Let’s be real: we’ve all told a little white lie (or two) in our lives. Most of the time, they’re completely harmless, like saying you love a bizarre gift, or you’re too sick to go to a party you’d rather skip. Sometimes, though, these minor fibs can come back to bite us.
Someone asked an online community, “What is the most harmless lie you’ve told that spiraled out of control?”, and netizens didn’t disappoint with their answers. Tuck into this collection of some of the funniest, silliest, and most bizarre.
More info: Reddit
#21
Went to dinner to my girlfriends parents for the first time and told them I'd never had a potato before.
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11points
#22
For a laugh I put some rose petals in the edge of the cream cheese sandwich my mum made for me for school, and I said my mum always did it. From then on, people used to bring me roses and I had to make eat them.
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11points
#23
A friend of my dad worked as some sort of engineer/mechanic hybrid at a refinery. Basically they were in charge of fixing things, like the computer systems and problems with the equipment and so on. Everything from punch in clocks to acid baths to huge cranes was their responsibility.
Thing is, he got paid a base salary for just doing basic things like sitting around in the workshop and keeping tabs on the IT system. But if he had to go out on a call and do work on site outside the workshop, he got paid extra for the trouble. So if it was a slow day, sometimes he'd invent some problems with some equipment, so he could go there and "fix it" and get paid more.
Thing is, every time he did this he had to fill out a form about what had been fixed. Everything had an identification number. And since he did this frequently, he didn't want to bother to look up new identification numbers all the time, so he memorized an easy one for one of six huge multi tonne smelter ovens on sight. So he'd claim that it was broken, go there, "fix it", fill out a form saying it had been broken and he fixed it.
And then one day he shows up and management has decided to replace that smelter oven. Why? Well it kept breaking down all the time. Better to replace it before it broke down completely.
That thing cost millions of dollars.
Thing is, he got paid a base salary for just doing basic things like sitting around in the workshop and keeping tabs on the IT system. But if he had to go out on a call and do work on site outside the workshop, he got paid extra for the trouble. So if it was a slow day, sometimes he'd invent some problems with some equipment, so he could go there and "fix it" and get paid more.
Thing is, every time he did this he had to fill out a form about what had been fixed. Everything had an identification number. And since he did this frequently, he didn't want to bother to look up new identification numbers all the time, so he memorized an easy one for one of six huge multi tonne smelter ovens on sight. So he'd claim that it was broken, go there, "fix it", fill out a form saying it had been broken and he fixed it.
And then one day he shows up and management has decided to replace that smelter oven. Why? Well it kept breaking down all the time. Better to replace it before it broke down completely.
That thing cost millions of dollars.
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10points
#24
When I was younger, my cousin always took me everywhere and since she was 5 years older, it made my teenage years a lot more thrilling. I met a lot of her friends, went to parties, knew older people and generally felt cooler than kids my age. When I was 13, I was at her house when her friend called. She was a senior in high school and I was in my last year of middle school. She put me on the phone to just chat with her friend but told him I was also a senior in hs. So I had to fake it and somehow, he believed it. He was funny and smart and since I was over at her house often, it kind of became a regular thing. He asked my cousin to let him know when I was visiting so he’d know to call and that led to him asking if he could see a picture of me. In her panic (couldn’t show a real pic of me) she said she doesn’t have one, that I hate having my picture taken so she drew him a picture. My cousin never told him the truth and I was too young to have the maturity to put a stop to it. She eventually gave him my number and he was calling every day. This went on for months and for some reason or another, us meeting never worked out. When we were in the final half of the school year, he asked me to his prom. I felt terrible. I have to say, he was never inappropriate with me. He’d make me laugh but he was a really decent guy. I can’t remember exactly how I got out of it and he did find someone else to go to prom with him. My cousin never told him the truth. For all he knows, this girl who became a pretty good friend , left to go to college out of state.
I’m almost 50 and I still remember that with guilt.
I’m almost 50 and I still remember that with guilt.
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10points
#25
That my great-great grandfather invented the marching band.
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8points
#26
When I was 11 I told my parents that a girl in my class was bullying me (she wasn't) because they pressured me into admitting it although it never happened.
My dad later told the dad of that girl that he would beat him up for bullying me in the group chat of my class's parents. The girl in question ended up grounded, the whole class was mostly on her side (there were a few that remained neutral) and both my and the girl's parents got the police involved.
My parents talked to our neighbor who was a cop to do a deep dive on the father and it turns out that the guy was JACKED and was also a professional hunter, so naturally, my dad got nervous as he was fat and therefore would get smashed into paste if the guy just looked at him the wrong way. And the girl's mother went to the station to warn them that if something were to happen to any of them my father was responsible.
Eventually I had to tell my parents the truth about she not bullying me and the rest is kinda foggy. The girl basically never talked to me again, at least not in person and without any sort of argument going on.
Fortunately everyone forgot it like 3 months later and it was never talked about again, and I managed to restore the few little crumbs of the reputation I had left and form a new identity, one that doesn't break so easily at the hands of others and consequently never opens up about its true feelings.
I'm fine btw.
My dad later told the dad of that girl that he would beat him up for bullying me in the group chat of my class's parents. The girl in question ended up grounded, the whole class was mostly on her side (there were a few that remained neutral) and both my and the girl's parents got the police involved.
My parents talked to our neighbor who was a cop to do a deep dive on the father and it turns out that the guy was JACKED and was also a professional hunter, so naturally, my dad got nervous as he was fat and therefore would get smashed into paste if the guy just looked at him the wrong way. And the girl's mother went to the station to warn them that if something were to happen to any of them my father was responsible.
Eventually I had to tell my parents the truth about she not bullying me and the rest is kinda foggy. The girl basically never talked to me again, at least not in person and without any sort of argument going on.
Fortunately everyone forgot it like 3 months later and it was never talked about again, and I managed to restore the few little crumbs of the reputation I had left and form a new identity, one that doesn't break so easily at the hands of others and consequently never opens up about its true feelings.
I'm fine btw.
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7points
#27
I convinced another kid that my name was something else, and (a week or two later) I watched him argue with my friend on what my name is and it was hilarious. It’s all cleared up now, we’re friends, and he calls me by the fake name sometimes for fun.
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7points
#28
In the 8th grade, our PE teacher was trying to "grow" athletes for the high school football team. We all got a Costco jug of protein powder and we were strongly encouraged to drink protein shakes.
Fast forward to two summers later when my mom got me a job with her cleaning condos. It was grueling work and we cleaned like 7 units from 6am to noon. Each week she told me how much money we made but at the end of the month she ended up paying me only a fraction of what we earned. I drove the two hours each way every day in my car mind you
I was cleaning the kitchen and found my ol'protein bucket. Oddly enough it looked a lot like the Slimfast my mom was taking to loose weight and "catch a man". I poured half of the Slimfast out and the protein powder in, mixed them up and moved on with my day.
She asked me about every week if she looked like she was loosing weight. She wasn't.
Fast forward to two summers later when my mom got me a job with her cleaning condos. It was grueling work and we cleaned like 7 units from 6am to noon. Each week she told me how much money we made but at the end of the month she ended up paying me only a fraction of what we earned. I drove the two hours each way every day in my car mind you
I was cleaning the kitchen and found my ol'protein bucket. Oddly enough it looked a lot like the Slimfast my mom was taking to loose weight and "catch a man". I poured half of the Slimfast out and the protein powder in, mixed them up and moved on with my day.
She asked me about every week if she looked like she was loosing weight. She wasn't.
5points
#29
When I dropped out of college 18 still living with my parents. This lie took a lot of effort to keep up the belief. But I just didn’t want to get kicked out which I did when she found out. I just wasn’t ready for it.
5points
#30
Don't worry I got a vasectomy. tens of thousands of dollars of child support later here we are.
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-5points
