35 People Who Asked Such Uncomfortable Questions About Pregnancy, Women Just Had To Share Them In This Thread

Most people would never ask someone intrusive questions about their health situation or touch them without permission. But pregnancy seems to be an exception because fielding invasive remarks and uninvited opinions is almost inevitable when you're expecting. While raising nosy questions could be understandable due to our curious nature as human beings, they sometimes cross the line from being pleasant to downright judgmental.

To find out why some people feel the right to announce inappropriate remarks and how best to handle them, we reached out to Melinda Delisle, a clinical nutritionist, researcher, and healthy pregnancy coach for pregnant people who want to feel confident in their decisions. She is also the founder of the Confident Pregnancy website where she guides expectant parents on the best actions for their pregnancy.

Delisle told Bored Panda there could be multiple reasons people raise these uncomfortable and even rude questions. First, some genuinely believe they could help with their beneficial knowledge but lack the understanding that pregnant people deserve just as much respect and autonomy as anyone else, she argued.

"I am rather ashamed to admit that I used to be in that camp. When I was a young childbirth educator and doula in my 20s, I thought that every pregnant belly was an invitation to share — or at least offer to share — my expertise. Fortunately, I eventually realized that I was very out of line," Delisle revealed.

The clinical nutritionist explained that curiosity also plays a role simply because pregnancy is a different experience for some individuals out there, "and many people just don’t know how to deal with it and want to know more."

Another reason could be feelings of discomfort and fear. "Depending on someone’s own beliefs about pregnancy, they may be uncomfortable or have negative associations or even personal trauma that gets triggered around the idea of pregnancy and birth," she said and mentioned this could lead to saying things we would usually not say.

As you’re reading through these stories, it may be hard to believe how entitled some people are about blatantly sharing their unsolicited opinions. "I honestly believe that most people either don’t realize the questions or comments are inappropriate, are acting out of their own emotional triggers or discomfort, or think that they are being helpful," Delisle said and added this still does not change the fact that it is disrespectful and puts the pregnant person in a very uncomfortable situation.

"No matter what the reason is for people asking these kinds of questions (or even the dreaded question/action of touching someone’s pregnant belly), it can evoke … anxiety, nervousness, fear, frustration, irritation, and even anger," she added. So even when the things people voice aloud might be helpful, it can make pregnant people feel uneasy or even obliged to listen to their observations.

The fact is, most expectant moms hear ridiculous and insulting remarks way more often than you'd think and it can be hard for them to know how to respond. Fortunately, there are ways to set healthy boundaries to curb some of the unwanted opinions. Delisle told us it is ultimately up to the pregnant person to decide if they want to engage, and how much: "Sometimes, ignoring the comment or question may feel best and be easiest. Sometimes that is impossible, though, either because someone is insistent or because the conversation is already in process."

She suggested some ways to express boundaries: "Stand up straight, using a strong posture. Look the other person in the eye when you respond. Having a strong presence helps cut the conversation shorter." Moreover, you can think of a few razor-sharp comebacks in advance, such as "I prefer to keep that private," "I have my information sources all set, thanks," or "would you ask your mother that?"

Plus, you can always have an excuse ready: "You can say something like, 'What time is it? Sorry – I need to get going.' Or look at your phone and pretend that you got a text that you have to go take care of or call someone back. Or use the easiest (and probably accurate) pregnancy excuse: 'Please excuse me – I need to go to the restroom.'"

Needless to say, confronting people and things that make you uncomfortable can create even more discomfort. But we hope you can find a way that works for you to address unwanted comments about your pregnancy. The more you do it, the more at ease you will be in informing people about your boundaries.

To those encountering someone pregnant, you might now feel anxious about saying anything to an expectant mom at all. "If you want to say or ask something, first ask yourself how you would feel if a stranger said that to you. If you are not sure, don’t say it. Understand that not everyone has the same comfort level around sharing that you might," Delisle advised.