to my right eye, clawing at it trying to remove the lense. Eventually I realise there isn't even a contact lense in my eye, so I freak out thinking it had somehow slid up behind my eye. I claw at my eye even more, digging around for my contact lense. I still didn't find it. A few hours later my eye is driving me crazy and hurts like hell. So I get my parents to take me to a walk in clinic. They basically tell me I'm an idiot and that contact lenses can't go behind your eye, and apparently in my sleep I must have scratched it out of my eye. Also I scratched my eye up so bad it got infected and I went blind in that eye for about a week... Everything is fine now, but now I know not to sleep with contact lenses in.
TLDR; fell asleep with contact lense in, scratched eye really bad, went blind for a week.
So I was at a friends house spending the night. I had fallen asleep and forgot to take my contacts out. I wake up and my eyes were really hurting. I go to the bathroom to take out my contacts. I claw at my left eye and eventually manage to remove the lense. I do the same thing to my right eye, clawing at it trying to remove the lense. Eventually I realise there isn't even a contact lense in my eye, so I freak out thinking it had somehow slid up behind my eye. I claw at my eye even more, digging around for my contact lense. I still didn't find it. A few hours later my eye is driving me crazy and hurts like hell. So I get my parents to take me to a walk in clinic. They basically tell me I'm an idiot and that contact lenses can't go behind your eye, and apparently in my sleep I must have scratched it out of my eye. Also I scratched my eye up so bad it got infected and I went blind in that eye for about a week... Everything is fine now, but now I know not to sleep with contact lenses in.
TLDR; fell asleep with contact lense in, scratched eye really bad, went blind for a week.
35points
#23
Not a Dr, but a pharmacist so I hope I'm allowed to play.
Patient had a cold, convinced it was "severe sinusitis" (a bit of a known hypochondriac). Saw Dr, got script for antibiotic. Was convinced she was allergic to every antibiotic tried until all that was left was antibiotics which aren't usually used in URTIs at a sub-therapeutic dose (because she's "very sensitive to medications"). The infection wasn't going away so she took antibiotics for longer and longer. She somehow got her hands on a blood glucose machine and must have had a reading that was slightly low one day because all of a sudden she started buying bags and bags of jelly beans because "the infection is making my blood sugar go dangerously low" (fasting ~4mmol/L, so normal). So she is taking more and more glucose (moved onto the straight glucose powder now) to control the "dumping syndrome" (I don't think she even read the Wiki on that one...) that the infection caused. Symptom of her "dumping syndrome": blood glucose dropping rapidly (because she is on a diet consisting of pretty much solely pure glucose) to "dangerous levels" (~4mmol/L). She is testing her blood glucose on average 20 times a day and taking about 250gm of pure glucose at least (from us) plus supplementing with lollies from the supermarket for some variety.
We've consulted with the Dr. Nobody can convince her otherwise, we've all tried. She's put on ~15kg in the last month or so and will definitely end up with diabetes soon.
Dr made a mistake the other day. In exasperation she said to her (in her 3rd appointment that month) "You should count yourself lucky, there are people far worse than you that can't even get out of bed". Nek minnit, she now gets deliveries because she is so sick she can't get out of bed...
Tl;dr - Lady had a cold is now giving herself diabetes by living on pretty much just simple sugars.
Patient had a cold, convinced it was "severe sinusitis" (a bit of a known hypochondriac). Saw Dr, got script for antibiotic. Was convinced she was allergic to every antibiotic tried until all that was left was antibiotics which aren't usually used in URTIs at a sub-therapeutic dose (because she's "very sensitive to medications"). The infection wasn't going away so she took antibiotics for longer and longer. She somehow got her hands on a blood glucose machine and must have had a reading that was slightly low one day because all of a sudden she started buying bags and bags of jelly beans because "the infection is making my blood sugar go dangerously low" (fasting ~4mmol/L, so normal). So she is taking more and more glucose (moved onto the straight glucose powder now) to control the "dumping syndrome" (I don't think she even read the Wiki on that one...) that the infection caused. Symptom of her "dumping syndrome": blood glucose dropping rapidly (because she is on a diet consisting of pretty much solely pure glucose) to "dangerous levels" (~4mmol/L). She is testing her blood glucose on average 20 times a day and taking about 250gm of pure glucose at least (from us) plus supplementing with lollies from the supermarket for some variety.
We've consulted with the Dr. Nobody can convince her otherwise, we've all tried. She's put on ~15kg in the last month or so and will definitely end up with diabetes soon.
Dr made a mistake the other day. In exasperation she said to her (in her 3rd appointment that month) "You should count yourself lucky, there are people far worse than you that can't even get out of bed". Nek minnit, she now gets deliveries because she is so sick she can't get out of bed...
Tl;dr - Lady had a cold is now giving herself diabetes by living on pretty much just simple sugars.
32points
#24
Someone thought they had "a strained muscle in their leg" because it locked up and they couldn't bend their knee, then an abscess formed at the top of their leg right at the pelvic bone, and blood/pus started literally *pouring* out, non-stop, for days.
Eventually he came to the doctor's office, then straight to the ER, and had an abscess in his psoas muscle caused by a perforation in his small intestine. Yep. Pretty far off on that guess there, but apparently it happened right after some heavy lifting.
(to be clear for all you gym rats, no, it was not in any way associated with him lifting, it was a result of undiagnosed crohn's disease destroying his intestines).
Eventually he came to the doctor's office, then straight to the ER, and had an abscess in his psoas muscle caused by a perforation in his small intestine. Yep. Pretty far off on that guess there, but apparently it happened right after some heavy lifting.
(to be clear for all you gym rats, no, it was not in any way associated with him lifting, it was a result of undiagnosed crohn's disease destroying his intestines).
31points
#25
Had a guy come in for migraines and confidently proclaimed that the severe head trauma he had suffered 1 month prior had nothing to do with it.
31points
#26
Patient was dizzy. Patient thought she had a brain tumor. Went to the medical general practitioner. General practitioner thought she had a chronic middle ear infection. Went to the ear, nose and throat physician. ENT diagnosis: pregnancy.
29points
#27
Mom noticed I started getting weirdly easily irritable and attached to her. She figured it was a case of early anxiety or something so she mentioned it to the doctor casually at an appointment. Blood tests outed her as the silly goose she was. Was actually leukemia.
29points
#28
So I'm a therapist and I work with kids. Worst misdiagnosis was a family with a two week old who was convinced the baby had
1)anxiety- because he cries.
2) autism- little eye contact
3)bipolar disorder- because baby would seem content then angry.
I spent HOURS explaining child development, what these diagnosis mean, how they would present in kids. I provided them with books, hand outs, etc. They insisted on going to see my co-worker and a psychiatrist as I was surely lying to them. Even after meeting with the other two professionals, they still weren't convinced. They requested psych meds from the doc.
1)anxiety- because he cries.
2) autism- little eye contact
3)bipolar disorder- because baby would seem content then angry.
I spent HOURS explaining child development, what these diagnosis mean, how they would present in kids. I provided them with books, hand outs, etc. They insisted on going to see my co-worker and a psychiatrist as I was surely lying to them. Even after meeting with the other two professionals, they still weren't convinced. They requested psych meds from the doc.
27points
#29
911 calltaker. 9/10 times this is what we get.
One of the best was "MY BABY CAN'T BREATHE!!!! SHE'S DYING AND GASPING! JUST SEND THEM!" .... then proceeds to hang up before I get an address.
Luckily I was already in the process of narrowing down her cell phone by refreshing the signal a few times (leave GPS turned on people!!) so I was 99% certain I had the right house. I start help out that way while I call her back; no answer. So I call the house number we had in previous calls for that address until I get an answer.
When she answers she's perfectly calm and happy asking who it is. When I tell her it's 911 and we got disconnected (no s**t, she hung up), she flips out screaming that I'm wasting time and sends like 10 insults my way. At this point I'm getting tired of it so I tell her there's more than one person here handling her call and we already have paramedics enroute.
At this point she tries to hang up again saying her baby isn't breathing. So I get forceful (AKA still polite but very direct) saying we need to start CPR, she says no need because they're pouring water over her to make her breathe.
Wtf? If she's gasping she's going to inhale the water.
She tries to hang up again and I tell her if she doesn't listen to me then I will make sure the sheriff goes out there (they already were, they respond to most child calls with us) for child endangerment because I'm trying to help save the baby correctly. Now "help me help you".
Now she listens and walks into the room where the baby is screaming loudly. "SEE?! SHE'S NOT BREATHING SHE NEEDS WATER OR SOMETHING!"
Again, I've lost all patience. If the child is screaming then they are breathing. If they aren't having difficulty crying then they are breathing fine. This kid was breathing just fine, just angry. I tell her this and she says the magic words:
"Lady I'm a CNA, I have no idea what you do but I help people."
"Ma'am my training academy to do my job is longer than your CNA training. I don't try to drown people when they cry." And at this point I think I should not have said that...
Luckily the medics made it there by then and she got focused on them. The baby was screaming because they spanked a 3 month old for spitting up.
One of the best was "MY BABY CAN'T BREATHE!!!! SHE'S DYING AND GASPING! JUST SEND THEM!" .... then proceeds to hang up before I get an address.
Luckily I was already in the process of narrowing down her cell phone by refreshing the signal a few times (leave GPS turned on people!!) so I was 99% certain I had the right house. I start help out that way while I call her back; no answer. So I call the house number we had in previous calls for that address until I get an answer.
When she answers she's perfectly calm and happy asking who it is. When I tell her it's 911 and we got disconnected (no s**t, she hung up), she flips out screaming that I'm wasting time and sends like 10 insults my way. At this point I'm getting tired of it so I tell her there's more than one person here handling her call and we already have paramedics enroute.
At this point she tries to hang up again saying her baby isn't breathing. So I get forceful (AKA still polite but very direct) saying we need to start CPR, she says no need because they're pouring water over her to make her breathe.
Wtf? If she's gasping she's going to inhale the water.
She tries to hang up again and I tell her if she doesn't listen to me then I will make sure the sheriff goes out there (they already were, they respond to most child calls with us) for child endangerment because I'm trying to help save the baby correctly. Now "help me help you".
Now she listens and walks into the room where the baby is screaming loudly. "SEE?! SHE'S NOT BREATHING SHE NEEDS WATER OR SOMETHING!"
Again, I've lost all patience. If the child is screaming then they are breathing. If they aren't having difficulty crying then they are breathing fine. This kid was breathing just fine, just angry. I tell her this and she says the magic words:
"Lady I'm a CNA, I have no idea what you do but I help people."
"Ma'am my training academy to do my job is longer than your CNA training. I don't try to drown people when they cry." And at this point I think I should not have said that...
Luckily the medics made it there by then and she got focused on them. The baby was screaming because they spanked a 3 month old for spitting up.
27points
#30
Man came into the ER in a panic thinking he had incurable skin cancer.
Turns out he had a wart on his foot...
Turns out he had a wart on his foot...
25points
#31
This is only tangentially related to the topic at hand but gave me great joy at the time, so I thought I'd share.
During my time as an intern, a patient was admitted for anemia (hematocrit of 16) requiring blood transfusions. Turns out that at some point in the past, after she was diagnosed with an in-born error of metabolism, her primary care physician prescribed her vitamin B12 injections (your body requires B12 to make hemoglobin).
Instead of going back for refills after she ran out, however, she headed over to her local pharmacy, bought *vitamin B6* tablets, and proceeded to take *two* per day, and went on to explain how, you know doc, it's the same thing!
Yeah, no.
During my time as an intern, a patient was admitted for anemia (hematocrit of 16) requiring blood transfusions. Turns out that at some point in the past, after she was diagnosed with an in-born error of metabolism, her primary care physician prescribed her vitamin B12 injections (your body requires B12 to make hemoglobin).
Instead of going back for refills after she ran out, however, she headed over to her local pharmacy, bought *vitamin B6* tablets, and proceeded to take *two* per day, and went on to explain how, you know doc, it's the same thing!
Yeah, no.
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25points
#32
**Tl,dr: I think I'm having eye-strain induced headaches. In reality, the bone marrow in 1/3 of my skull had turned necrotic.**
It was the summer of 2008. I was at work with a massive headache. I decided to head home early. Thinking my eyes were acting up again. (I'd suffered from severe light sensitivity since I was 12. This wasn't entirely uncommon.)
In the lobby of the building I pass out as I'm nodding to the security guard. I wake up in the hospital, the doctor is talking with a nurse insisting I get another set of X-rays "There's no way this is right, have a different tech take another set of images." Then he walks out.
I'm asking what's up. No one is explaining anything. I have another set of X-rays done. A bunch of other Scans of which I still don't understand the differences. And eventually the doctor comes in. Still no one has explained anything to me, no matter how much I ask "Wait for the doctor to get back."
Finally the doctor comes in and tells me they're going to need to prep me for surgery. I immediately ask about my eyes. He seems confused. "Did no one tell you what's going on?"
"...umm..."
Doctor gets all upset "You're missing 1/3 of your skull. Or more appropriately, the bone marrow inside the entire right side of your head is necrotic. It's just sitting there between slivers of bone. When's the last time you've been to the dentist?"
"I don't know, 10-15 years ago? I was planning on going next month now that I finally have insurance for the first time."
"Well we're not sure how it is you're alive. But this has been building for at least 10 years. An abscess in your gums has burrowed up into your bone."
A week later, after a bunch of specialists are consulted, I had my teeth, gums, soft palette, and entire right side of my skull drained of fluid and removed. I was awake through most of it, and no amount of pain medication was enough to deal through the worst of it. Everything was replaced by mostly a plastic polymer, with some metal studs to snap everything together.
Edit: My photo-sensitivity issues weren't a related symptom, if you have light sensitivity and get headaches; don't worry. It's normal for photo-sensitive eyes to get headaches in bright light. If you have an abscess though, go to the dentist. No matter how much it costs.
It was the summer of 2008. I was at work with a massive headache. I decided to head home early. Thinking my eyes were acting up again. (I'd suffered from severe light sensitivity since I was 12. This wasn't entirely uncommon.)
In the lobby of the building I pass out as I'm nodding to the security guard. I wake up in the hospital, the doctor is talking with a nurse insisting I get another set of X-rays "There's no way this is right, have a different tech take another set of images." Then he walks out.
I'm asking what's up. No one is explaining anything. I have another set of X-rays done. A bunch of other Scans of which I still don't understand the differences. And eventually the doctor comes in. Still no one has explained anything to me, no matter how much I ask "Wait for the doctor to get back."
Finally the doctor comes in and tells me they're going to need to prep me for surgery. I immediately ask about my eyes. He seems confused. "Did no one tell you what's going on?"
"...umm..."
Doctor gets all upset "You're missing 1/3 of your skull. Or more appropriately, the bone marrow inside the entire right side of your head is necrotic. It's just sitting there between slivers of bone. When's the last time you've been to the dentist?"
"I don't know, 10-15 years ago? I was planning on going next month now that I finally have insurance for the first time."
"Well we're not sure how it is you're alive. But this has been building for at least 10 years. An abscess in your gums has burrowed up into your bone."
A week later, after a bunch of specialists are consulted, I had my teeth, gums, soft palette, and entire right side of my skull drained of fluid and removed. I was awake through most of it, and no amount of pain medication was enough to deal through the worst of it. Everything was replaced by mostly a plastic polymer, with some metal studs to snap everything together.
Edit: My photo-sensitivity issues weren't a related symptom, if you have light sensitivity and get headaches; don't worry. It's normal for photo-sensitive eyes to get headaches in bright light. If you have an abscess though, go to the dentist. No matter how much it costs.
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25points
#33
A girl i know works in ER and not too long ago a college age kid came in around midnight to get tested for herpes. They figured it must have been pretty bad for him to go into the ER, after further investigation the small red dot turned out to be an ingrown hair.
25points
#34
A few months ago I developed a bad sore on my upper outside gum. It hurt, a lot, and so I asked my wife (a former dental assistant) to check it out. She said it looked like an abscessed tooth.
I went in to the dentist the next day. Another dental assistant (with years of experience) took a look and said, yeah, sure looked like an abscess to her. Too bad, it's a root canal. She took some x-rays and left. I'm feeling pretty bad about it now. I thought I took decent care of my teeth, so this kind of blind sided me. I started mentally preparing myself for seemingly inevitable root canal.
The dentist came in. He's normally a pretty funny guy, but this time he was pretty serious. He looks at the X-rays, peers in my mouth for about ten seconds, and then stands up and starts elevating my chair. "Seven to ten days." That's all he said. I'm pretty confused at this point. He laughed at my expression and said, "You have one heck of a canker sore, sir. It'll be gone in 7-10 days. Today's your lucky day."
I've never been so happy to have a canker sore.
I went in to the dentist the next day. Another dental assistant (with years of experience) took a look and said, yeah, sure looked like an abscess to her. Too bad, it's a root canal. She took some x-rays and left. I'm feeling pretty bad about it now. I thought I took decent care of my teeth, so this kind of blind sided me. I started mentally preparing myself for seemingly inevitable root canal.
The dentist came in. He's normally a pretty funny guy, but this time he was pretty serious. He looks at the X-rays, peers in my mouth for about ten seconds, and then stands up and starts elevating my chair. "Seven to ten days." That's all he said. I'm pretty confused at this point. He laughed at my expression and said, "You have one heck of a canker sore, sir. It'll be gone in 7-10 days. Today's your lucky day."
I've never been so happy to have a canker sore.
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25points
#35
Not a doctor (yet), but I work in the ER as a Scribe, so I follow them around all day. We had a lady come in and said "I got crabs". The Doctor asked "have you seen any of them", to which she replies "no, but I can feel them biting me. My husband gave them to me and my kids". At this statement, we were all thinking "what?".
However, it soon became clear that this lady had no idea what crabs actually are. She ended up having a mild rash and was discharged along with her family, but that was quite an interesting self-diagnosis.
However, it soon became clear that this lady had no idea what crabs actually are. She ended up having a mild rash and was discharged along with her family, but that was quite an interesting self-diagnosis.
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25points
#36
Had a friend come to me claiming she was surely dying and had colon cancer. She had dark stool, among some other things, the bloody stool being, "the smoking gun." I asked her what she had been taking to help with her stomach pains. She said Pepto-Bismol of course.
I told her to stop taking the Pepto-Bismol, and told her to go see her primary physician about it. Sure enough it was just the Pepto-Bismol.
I told her to stop taking the Pepto-Bismol, and told her to go see her primary physician about it. Sure enough it was just the Pepto-Bismol.
24points
#37
Real story as a 3rd yr med student -- was rotating through a south side Chicago hospital (aka the hood), female patient in her 50s, thought she was pregnant and asked for a pregnancy test, since she was not menstruating for last couple months. Pregnancy test comes back negative, meantime we work up the history of her experiencing all the classic symptoms of menopause. Anyways, when we tried to explain to her that it was menopause, a natural physiological response to aging in females, she got extremely upset. Requested for a repeat pregnancy test, which we obliged to. Once again, results came back negative. Tried explaining to the patient once more what menopause was, however she told us we were making things up to put it pleasantly. When asked what she thought was wrong, her explanation, in her words were as follows:
1) I am pregnant with baby Jesus
2) I need to get a new boyfriend.
We tried one last time to explain the situation, however she stormed out and never came back. True story.
1) I am pregnant with baby Jesus
2) I need to get a new boyfriend.
We tried one last time to explain the situation, however she stormed out and never came back. True story.
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24points
#38
While working as a nurse, had a patient who insisted that her abdominal pain was from a surgery she'd had done on her arm. She thought that a staple that had been used to close the wound on her arm had somehow traveled to her abdomen.
23points
#39
I'm not a doctor, but a medical translator. I was translating for a refugee patient who asked me to tell the doctor that every bone in her face and hands was broken. She was very insistent that this was the case. She also asked the doctor for a full-body beautification surgery and this was at a free clinic.
It was apparent that her face and hands were not broken and when I relayed the information to the doctor he looked very confused. I'm pretty sure the patient was just a bit crazy because they sent her out of there with nothing more than some Motrin.
It was apparent that her face and hands were not broken and when I relayed the information to the doctor he looked very confused. I'm pretty sure the patient was just a bit crazy because they sent her out of there with nothing more than some Motrin.
22points
#40
Not a doctor but a Physio, had an elderly female patient ask if she should go and have her prostate checked because her father passed away because of prostate cancer at her age. Bless.
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22points
